Back in May, I lyricalized Peyton Manning's brilliance to the soothing words of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady." Well, I'm back motherfuckers, to steal some more lyrics and get this shit done. Today, children, my subject to fuck with will be good old Josh "McNasty" McDaniels, the 34 year old pile of shit, who decided to go on an all-time powertrip and fuck up one of the more storied franchises in the history of the NFL. Before we start with the ebonic homage to McDaniels work, let's have a quick reminder of what that work is:
Part 1: The Jay Cutler fuck-up.
Jay Cutler is a good quarterback, and he would have thrived in McDaniels offense. McDaniels decided he wanted to bring in Matt Cassel, basically to flaunt his own brilliance, which understandably alienated Cutler. McDaniels ended up trading Jay Cutler to Chicago for the Bears 1st and 3rd round picks in the 2009 draft, and their first round pick in the 2010 draft. This is what McDaniels has gotten from those draft picks:
2009 1st round pick - used to select Robert Ayers, a DE who has 1.5 sacks in 1.5 years.
2009 3rd round pick - traded to Pittsburgh (who used it to select Mike Wallace) along with the Broncos 4th round pick for the Steelers 2nd round pick, which the Broncos used to select Richard Quinn, a tight end who has yet to catch a pass.
2010 1st round pick - was traded to Seattle for Seattle's second round pick in the 2009 draft, which was used to select cornerback Alphonso Smith, who after just one year, was traded to Detroit for a 6th round pick, and in Detroit Smith immediately went on to intercept two passes in his first two games. And that 2010 1st rounder; it ended up being the 14th pick in the draft, which Seattle used to pick Earl Thomas, who already has 4 interceptions.
To Recap, here is what McDaniels got for Jay Cutler: Richard Quinn, a tight end who has done nothing, Robert Ayers, a player who gets one sack a year, and a 6th round pick. Well done, sir, well done.
Part 2: Everything else.
He traded Brandon Marshall for a 2nd round pick in 2010 and 2011. The 2010 pick was packaged with many others to obtain Baltimore's first round pick, which was used to select Tim Tebow. Brandon Marshall, who is just 26, is on pace for 112 catches and 1400 yards, while Tim Tebow has rushed 8 times for 25 yards.
He traded Tony Scheffler, a young good tight end, to Detroit in a three team trade, where he obtained a 5th round pick used to select Perrish Cox, who has played average in a nickel situations.
He fired Mike Nolan, who's defense was primarily responsible for having them near .500, including their surprising 6-0 start. Denver's defense is hellish now, while Mike Nolan is doing yoeman's work in Miami.
McDaniels is 0-4 lifetime at home in the division, losing to San Diego last year 32-3 at home, losing to Kansas City last year 44-20 at home, and the capper, losing last week to Oakland 59-14. It gets worse. He's 4-13 in his last 17 games, and has been outscored 457-331. Oh yeah, that 59-14 loss, that was the worst loss in a home game in Broncos history. He's also 1-7 in his last 8 home games. He's been a disaster, and I really think that someone is going to have to clean up his mess. Pat Bowlen probably curses himself every day for handing the keys to Broncos nation to this arrogant, clown.
That's the intro, now comes the rap. Before I start, here's a preview of the song:
Fuck Wit Dre Day - Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg
Coming up next, the rap!
