Good weeks of games. However, if you have been watching FOX's promos during the MLB games, you would think they would be showing a live webcam of a nude Kiera Knightley during the games the way they have hyped thier slate of games. Anyway, let's go:
Denver @ Baltimore (-3)
So, considering Baltimore is the home team, Vegas thinks that they are equal teams, even though Baltimore has lost 3 straight and Denver has answered every challenge. That seems insane, but when you think Vegas continues to build more and more lavish casinos each year, they probably know something. Now, I definitely think Denver is better in nearly every way, and Denver is one of the three best teams in the AFC, but they are not going 16-0. They will lose sooner or later. Baltimore still has to have some pride. I mean, the old Ray Lewis would have near killed his corners after their awful performance the last three weeks. They are a good enough team to win this at home. However, Denver is going places. Baltimore is too, but unlike Denver, those places do not involve the words "play" and "offs".
Broncos 14 Ravens 20 (BAL)
Cleveland @ Chicago (-13)
Chicago just looked like a CFL team last week, and they are still favored by 13!! That is insane, and just speaks to how awful some of these teams are. In years past, I would feel that this is the game that the Browns can sneak out of with a cheap W, as Jay Cutler continues to do a poor man's Jake Delhomme impression (or a rich man's, depending how you look at it). However, this is not other years, this is 2009, where the poor teams resemble Sudanites, while the good teams are lavish Saudi Princes eating out of gold plates, wiping their faces with platinum napkins. Now, Chicago is that middle class, but that is good enough to win by 13, when they know that if they do not perform, Lovie Smith's seat may begin to feel a bit warmer.
Browns 13 Bears 31 (CHI)
Houston (-3) @ Buffalo
Buffalo is the worst 3 win team in the NFL. Houston is the best 3 loss team in the NFL. Those things speak to me quite loudly, and they are saying "Houston smokes them." Schaub will continue to please Houstonites, and more importantly please my fantasy teams. Honestly, as he continues to pile up numbers at a rate that only one man can match, I begin to pat myself on the bak approxamately every 20 seconds. I am so proud of that pick. Now, if he goes out and breaks his collarbone tomorrow because of wind pressure to his back, then it is my fault for buying into him when he was a huge injury risk, but who gives a shit. The guy produces, and you can throw (and run, and do whatever you damn well please) against Buffalo. If these are the Texans I think they are, and if this team has playoff aspirations, then they take care of business, with Indy looming next week.
Texans 34 Bills 17 (HOU)
Miami @ New York (a) (-3)
Good game, and I am so distraught over picking this game. I don't know what to do. I love the Doplhins. They are exciting to watch. They could have easily beaten both the Colts and the Saints. They are so much better than that 2-4 record. The Jets have been average for a solid month now, disregarding that scrimmage they played last week. They can be had. They are entering a weird part of the NY media right now. The Jets are getting into deals surrounding hot dogs and Sanchez, and their fat head coach who probably eats hot dogs like crack addicts snort. Rex Ryan probably was mad becuase Mark got a hot dog and he did not. Miami is the better team, and I believe that to hell, but the Jets have a lot to play for. They cannot fall too far behind, but neither can the Dolphins. Potentially going 2-5 is more pressing tht potentially going 4-4. I have no real reason for this pick, and when Rex shuts down their wildcat I will feel stupid, but fuck it. I like them. I like the Wildcat. I like Tony Sparano. I hate Ted Ginn's hands, but that is neither here nor there.
Dolphins 23 Jets 17 (MIA)
Seattle @ Dallas (-9.5)
Seattle is coming off a bye, and Dallas is coming off a week of them suddenly getting hype. There is no way Miles Austin ever has two games in a row close to those last two, so he will definitely be less of a factor in this game. Hasselbeck is playing, and they are playing for their season here. Dallas is the type of team that buys into their own hype, and can lay an egg in this game. I'm not buying the Dallas resurgence and I am buying Seattle playing well when they play for thier season. Plus, after seeing what Ced Benson did, Julius Jones has a nice revenge game here. I say he doesn't play much of a factor, but Hasselbeck and his corp has an advantage over a Dallas defense with many, many holes in that back end.
Seahawks 27 Cowboys 20 (SEA)
San Francisco @ Indianapolis (-12)
How is this line not higher? This team is a juggernaut. They have won each of their last 4 games by 21, 17, 22 and 36. They are a great team. If this was 2007, and the niners were going to Foxborough the line would have been like 24, and this team is nearly as good. Alex Smith is playing. That is all I need to know. The Colts defense is quietly the second best scoring defense in the league, and they have the best pass defense in the NFL, and now everyone is back healthy. This defense will dominate. Manning will dominate. Singletary will pull his pants down. Crabtree will not be much of a factor. Life will keep going on in Indy, and return to its mediocre normal in San Fran.
