I already ranked who I think the best teams will be, but who are the teams most worth watching. Who are the teams that maybe if they aren't the best, should be the one's you check in every now and then - maybe more than their record or pedigree would usually merit. Take for example in 2014. The Colts were a very good team, if a little boring. The Falcons were bad, but played in a bunch of close games. This is my ranking of, assuming normal health, the NFL teams listed by my expected watchability.
Tier 1 - Aggressively Boring, Sad Teams
32.) Cleveland Browns
I guess you can say with Manziel they should be a little higher, but it seems like Manziel is a disaster, their offense is so pedestrain, especially after losing Kyle Shanahan, and their defense, while fun, lacks the names to make you really care. Also, it is just depressing watching Cleveland get depressed. Some day, the Browns will have a great 4-5 year period that will be so fun, but that is a long time away.
31.) Jacksonville Jaguars
Pretty much everything I wrote about the Browns applies here, except Bortles may not be a disaster. That said, losing Dexter Fowler Jr., hurts, and it is still effing Jacksonville. They were barely fun to watch when they were 11-5 in '07, and they were easily the least interesting 12-4 team in my lifetime in 2005 (I still am taken aback they won 12 games that year).
30.) San Francisco 49ers
They would be higher up in the ranking of 'intriguing-ness', but this isn't. Watching the 49ers was hard to do late last year, and that was with half the team still there. Watching this team try to be a sad imitation of the '11-'13 49ers without the fun parts (the Smiths, Willis, Harbaugh) will just be a very depressing experience. It should not have ended this way. Maybe leaving Candlestick cursed them?
29.) Chicago Bears
Jay Cutler doesn't care, and neither do I. I've been fooled too many times by them; and now there's no joy in watching the Bears defense like there was for so many years during the Lovie era. Let's just move on.
28.) Cincinnati Bengals
The Bengals were briefly a really fun team to watch in 2013; they were really good the first half of that season, and had random 40-point outbursts. Then they lost a pathetic game to the Chargers in the Wild Card round, and sleep-walked through a 10-5-1 season (odd, I know), and lost ANOTHER wild card game, and I'm pretty much done with a team that defines being mediocre enough at being good.
27.) Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs are another team that kind of peaked in excitement in 2013, when their Alex Smith-led offense was so good early, and the duo of Hali and Housotn were destroying worlds. At this point, the only two reasons to watch the Chiefs are to see Eric Berry play after beating cancer, and to see if Alex Smith can finally throw a TD to a WR. Maybe a 3rd if you count watching Justin Houston play.
Tier II - Just Plain Ol' Boring Teams
26.) Washington Redskins
Again, RGIII is intriguing, but also really depressing. I never fully enjoyed Griffin-mania in 2012 because I thought he was unfairly being put over Andrew Luck. I really should have because he will probably never approach THAT again. Also Jay Gruden brought the boring offense with him from Cincinnati, which was nice.
25.) Oakland Raiders
The Raiders have a handful of exciting players, like Amari Cooper (I don't like buying into camp and preseason reports, but my God), Latavious Murray, Derek Carr and the great Khalil Mack, but that still leaves 15 or so boring starters. Also, that crowd will be terse all year knowing that they are likely leaving town very, very soon,
24.) Atlanta Falcons
The Falcons are inherently boring; hell they were boring at 13-3 in 2010 and 2012. Julio Jones is amazing, but he'll only be involved in ~10 plays a game. I'm not really buying that defense yet - the last DC from Seattle to skip town didn't exactly light the world on fire. This may be really wrong, but I'm not so sure yet.
23.) Houston Texans
The Texans have the best player in the NFL. JJ Watt is worth the price of admission. He's a college course in defensive football. Jadeveon Clowney may be close to that as well. DeAndre Hopkins is insane. Take those three away, and they are the Jaguars. Plus, they're starting Brian Hoyer, maybe the most unwatchable competent QB in the NFL
Tier III - Somewhat Interesting Teams
22.) New York Jets
The Jets offense may be a competent bore with Ryan Fitzpatrick leading the charge, but that's better than covering your eyes when Geno Smith is back there. The defense has a dominant front, and a coach who loves crazy, insane secondary blitzes. That defense is eminently watchable, but my concern is with the incredible talent up front, Todd Bowles may dial it back as blitzing all game long won't be as necessary anymore.
21.) Detroit Lions
The Lions at their best are really watchable. That offense can be dynamic, especially with Golden Tate fitting in so well aside Megatron. The defense is still very talented, and I've always loved watching Haloti Ngata. That all said, at their worst they are really boring. Plus... Jim Caldwell.
