Big week here, big week. Some nice games. Favre has to play a meaningful outdoor game, the NFL continues to try to kill the sport in England (my guess is making up a game and calling it "football" is enough to kill the sport in England). Here we go:
San Diego (-4.5) @ Kansas City
San Diego really is not any good. They were playing for their pathetic lives last week, and played with perfect SoCal easiness. I'm not sure they even know what standings are. Either that, or they buy into the eternal crap about this being the "most talented team in football" and that has gone to their heads. Or maybe its just this: LT is old, slow, not explosive and hallucinatory. Every year for the past couple he does the same "I'm not old, just watch I'm back this year" routine in preseason. Then fools like Peter King believe him. Peter may be stupid, but I'm not. What is LT supposed to say? Is he actually going to admit that he is washed up? No, and I don't blame him. As long as his ruse can get him paid by the Chargers, I would not stop. As for the Cheifs, they are alive. That is enough for me to pick them (that, and the fact that they play the Chargers well every time) against a team that is emotionally dead.
Chargers 20 Kansas City 24 (KC)
San Francisco @ Houston (-3)
Ahh, my beloved Texans bandwagon. How empty you are. Even though Matt Schaub is quietly leading the NFL in TDs, Andre Johnson is continuing his man-beast routine and Steve Slaton continues... actually scratch that, Slaton is doing jackshit and that annoys the hell out of me and my fantasy team. What can I do but wait on him? Either way, they are better than a San Francisco team that is about two weeks from getting all the "Mike Singletary Pumped Up" juice out of their system. That rah-rah stuff can only work for so long. In semi-related news, Michael Crabtree is finally playing. Thank God, we can all go back to worshipping this cretin. He's not that good. He played in a shutgun-spread. I could put up 80 catches in a shutgun-spread. Heck, Swath (for those who don't know who or what that is, don't worry, there's no need to) could put up 50. He's a diva that ranks up there with anyone. At least guys like TO and Moss and Ocho show up and play as rookies. God knows what Crabtree has been doing the last two months. Here's my guess: stuck in the bathroom looking at a mirror to see his beautiful self and stuffing himself with Pie. It shows you how average the Niners are that they are starting a guy that just shows up to the team two weeks ago.
49ers 14 Texans 31 (HOU)
New England @ Tampa Bay (-14.5)
Once again, I was not impressed by that 59-0 win. And neither will I be when they inevitably win this one 45-3. These are two of the worst teams that are in this league, and now I'm suddenly supposed to believe the Pats are back. Nope, not buying it. In fact, fuck logic. I like doing random picks, and I have been on a pretty good roll so far, so I will go against all convention and all sane forms of thinking and pick the Bucs to cover. I mean, this is a home game for them. Also, the thought of a team called the Patriots playing in our old owner's land, there is some bad karma there. Call it the revenge of King George II.
Patriots 34 Buccaneers 24 (TB)
Indianapolis (-13) @ St. Louis
I love the Colts, and I try to watch as much of all their games as humanly possible, and I have no intent on watching this game. What is the point? It is a damned if you do damned if you don't situation. If they lay the hammer down and win 41-10, then that is what they are supposed to do. If the Rams come out and play inspired and the Colts win 31-17, then everyone will bash the Colts. Precendent says that the Colts don't like to Pat-it-up (my twist on run-it-up) and win games 52-7, but really, this is a new Manning and a new team. This Colts defense is one of the top-5 defense in the NFL. There are not many great defenses this year (I mean Baltimore's D is as strong as a piece of paper) and the Colts are one of the few. Bob Sanders is back (for now) and the defense will play even more amped up than usual and that will translate to a semi-patting-it-up. I know none of that made sense, but I have nothing to say about a game that does not interest me. I'm in preseason mode for this one - just no one get hurt.
Colts 38 Rams 10 (IND)
Minnesota @ Pittsburgh (-4)
Favre is 40 years old. Pittsburgh is slated for mid-50's. Now that may seem like a fine temperature, but when you are 40 (that's in football years, which is like 96 in human years) and have been playing in a climate-controlled dome all year long, then mid-50's is the equivalent of playing inside a snowman. Not good. The Steelers are the only team that has a chance to have a dominant defense this year (other than the Colts :)!!!) and it starts now that Troy is back and that defense is playing better. They have allowed 20 points on defense the last two weeks and Harrison and Woodley have finally been alerted that real football is in fact being played currently. Ben is throwing for 300 yards a game right now, and the Vikings were shredded a week ago by a lesser QB and lesser targets. Santonio will have a big day. The key is Peterson. The Steelers can win this game even if Peterson goes off, but if they shut down AD, they are back for real. Either way, this is the day we see the defending champs in their true ugly colors for real.
Vikings 14 Steelers 27 (PIT)
Green Bay (-7) @ Cleveland
That is a scary line for a team that has a tendency of playing down to their opponent at times, and the Browns have not exactly been all that bad recently. However, and this is not exactly a new theory, with all the really shitty teams this year that the crowds in these buildings are bad. Even in Cleveland where their fans are the fan equivalent of people locked in a insane asylum, their crowds are not that good. That's why their only win was in Buffalo (and why Buffalo won in New York and so on). It may make sense to me and me only, but that's all I need. I really don't want to pick Green Bay, but I cannot pick a team that has a coach who is fatter than their O-Line combined. That's one of my rules in life. When a head coach starts pushing 400 lbs, that's it for that team.
