1.) 8-2 so far. Hell yeah!! That is picking. Now, if I were only 21 and "restricting" myself to the confines of Las Vegas, I would be rolling around in that 300,000 Maybach Diddy's 16 year-old just got.
2.) I went to Subway, and was victimized by the horrible trend that has entered the Subway sector. I had two seperate people make the Sub, with the first putting in the meat, cheese and putting said Sub in the toaster, and then the other taking it out of the toaster, and adding the vegetables/sauce. Now, this seems normal, but I am always (and by always I mean roughly 99.999999% of the time) subjected to some lazy slob shitbrain to tend to the second half. This makes no sense. Like today, I had a A Class Subway Sub-Maker for that first half, and a sneezing, snivelling Latino for that second half (I mention the Latino part becuase I always feel awkward saying Jalepeno in front of them, like I'm doing some subtle joke at their heritage). The first part is the easy part, and if snivvellus manages to get some nasal fluids on the sub, the toaster will burn those little bacteriums away. Then, the second half is complicated, especially the folding and cutting. I want the pro for that half. Anyway, in conclusion, the Subway on 8th gets a mega Sub Fail.
3.) I fucking HATE Roger Goodell, the NFL commisionner. Hate him with every platelete of my blood-curling body. He hits every nerve that I contain (and even the nerves I am yet to contain). He has had this job for nearly four years now, and has done nothing to put the league in a better state than Paul Tagliabue. Under Tagliabue, there was not one labor strife, no lockouts or strikes or replacement players. Nothing but peace. Under Tagliabue, the league's revenues increased tenfold, and football cemented itself as America's true past-time (other than doughnuts). Under Goodell, the league has foolishly tried to expand to 18 games, move teams to LA and try to get Londoners to love the NFL. To put it into perspective, there is a better chance that I have a one night stand with Alyson Hannigan (yes, the "Band Camp" one) than there is of football catching on in Europe. Goodell's 18 games idea is even worse. 16 games is perfect, its a square-number for fucks sake. No one wants 18 games but greedy billionaire owner. Sure, let's appease them at the expense of our product. Finally, it's his idea of incentivitizing playing starters in meaningless games that ended it for me. How is this a good idea? First, say teams comply with this Stalinist measure, then what, you are rewarding teams GOOD enough to rest starters with extra picks. Making the rich teams richer? Great idea. Then, this year, when the Colts "pissed in the face of History" as many a sportswriter labelled it, and the Saints rested their way to three straight losses, each team took heat, and blasted back by going to the Super Bowls. It will never happen, but either way Goodell will think of another brilliant idea to fuck up the NFL.
4.) This is why the media sucks at actually reporting what happens, and goes mercilessly for stories:
- Momentum Matters. This was the big theme entering the playoffs. The Colts rested, the Saints rested, the Vikings were 2-3 down the stretch. Those teams won their first playoff game by a combined 99-20. The Cowboys, Jets and Patriots didn't rest and are no longer playing. The Cardinals rested and then beat the same team the just rested to. Momentum matters as much as the fatness ratio of their o-lineman. Actually, that probably matters more.
- The Chargers: 8 of SI's "experts" picked the playoffs at the start. 7 of them had the Chargers going to the Super Bowl, including lead experts Peter King, Don Banks and Ross Tucker. They were the team that couldn't lose, even though they had so many discernable flaws. They were the team that blinded the media with Phil River's fount of youth deathstare. Somehow, everyone forgot that they are perennial playoff chokers, and except for lucky, close wins over the Colts, had done nothing in the playoffs. The, as I expected, flamed out in their first game to the Jets.
- Home-Field doesn't matter, especiall in domes. Record of home teams not in domes: 0-3 (Jets over Bengals, Ravens over Pats, Jets over Chargers). Record of home teams in domes: 7-0 (Boys over Birds, Cards over Cheese, Colts over Ray's, Vikes over Boys, Saints over Cards, Colts over Rex's, Saints over Favres). Dome's are, if anything, more important in these days where outside of a select few venues (Baltimore, Seattle) home crowds in outdoor places are utter crap. Go Dome or Go.... build a Dome (I would never say "Home" there)
Player of the Week - Pierre Garcon, WR Indianapolis
Believe me, I wanted to put Peyton here, but one Peyton gushing article is enough for one week. Let's celebrate the Haitian Frenchy Garcon (all Colts fans call him Frenchy, because his name is French. This is in NO WAY a dig at his Haitian roots as some stupid Jets fan claimed on the Colts blog 18to88.com). First, he is playing for Haiti, motivated to succeed by the very disaster that took so many of his bretheren's lives. It truly is tragic what happened in Haiti, and Garcon playing well does by no means diminish the problems still going on there, but makes what Garcon is doing so much more special. Here is a guy who already had the pressure of a fanbase and the legend of Marvin to live up to. True, Marvin Harrison was not great in the playoffs, but he was the most beloved Colt not named Peyton. It was essentially Garcon's job to replace him. In the biggest game in the history of Lucas Oil Stadium, the stadium that Peyton and Marvin built, Garcon played a game that would make Marvin proud. He made sick catch after sick catch. Sure, the throws were perfect, but that still does not make the catches easy. Frenchy had guys draped all over him, and caught the ball with a Marvinian-authority. Finally, the shot of Frenchy holding up the Haitian flag and draping it over the Lamar Hunt trophy nearly ended my no-cry new year's resolution. This man will never be Marvin, and that is a standard that no one should be responsible to uphold. However, for one night, he was out there, contorting himself, nabbing passes out of the air with ease. Frenchy, we all adore you.