20.) New Orleans Saints
I think the NFL community has basically left Rob Ryan train station at this point; he's crazy but he's more watchable for the 3-5 times he does something insane on the sideline than for his defense. The offense is always fun, but it is as intriguing this year as they basically went all in on Brees and a bunch of nobodies (Nick Toon!!).
19.) New York Giants
Odell Beckham Jr., why even explain it beyond that? Oh, they also may feature a 4-fingered Jason Pierre-Paul at some point. And I don't know how many years we'll get to see Tom Coughlin again.
18.) Miami Dolphins
I'm really excited to see this offense. The line is very average (which is fun to watch, some times), but I really like watching Jarvis Landry and Jordan Cameron, and I like the Kenny Stills signing. Yes, this is putting a lot of faith in Ryan Tannehill, but even he's more exciting than the normal 15th best QB in the NFL.
17.) Minnesota Vikings
There's a lot to look out for here. Teddy Bridgewater in year two. The second year of Mike Zimmer's defense with all that talent on that side of the ball. Also it is the last year to see them outside before they move back in a dome next year. Then again, they also have two of the more depressing ex-exciting players in Peterson and Mike Wallace.
Tier IV - The League's Best Unknowns
16.) Philadelphia Eagles
There are a lot of teams in the NFL I find really watchable, and from here on out I could watch these teams play anyone. The Eagles might be the biggest mystery. Can Chip Kelly's offense work without WRs? Is Demarco Murray going to be the next victim of the Curse of 370? Does it matter that every pro bowl player from 2012 on offense is now gone? Can Sam Bradford stay healthy? All that intrigue, but there's also a chance all of it goes to hell and it becomes a disaster.
15.) Buffalo Bills
Watching the Rex Ryan Bills defense will be worth all prices of all admissions. Rex Ryan has never had this type of front. They were dominant and a great watch before Ryan got there. Now they get a mad genius at defense that has always had exciting defenses even with 50% as much talent. On the other side, it will be interesting watching Tyrod Taylor try to make hay with Sammy Watkins and LeSean McCoy. What's that? Matt Cassel may start?... Oh.
14.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers
13.) Tennessee Titans
This is the only time I'm grouping two teams together, and that is because the only reason to really watch them is the thing they share in common: their highly drafted rookie QB. Jamies Winston at his best was a fascinating watch in college, and he has some nice targets. For Mariota, there is the fun of watching him leave that type of offense in Oregon and try to make it work in the pros; also to see if he can fit in a Whisenhunt offense. Now, if they're both horrible this may be a terrible ranking, but I can't imagine them both being a Jamarcus type player.
Tier V - A Swimmingly Competent Watch
12.) San Diego Chargers
I should basically call them the San Diego Rivers, as watching Philip Rivers is what is ranking them this high. When he's on, like he was against Baltimore or Seattle last year, it is like watching a magician. He's a true savant at playing QB, and any chance to watch him get his groove on is worth a Sunday afternoon.
11.) St. Louis Rams
Chris Long - Michael Brockers - Nick Fairley - Aaron Donald - Robert Quinn. That is all.
10.) New England Patriots
Watching the Patriots is a weird existential exercise. I find myself asking things like "Is this real?", "Why can't we all just do this?", "What am I doing with my life?". It's an experience more than anything. I also find them the least enjoyable great offense of all time to watch. Of course, still being a great offense puts them up this list.
9.) Pittsburgh Steelers
The Steelers had a couple year period where they would have been up the list, but they're back to being great to watch. The defense is a disaster, though there is some delight in watching them finally be bad at defense, but watching Roethlisberger is an absolute delight - same with Antonio Brown. There's also still something nice about watching a game with that old-school, single-logo helmet on the side of his head.
8.) Carolina Panthers
Surprised? Obviously this is a biased opinion, but I love so much about watching the Panthers. Specifically that defense. Ron Rivera's defense may be one of the most entertaining in the NFL. They blitz like mad, but mostly with secondary players which is awesome. Then watching Luke Kuechly and Thomas Davis cover so much ground is staggering. Of course, watching Cam beg, borrow and steal his way to 20 points a game is a delight also. They have a distinct way of playing that just works so well.
Tier VI - Can't Turn my Eyes Away
7.) Indianapolis Colts
Watching Andrew Luck play is something amazing. He has 2-3 moments a game where he'll do something that no one else ever could do. The only thing close is watching Aaron Rodgers (hence, why that team is still to be listed). Also, watching those midgets run around the field (Hilton, Moncrief and now Dorsett) will be great also. But it all comes down to watching Mr. Luck.