Packers 34 Browns 14 (GB)
Buffalo @ Carolina (-7)
I'm pulling a classic John Kerry here with Carolina. I'm waffling on them again. At first, even after that horrendous opening game, I believed in this team. Then, I totally did what every Carolina fan did, became convinced that Jake Delhomme would drag this team down into his own pile of sewage. Now, I am convinced that this team will not be all that bad. Now, I'm not saying that they will suddenly storm back and win this division, but I just don't think the wildcard is out of reach. Now, Jake Delhomme has all the ability in the world to put it way, way, way out of reach, but I, as stunningly stupid as this may seem, trust him enough to pull a Kyle Orton the next 11 games. This team will be heard from again. As for Buffalo, they will not. Dick Jauron is the anti-Mangini. I think that Eric is sapping the life out of Dick Jauron every day and consuming said life, converting into food and feasting on it. Mangini get fatter and Jauron gets more gangrenous and lifeless every day. Its uncanny. The other theory to Jauron's ability to not move, talk or breathe may be that TO killed him, and they stuffed him up and propped him up on the sidelines every week.
Bills 10 Panthers 27 (CAR)
New York (a) (-6) @ Oakland
Is it really wise to give the Jets 6 points on the road when their QB has been underperforming JaMarcus Russell the last few weeks. Honestly, I have seen my fair share of bad QB play over the years (JaMarcus, Marques Tuaisosopo, Andrew Walter, Everything that Peyton Manning does but only opposite), but I don't think I have seen anything as miserable as Sanchez last week. I simply cannot trust him to go into a semi-tough place to play. Oakland is, at least for them, on a roll. They played inspired defense, and they only need to play semi-inspired defense to own Mark Sanchez. It will happen. JaMarcus will probably be confused to death by Rex Ryan's schemes (mainly becuase JaMarcus seems to have the IQ of a sofa), but I think he can have a better game than the Sanchize.
Jets 13 Raiders 20 (OAK)
Chicago @ Cincinnatti (-1.5)
This is the underrated game of the week. Both of these teams are in that, semi-contender that loses to every good team they play and beats every bad one. It is always interesting when those type of teams play each other (like CHI-ATL last week). So I go with who needs this more. Quietly, Pittsburgh has won 3 in a row, and that much bally-hooed Bengals resurgence and leading the AFC North is over. They will be hungry in many ways. Chad and Ocho are primed to start their yearly dominance month and that defense will want to prove it is for real even without Antwan Odom (which they probably are not, but can be for a week). Chicago is a good team, and a team that will challenge for the WC, and maybe the division if the Favre from 2008 returns as I think he will eventually. However, they just do not need this game the way Cincy does.
Bears 20 Bengals 28 (CIN)
Atlanta @ Dallas (-4)
Why the hell is Dallas favored at all (let alone the ludicrous 4)? Why would anyone think Dallas is better than Atlanta? Sure, Dallas is at home, but its not like they have been lights out at home (lost to NYG, looked like a San Diego look-a-like against Carolina), and barely beat KC the other day. They are just not that good, and Atlanta is a legitimate top-10 team. I thought they would take a step back, and I was wrong. I really don't know how they do it, becuase I feel that Matt Ryan and Michael Turner are both overrated, but they get the job done. On the other hand, I know how Dallas does not do it, becuase Tony Romo is the most overrated athlete since Jeter, and they do not get the job done. For example, the last time they played in a big do-or-die game, they lost 44-6.
Falcons 31 Cowboys 23 (ATL)
New Orleans (-6.5) @ Miami
This is also an underrated game, and this is my upset of the week. Miami has the team that can beat New Orleans. The Saints are a slightly different version of Indy, and Miami played Indy better than anyone else has so far, and that was before they upgraded Chads. Chad Henne is in for a bit of a fall, but not at home (somehow his first three starts were at home, lucky guy), and that Wildcat can do wonders against a overly-aggresive team. Miami is just a fun team to watch eversince they took the Wildcat to the next level and ever since they started playing a QB that can throw an out. New Orleans is the best team in the NFL, but they are not going undefeated and this is the type of game, with Atlanta looming next week, that they may take a little bit off, especially since it is an interconference game (just like Atlanta did when they went to New England). I really hope that I am right, becuase I really want this Miami story to continue. I, like Jon Gruden, cannot get enough Wildcat.
Saints 24 Dolphins 27 (MIA)
Arizona @ New York (n) (-7)
I still think the Cards win that division, but New York better win this game, or no one will ever take them seriously. They were simply outclassed last week, and it showed. They looked like a team that had no intention of even trying to stop Drew Brees. Now, Kurt Warner can do a similar thing, but the Giants, as we know from Super Bowl XLII, are a prideful bunch. They are a mouthy bunch, but they usually play with a swagger too (god knows what happened last week with that Swagger). If these are the real Giants, they blow the Cards out. The Cardinals are a good team, but I think they are not quite at that Giants level, at least not now and not in New York. The only thing I can think of is that with the Yankees playing potentially Game 6 or 7 at the same time, then the atmosphere will not be true Giants Stadium in the night.
Cardinals 20 Giants 31 (NYG)
Philadelphia (-7) @ Washington
Well, Philly is a lot better than Washington. On paper, they are at least 13 points better. However, since this Philly team evidently loves making people believe that they are overrated and that Donovan McNabb needs to go. Honestly, they are a bizarro version of San Diego. Both teams are really really schizophrenic. They can both win games any week and lose games. But Philly seems to only rise up for big games, while the Chargers like to tape thier dicks behing their balls and pretend to be women rather than man up and play a real team. Anyway, enough Chargers bashing. Philly right now is at a stage where they actively try to get Donovan McNabb killed.
Eagles 20 Redskins 16 (WAS)
Enjoy the games!!!
Last Week: 10-4
Season: 55-35
