- Now that he's not my state's leader: Fuck You, Jon Corzine. Thank the Lord that that schmuck is no longer running New Jersey. Chris Christie seems like an ignorant fat poon, but at least he's not Corzine
- I hate the Yankees, but I am kind of happy that they won. For one, did we really need the Phillies to get another title, and also, because I like the world better when Red Sox fans shut up, and now they will. At least Yankee fans know how to deal with success
- This is why magazines will eventually run out of business. Sports Illustrated is a magazine I cannot live without. It prints on Tuesday. The cover story is about how great the World Series is. I get it today, and the series is already over. Just a waste of ink.
- I want Josh McDaniels to give America (and especially me) the finger. I don't think enough is being said about Denver. No one in America picked them to be any good. NO ONE. He's 6-1. If I were him, I would run around nude, screaming "Fuck You, Peter King" at the top of my lungs while miming jizzing on King's face.
- Brett Favre is an idiot. He really expected the Packer fans to cheer him?? Your Benedict Arnold. You are the best example of sports traitorism ever. Packer fans will move on. They will win more Super Bowls, you will not.
- I hope to God Favre gets hurt again. Not seriously hurt, becuase wishing and hoping that is evil, but hurt enough to affect his play. I miss the Favre that needlessly threw up punts for guys to intercept.
- Texans fans are really annoying. They are taunting the shit out of Colts fans on the Colts blog I frequent (stampedeblue). It is hilarious. Its like they finally grew pubic hair, and decide that they want to fight Burt Reynolds. Quiet down, boys. We are 13-1 lifetime against you.
- Being a Colts/Raiders mormon is interesting. Watching Peyton Manning and then JaMarcus Russell is the NFL QB equivalent of having sex with Kate Beckinsale and then fucking Rosie O'Donnell. But only if O'Donnell was eating a ham sandwhich.
- College Football is rigged. No one cares that Florida is suspending their LB for one game after he openly tried to gouge out an opponents eyes. I'm pretty sure Tim Tebow could mass murder the whole staff at Magic Kingdom and he would only get a one-play suspension.
- Is it weird that I really want the Cowboys to make the playoffs for the sole reason to see Romo choke again? I mean, it can't be a choke if he doesn't even make it.
- Is it weird that my team is 7-0, has the best combination of offense and defense in the NFL, has a QB that is playing at a level only seen on Madden and I still hate the Pats more than ever? Seriously, I need help to combat this. I hate them too much. I honestly want to assassinate Bill Belichick (in my mind, of course).
- I'm pretty sure that you just look at Tom Cable and make out that he is a serial woman abuser. I mean, look at him. He looks like he knows what the inside of a cell looks like.
- Now there are reports that Anthony Gonzalez might have a torn PCL. He has not played since Week 1, since he injured it and it was initally called a sprain. Now, all I know about a PCL is how to spell it, but I'm pretty sure I can make out if it is torn or not.
- Why does Hedeki Matsui need a translator? He has lived here for seven years now, and is surrounded by people who speak English all the time. Honestly, and I thought Japanese people were smart.
- Why would I rather be with Lynette Scavo on Desperate Housewives than any of the other three when she is at face value the least attractive. I mean, Eva Longoria is what makes Tony Parker easily the best basketball player, and Teri Hatcher defines MILF, and Marcia Cross is a redhead (and they are WILD), but fucking Felicity Huffman just does it for me.
- Speaking of redheads (or in this case former redheads), Alyson Hannigan just continues to get better looking as time goes on. I would not mind sticking my flute in her pussy, if you know what I mean.
- Back to football, becuase I am coming across a little to perverse, how much longer can Cedric Benson keep this up. I mean, the guy is Cedric Benson. He's awful. He is. I just know it.
- Speaking of which, how much longer can Steve Slaton continue to suck. My fantasy teams have been ruined by him and Joseph Addai. Thanks alot, fellas. Steve Slaton can go off the deep end and dissapear for 10 weeks, and I think I would not even notice his loss. Why? because I got Ryan Fucking Moats, that's why!
- Is there any coach/qb combo more underrated than Reid/McNabb. They have been doing it for 10 years now. That is impressive, especially when you consider that Andy Reid eats timeouts (literally, as in he glazes them with BBQ sauce and chomps those timeouts down) and McNabb has been throwing to random hoodrats for the past decade.
- If I said that when Carolina met Arizona at the start of the year, and one QB would throw 5 picks and fumble and that man would not be Jake Delhomme, how quickly do you think people would laugh at me.
- Why does being an NFL coach look like such a cool job? Honestly, after Chuck Norris and the Dos Equis guy, Mike Tomlin and Sean Payton are easily the most interesting, coolest men in the world.
- I really cannot wait for the tell-all Pats book that will come out in 15 or so years. I just can't wait to hear the truth about Spygate, and the more underrated VoiceConnectionCommunicationGate (where in Foxboro the coach-QB communication would mysteriously backfire during crucial downs).
- Speaking of tell-all books, Andre Agassi did not shock anyone with the meth thing. I mean, if you look at his hair from the early 90's, you just know he was hiding needles underneath that wig.
- Am I the only one who would ever think that Tom Brady picked the wrong girl, and that Bridget Moynahan is better looking than Gisele??? Also, it is a little emasculating when you are a three time super bowl winner and a guy that gets tons of money from Stetson cologne commercials and you are still the poorer person in the relationship. By far.
- Jon Gruden. Please never coach again. You are brilliant on MNF, and make it the first truly entertaining broadcast since ESPN Sunday Night Football had the Joe Theismann, Mike Patrick and Paul Maguire threesome. They were brilliantly stupid and hilariously dumb.
- Dan Snyder really needs his own mustache and flag. At least then he would look as tyrannical as he is.
- Football will never work in Jacksonville. Never. Cut your losses and leave, but don't go to LA. LA does not give a shit about sports. Go to Portland. This is my realignment. Portland goes into NFC West. Rams goes to AFC South.
- I never want a college football playoff. If we had one, I would not give two shits about the regular season. And also, if there was a playoffs, what would all the Tebow/Meyer-dick-sucking refs do for money?
- I do, however want a college basketball playoff. College basketball season is almost upon us. Thank god, becuase I am so sick of only having one college sport to barely follow.
- Last one, predictions for MLB 2010: Matsui leaves the Yankees replaced by Matt Holliday. CC Sabathia crosses the 400 lb platuea. Red Sox reclaim the division. Texas Rangers make playoffs. Astros shock world and make playoffs. Dodgers play Red Sox in WS. Manny gets confused and tries to play for both teams after tearing up when he sees Papi. Dodgers win series and Torre gives a teary speech, which when translated into normal not Torre-Classy speech is roughly the equivalent of "Fuck You George Steinbrenner and your Band of Mercenaries"
Picks tomorrow.