6.) Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens are like watching a really well produced play. They have a particular set of skills and roles that they'll weave together perfectly. The offense built on motion, and roll-outs and players like Steve Smith and Justin Forsett. The defense that has held a lot of its creativity and strength and magnetism even without Ed Reed and Ray Lewis (Terrell Suggs helps), and finally coach Harbaugh is always good for a few great moments a game. Just a really well rehearsed, fun watch.
5.) Green Bay Packers
Just like Luck, Aaron Rodgers does some things that are just impossible. His connection to Nelson will be lost this year, but that may even make him try even harder and push his ability even more. The defense is fun to watch because Capers will try some interesting stuff, but this is mostly about Rodgers, as it only needs to be to still be this high.
4.) Arizona Cardinals
Through 11 games with Carson Palmer and Stanton, they were #1 last year on this by far. They played some great games, but had this awesome style. Mad blitzing on defense, with receivers left on islands all over the place (it worked better than that description would make you think). The offense is bombs away with Arians as their coach, with receivers to do it like Michael Floyd and the Browns (John and Jaron), and of course Fitz. Just an awesome watch that is far better than it has any right to be.
Tier VII - The Top of Watchability Mountain
3.) Dallas Cowboys
If you want to watch things that seemingly were left behind in 2000, like building the offense through a great o-line and building your defense to play Tampa-2 and force turnovers, the Cowboys are the team for you. However, what makes the Cowboys really special, though, is that they add to that Tony Romo, a pretty magnetic draw, and Dez Bryant.
2.) Seattle Seahawks
When I watch the Seahawks I start to wonder how any team is doing this on defense in 2014, and now 2015. Watching Sherman, Thomas, Wagner and (hopefully) Chancellor is the best defense experience in the current NFL. It will also be interesting to see if Russell Wilson will get better this year as a passer. Also, watching games in that bandbox in Seattle is always good times.
1.) Denver Broncos
Yes, it is biased to pick them at the top, but hear me out. With Wade Phillips coaching that defense they should be great. The Broncos play a really fun defense with tons of rushing and man coverage, a good combination. It will also be interesting to see Gary Kubiak's schemes mesh with Peyton's, Finally, this could be Peyton Manning's final year. Every pass of his should be cherished by any NFL fan as it may all be over for one of the all-time, all-time greats in 4 months.
Tier 1 - Aggressively Boring, Sad Teams
32.) Cleveland Browns
I guess you can say with Manziel they should be a little higher, but it seems like Manziel is a disaster, their offense is so pedestrain, especially after losing Kyle Shanahan, and their defense, while fun, lacks the names to make you really care. Also, it is just depressing watching Cleveland get depressed. Some day, the Browns will have a great 4-5 year period that will be so fun, but that is a long time away.
31.) Jacksonville Jaguars
Pretty much everything I wrote about the Browns applies here, except Bortles may not be a disaster. That said, losing Dexter Fowler Jr., hurts, and it is still effing Jacksonville. They were barely fun to watch when they were 11-5 in '07, and they were easily the least interesting 12-4 team in my lifetime in 2005 (I still am taken aback they won 12 games that year).
30.) San Francisco 49ers
They would be higher up in the ranking of 'intriguing-ness', but this isn't. Watching the 49ers was hard to do late last year, and that was with half the team still there. Watching this team try to be a sad imitation of the '11-'13 49ers without the fun parts (the Smiths, Willis, Harbaugh) will just be a very depressing experience. It should not have ended this way. Maybe leaving Candlestick cursed them?
29.) Chicago Bears
Jay Cutler doesn't care, and neither do I. I've been fooled too many times by them; and now there's no joy in watching the Bears defense like there was for so many years during the Lovie era. Let's just move on.
28.) Cincinnati Bengals
The Bengals were briefly a really fun team to watch in 2013; they were really good the first half of that season, and had random 40-point outbursts. Then they lost a pathetic game to the Chargers in the Wild Card round, and sleep-walked through a 10-5-1 season (odd, I know), and lost ANOTHER wild card game, and I'm pretty much done with a team that defines being mediocre enough at being good.
27.) Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs are another team that kind of peaked in excitement in 2013, when their Alex Smith-led offense was so good early, and the duo of Hali and Housotn were destroying worlds. At this point, the only two reasons to watch the Chiefs are to see Eric Berry play after beating cancer, and to see if Alex Smith can finally throw a TD to a WR. Maybe a 3rd if you count watching Justin Houston play.