Goat of The Week - Rex Ryan, HC NYJ
Yup, the Vikings deserve an entire section just for themselves. Rex Ryan talked all week, saying he had blitzes that "Manning has never seen in his life." When asked what they would do when the Colts went to three-wide, he said "Manning will sit on the ground." Rex Ryan was admittedly gracious in defeat, but what other choice did he had. He called the Jets the favorite in the whole tournament. He scheduled the parade down the canyon of heroes before it started. He even had the gall to say the Colts "disrespected" the Jets by pulling their starters in the Week 16 game, even though if the Colts did not pull those starters, the Jets would have been golfing three weeks ago. Rex Ryan threw blitz after blitz at Manning, and Manning, save for the first two drives, handled them all perfectly. Manning was amazing, just holding Ryan up by the ankles and beating his face repeatedly. To see Ryan helpless and fuming on the sidelines after talking smack to a team that had yet to lose gave him an automatic berth into this category.
Surprise of the Week - Tracy Porter, CB Saints
People might not know, but Jabari Greer is as shut-down a corner as it gets (Revis included), which means that the Tracy Porter side of the field is often targeted. Bernard Berrian played well, but Porter forced two fumbles and was able to make the interception that allowed the media to call Brett Favre out as the playoff choker he so very much is. Trace Porter perfectly caused that fumble, punching it out with perfect form. That saved at least a field goal. I figured Jabari Greer would be able to slow down Sidney Rice or Harvin or whoever was put on that side of the field. I never expected Tracy Porter to play that well. My Player of the Week will have a hard time beating the Surprise of the Week in Miami.
Dissapointment of the Week - Jet's Running Game
Number one in the NFL? They were supposed to run all over the Colts "undersized" o-line. The Colts could stop the Ravens, becuase Ray Rice was "shifty" and "finesse" not "power" like the Jets. So, the Jets ran for 86 yards, exactly half of their yearly average. And even before he got injured, Shonn Greene had only 41 yards in 10 carries. Not terrible, but not dominant as every J-E-T-S fan was so assured would happen. Maybe, just maybe, the Colts are much better at stopping the run when they want to, but for a team that talks as much as they do, they ran awfully.
Team Performance of the Week - Indianapolis Colts Offense
Jets Total Defense: 250.2 yards per game. Colts: 461 yards.
Jets Pass Defense: 167.3 yards per game. Colts: 360 yards.
Jets Scoring Defense: 14.9 ppg. Colts: 30.
Colts Rushing: 78.3 ypg. Colts on Sunday: 101 yards.
The Colts played like the offense that set the league on fire from 2003-2007. They were not exactly as dominant in many parts of this year, but they were vintage on Sunday, against the league's best defense just to add an extra level of brilliance. I have never seen them better against a defense that good. There is something that makes me sad, as I may never see the Colts offense play that well again. However, even if I don't, I will always have this game to turn back to.
Team Laydown of the Week - Minnesota Vikings Ability to Hold Onto Ball
Honestly, the Vikings were the better team. They outgained, outrushed, outpassed and outsacked the Saints. They were the better team in every conceivable way. However, they seemed to play the game with goo-gone on their gloves. Peterson fumbles more than the Raiders' coaches attack women, so that was no surprise. But it got comical, with Favre fumbling an exchange, then throwing two inconsciable interceptions. Berrian fumbled, and Harvin fumbled on an already terrible end-around. If the Vikings just decided to not fumble, and ran normal plays, they would have won by 30. They were dominant, yet the Saints just never went away. Anyway, in the end of the day, the team that deserved to go to Miami is going home, and Favre ended another NFC Title Game with another interception. After it ended, the joy in the Bayou was enough to forget just how much the Vikings did to lose the game, but they did. The Vikings deserve to be playing the Colts, but the football Gods shined on the team that ethically deserved to. Than (football) God for that.
Special Image to Remember this Weekend!!