49ers 13 Colts 38 (IND)
New York (n) @ Philadelphia (pick)
This is an interesting game. If this was not Philly, and it were another 4-2 team, I would pick them against a Giants team that looked lifeless a week ago. But these are the Eagles, who historically decide to fuck it up in the middle of the season. The Giants are a better team, bottomline, and they need to make a statement that these are not the Giants that looked absolutely dead last week. Also, historically this matchup goes against Home-Field, and the Philly fans will be all out celebrating their Game 3 win and drinking it up for Game 4 to care that the Eagles will fail to show up in full strength.
Giants 26 Eagles 17 (NYG)
Oakland @ San Diego (-16.5)
This is an insanely high line for a team with no heart. Seriously, San Diego is heartless. LT is a shell of his old self. Its embarrasing to watch LT not be able to punch one of his 12 goal line carries in when he had a season just 3 years ago when he had 31 tds. The Raiders could have easily beaten them in Week one, and when they look preposterously bad, the usually follow it up with a performance. They can keep this game within two touchdowns. They are not winning, no matter how lifeless San Diego is, becuase Oakland is full of life, of fucking sad awful life.
Raiders 14 Chargers 24 (OAK)
Jacksonville @ Tennessee (-3)
Yup, that's right. 0-6 Tennessee is favored. The Jags beat them by 20, and the Titans just lost by 59. Is Vegas drunk? Am I drunk and reading this line wrong? (more likely than the first scenario). This is absolutely ridiculous. Now, Vince Young is starting. I have no idea how this effects this. He has the ability to make plays against the Jags, but he's also JaMarcus Russell 2.0 (actually he came first, so J-Russ is VY2.0). Jeff Fisher is a good enough coach to make his team win this game. He has to do something after that pitiful showing two weeks ago. Also, the Jags have to stop fooling people that they are a decent team. They are not. If I were the Jags, I would stop this charade now, so they can Jack Del Rio fired, which is what they all want.
Jaguars 14 Titans 20 (TEN)
Carolina @ Arizona (-10)
This line is right on. Carolina is not that good. I have figured that out, albeit 15 weeks after everyone figured that out. It baffles me that Jake is still starting for that team. I realize that their other options are AJ Feeley and Matt Moore (seriously, Matt fucking Moore). Now, if AJ Feeley goes in, we may get some Heather Mills shots in there, but really that's all there is to look for. Arizona is good (which will make the Colts 31-10 beatdown of the Cards in 'Zona more impressive). They are the best team in that division, and outside of the Saints, are my favorite NFC team. The Cards will get this thing rolling, and if they are a team that wants to capitilize on their recent success and potentially match their NFC title (that's right. If you have forgotten, and i don't blame you if you have, they did go to the Super Bowl last year), they take care of business.
Panthers 14 Cardinals 31 (ARZ)
Minnesota @ Green Bay (-3)
Here it is. I hope to God they boo the fuck out of Favre. I hope to God Kampman drives that primadonna to the ground. I hope to God Aaron Rodgers throws a touchdown and gives Favre the finger right after. I know that it was the Packers that essentially let him go, but Favre is such a vindictive bitch. Seriously, just fucking retire already. When you start chucking up more pick-sixes and fail to even attempt to tackle the guy that just picked up your horrendous fumble, people will see the fraud you are. If Green Bay has any pride, they shove this game in Favre's face. I think Mike McCarthy is a prideful fellow.
Vikings 17 Packers 30 (GB)
Atlanta @ New Orleans (-10)
The Saints are really, really good. They are the next decades version of the Greatest Show on Turf. They have the QB, they have the weapons, they have the opportunistic underrated defense, and they have the bravado of invincibility that comes with it. Plus, they have the coach. Seriously, Sean Payton seems like such a cool dude. That guy is straight baller. Now, I think the Falcons are a solid team and a team that has playoff aspirations (wild card, be it), and I think they will beat them in the return matchup at the Georgia Dome, but this is at the Superdome. The Superdome is a rocking place in a night game (much like the EddyJones dome used to be in the St Lizzle back in the day) and they will roll to 7-0.
Falcons 20 Saints 35 (NO)
Last Week: 6-7
Season: 61-42