Tier II - Just Plain Ol' Boring Teams
26.) Washington Redskins
Again, RGIII is intriguing, but also really depressing. I never fully enjoyed Griffin-mania in 2012 because I thought he was unfairly being put over Andrew Luck. I really should have because he will probably never approach THAT again. Also Jay Gruden brought the boring offense with him from Cincinnati, which was nice.
25.) Oakland Raiders
The Raiders have a handful of exciting players, like Amari Cooper (I don't like buying into camp and preseason reports, but my God), Latavious Murray, Derek Carr and the great Khalil Mack, but that still leaves 15 or so boring starters. Also, that crowd will be terse all year knowing that they are likely leaving town very, very soon,
24.) Atlanta Falcons
The Falcons are inherently boring; hell they were boring at 13-3 in 2010 and 2012. Julio Jones is amazing, but he'll only be involved in ~10 plays a game. I'm not really buying that defense yet - the last DC from Seattle to skip town didn't exactly light the world on fire. This may be really wrong, but I'm not so sure yet.
23.) Houston Texans
The Texans have the best player in the NFL. JJ Watt is worth the price of admission. He's a college course in defensive football. Jadeveon Clowney may be close to that as well. DeAndre Hopkins is insane. Take those three away, and they are the Jaguars. Plus, they're starting Brian Hoyer, maybe the most unwatchable competent QB in the NFL
Tier III - Somewhat Interesting Teams
22.) New York Jets
The Jets offense may be a competent bore with Ryan Fitzpatrick leading the charge, but that's better than covering your eyes when Geno Smith is back there. The defense has a dominant front, and a coach who loves crazy, insane secondary blitzes. That defense is eminently watchable, but my concern is with the incredible talent up front, Todd Bowles may dial it back as blitzing all game long won't be as necessary anymore.
21.) Detroit Lions
The Lions at their best are really watchable. That offense can be dynamic, especially with Golden Tate fitting in so well aside Megatron. The defense is still very talented, and I've always loved watching Haloti Ngata. That all said, at their worst they are really boring. Plus... Jim Caldwell.
20.) New Orleans Saints
I think the NFL community has basically left Rob Ryan train station at this point; he's crazy but he's more watchable for the 3-5 times he does something insane on the sideline than for his defense. The offense is always fun, but it is as intriguing this year as they basically went all in on Brees and a bunch of nobodies (Nick Toon!!).
19.) New York Giants
Odell Beckham Jr., why even explain it beyond that? Oh, they also may feature a 4-fingered Jason Pierre-Paul at some point. And I don't know how many years we'll get to see Tom Coughlin again.
18.) Miami Dolphins
I'm really excited to see this offense. The line is very average (which is fun to watch, some times), but I really like watching Jarvis Landry and Jordan Cameron, and I like the Kenny Stills signing. Yes, this is putting a lot of faith in Ryan Tannehill, but even he's more exciting than the normal 15th best QB in the NFL.
17.) Minnesota Vikings
There's a lot to look out for here. Teddy Bridgewater in year two. The second year of Mike Zimmer's defense with all that talent on that side of the ball. Also it is the last year to see them outside before they move back in a dome next year. Then again, they also have two of the more depressing ex-exciting players in Peterson and Mike Wallace.
Tier IV - The League's Best Unknowns
16.) Philadelphia Eagles
There are a lot of teams in the NFL I find really watchable, and from here on out I could watch these teams play anyone. The Eagles might be the biggest mystery. Can Chip Kelly's offense work without WRs? Is Demarco Murray going to be the next victim of the Curse of 370? Does it matter that every pro bowl player from 2012 on offense is now gone? Can Sam Bradford stay healthy? All that intrigue, but there's also a chance all of it goes to hell and it becomes a disaster.
15.) Buffalo Bills
Watching the Rex Ryan Bills defense will be worth all prices of all admissions. Rex Ryan has never had this type of front. They were dominant and a great watch before Ryan got there. Now they get a mad genius at defense that has always had exciting defenses even with 50% as much talent. On the other side, it will be interesting watching Tyrod Taylor try to make hay with Sammy Watkins and LeSean McCoy. What's that? Matt Cassel may start?... Oh.
14.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers
13.) Tennessee Titans
This is the only time I'm grouping two teams together, and that is because the only reason to really watch them is the thing they share in common: their highly drafted rookie QB. Jamies Winston at his best was a fascinating watch in college, and he has some nice targets. For Mariota, there is the fun of watching him leave that type of offense in Oregon and try to make it work in the pros; also to see if he can fit in a Whisenhunt offense. Now, if they're both horrible this may be a terrible ranking, but I can't imagine them both being a Jamarcus type player.
Tier V - A Swimmingly Competent Watch
12.) San Diego Chargers
I should basically call them the San Diego Rivers, as watching Philip Rivers is what is ranking them this high. When he's on, like he was against Baltimore or Seattle last year, it is like watching a magician. He's a true savant at playing QB, and any chance to watch him get his groove on is worth a Sunday afternoon.
11.) St. Louis Rams
Chris Long - Michael Brockers - Nick Fairley - Aaron Donald - Robert Quinn. That is all.
10.) New England Patriots
Watching the Patriots is a weird existential exercise. I find myself asking things like "Is this real?", "Why can't we all just do this?", "What am I doing with my life?". It's an experience more than anything. I also find them the least enjoyable great offense of all time to watch. Of course, still being a great offense puts them up this list.
9.) Pittsburgh Steelers
The Steelers had a couple year period where they would have been up the list, but they're back to being great to watch. The defense is a disaster, though there is some delight in watching them finally be bad at defense, but watching Roethlisberger is an absolute delight - same with Antonio Brown. There's also still something nice about watching a game with that old-school, single-logo helmet on the side of his head.
8.) Carolina Panthers
Surprised? Obviously this is a biased opinion, but I love so much about watching the Panthers. Specifically that defense. Ron Rivera's defense may be one of the most entertaining in the NFL. They blitz like mad, but mostly with secondary players which is awesome. Then watching Luke Kuechly and Thomas Davis cover so much ground is staggering. Of course, watching Cam beg, borrow and steal his way to 20 points a game is a delight also. They have a distinct way of playing that just works so well.
Tier VI - Can't Turn my Eyes Away
7.) Indianapolis Colts
Watching Andrew Luck play is something amazing. He has 2-3 moments a game where he'll do something that no one else ever could do. The only thing close is watching Aaron Rodgers (hence, why that team is still to be listed). Also, watching those midgets run around the field (Hilton, Moncrief and now Dorsett) will be great also. But it all comes down to watching Mr. Luck.
6.) Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens are like watching a really well produced play. They have a particular set of skills and roles that they'll weave together perfectly. The offense built on motion, and roll-outs and players like Steve Smith and Justin Forsett. The defense that has held a lot of its creativity and strength and magnetism even without Ed Reed and Ray Lewis (Terrell Suggs helps), and finally coach Harbaugh is always good for a few great moments a game. Just a really well rehearsed, fun watch.
5.) Green Bay Packers
Just like Luck, Aaron Rodgers does some things that are just impossible. His connection to Nelson will be lost this year, but that may even make him try even harder and push his ability even more. The defense is fun to watch because Capers will try some interesting stuff, but this is mostly about Rodgers, as it only needs to be to still be this high.
4.) Arizona Cardinals
Through 11 games with Carson Palmer and Stanton, they were #1 last year on this by far. They played some great games, but had this awesome style. Mad blitzing on defense, with receivers left on islands all over the place (it worked better than that description would make you think). The offense is bombs away with Arians as their coach, with receivers to do it like Michael Floyd and the Browns (John and Jaron), and of course Fitz. Just an awesome watch that is far better than it has any right to be.
Tier VII - The Top of Watchability Mountain
3.) Dallas Cowboys
If you want to watch things that seemingly were left behind in 2000, like building the offense through a great o-line and building your defense to play Tampa-2 and force turnovers, the Cowboys are the team for you. However, what makes the Cowboys really special, though, is that they add to that Tony Romo, a pretty magnetic draw, and Dez Bryant.
2.) Seattle Seahawks
When I watch the Seahawks I start to wonder how any team is doing this on defense in 2014, and now 2015. Watching Sherman, Thomas, Wagner and (hopefully) Chancellor is the best defense experience in the current NFL. It will also be interesting to see if Russell Wilson will get better this year as a passer. Also, watching games in that bandbox in Seattle is always good times.
1.) Denver Broncos
Yes, it is biased to pick them at the top, but hear me out. With Wade Phillips coaching that defense they should be great. The Broncos play a really fun defense with tons of rushing and man coverage, a good combination. It will also be interesting to see Gary Kubiak's schemes mesh with Peyton's, Finally, this could be Peyton Manning's final year. Every pass of his should be cherished by any NFL fan as it may all be over for one of the all-time, all-time greats in 4 months.
