I haven't written about football since before the Conference Championship Games. I didn't write anything about the Super Bowl. I, in truth, have tried my hardest to and done a fairly good job at not even thinking about the Super Bowl. That night ended in a shivering horror. But a combination of travel for work and other aspects of my life made it a whole lot easier to not care about that game, that league, and this sport. Three months later, it was my first real test. The NFL draft. And I didn't really care. I didn't know any of the players, I forgot what free agents went where, and I just had an apathy to the draft, to the idea of a new season in general. It really led me to ask if I truly love Football anymore.
I loved football to an unhealthy level for a long time. Shit, I started this blog close to eight years ago because of football, because I wanted an outlet to write about the game, about who I thought the good teams were and who I thought would win each week. Over time the blog traipsed along to various different subjects, notably travel, TV and other sports, but football was its backbone. For a good seven years, football owned my life from September through January. It casted a shadow over every Sunday (and Monday, and Thursday). It was a tremendously entertaining, fun and annoying weekly vice. I truly had an unhealthy love of football. Can that really just disappear?
Like most things on this blog, I would have to bring up Manning. The noticeable difference of both last season and this offseason, is that there is no Manning title to long for. He's gone. The league has moved on, and so have I. I couldn't watch him play last year. I couldn't follow the offseason to see how the moves would help his team and hopefully hurt his competitors. No, Manning is gone. Brady is somehow still here and still better than ever. The through line of every past NFL season was Manning and Brady. One half of that duo is gone, the more meaningful half, and I would have to admit my interest fell off without his presence there.
I've only once before done a full blackout of NFL consumption during an offseason. That was actually right after my first season writing the blog. After the Colts lost Super Bowl XLIV to New Orleans, I was devastated. I couldn't look at football. I turned all of it out. I decided to read a book a a week - probably kept that up for a month or so. It was fun. But come the draft, or come training camp and definitely come September, I was right back there on my couch in my basement each week. I really do wonder if that will happen this September.
My love for Raiders is reborn, but that isn't as strong as it was for Manning and the Colts (and Broncos, though there I really only cared about him). My love for the league just isn't though. I still find football to be the best sport. The strategy is incredible. The human emotion is great. The stadiums, the energy, the environment, the cosmic energy of a cold January night. It is all so special - but is that enough anymore.
I've dug into this baseball season more than any in the past decade probably (quick aside, the Astros are really good!). I'm enjoying the hockey playoffs like I have any other year. I've followed La Liga and the UCL more than in years past with my old Manning-esque love in Zinedine Zidane back in the spotlight (another quick aside, if Manning were to take a Team President role, that would truly be a game-changer), and I have a feeling these other interests will not abate once football is back.
In a dark moment, I may get close to admitting that the Patriots ridiculous comeback has a part to play as well. I didn't watch the Super Bowl. Really, I didn't. I couldn't. Actually, I rpobably could have. I just didn't want to. Instead, I cooked a lamb roast and watched My Cousin Vinny (100% serious). Given what happened, this was a better use of my time. I've gone past hating the Patriots to just being bored and accepting of them. I wrote years ago that I yearn for a post-Manning/Brady league where each week isn't a re-examination of that rivalry. Given Manning is gone, and Brady has seemingly won that argument forever in the minds of 95% of the public (I still hold firmly 18>12) maybe I just don't care anymore.
Instead of examining why this disillusion occurred, I've started just wondering what my life would be without football as such a central figure. I've thought about what I could do with my fall Sundays suddenly available. I've thought about what podcasts I could listen to during my drives instead of listening to umpteen football ones. I've thought about what it may mean to not be so invested into the results of each Sunday that it makes my case of the Mondays even worse than it should be. Life without football playing a leading role may actually be more rewarding on the whole.
I don't look back at my football quasi-addiction with a sense of disappointment. I do ask 'was it all worth it?', but in the end I think it was. I have an addictive personality by nature and if it wasn't football, it would have been something else. Football taught me a lot. It gave me an opportunity to interact with a lot of incredibly interesting people on various football and Colts-specific blogs. I don't regret these things. I will always remember watching the great games of the past 15 years. I also don't feel bad knowing that I may not catch all of the great ones of the next 15.
I loved football to an unhealthy level for a long time. Shit, I started this blog close to eight years ago because of football, because I wanted an outlet to write about the game, about who I thought the good teams were and who I thought would win each week. Over time the blog traipsed along to various different subjects, notably travel, TV and other sports, but football was its backbone. For a good seven years, football owned my life from September through January. It casted a shadow over every Sunday (and Monday, and Thursday). It was a tremendously entertaining, fun and annoying weekly vice. I truly had an unhealthy love of football. Can that really just disappear?
Like most things on this blog, I would have to bring up Manning. The noticeable difference of both last season and this offseason, is that there is no Manning title to long for. He's gone. The league has moved on, and so have I. I couldn't watch him play last year. I couldn't follow the offseason to see how the moves would help his team and hopefully hurt his competitors. No, Manning is gone. Brady is somehow still here and still better than ever. The through line of every past NFL season was Manning and Brady. One half of that duo is gone, the more meaningful half, and I would have to admit my interest fell off without his presence there.
I've only once before done a full blackout of NFL consumption during an offseason. That was actually right after my first season writing the blog. After the Colts lost Super Bowl XLIV to New Orleans, I was devastated. I couldn't look at football. I turned all of it out. I decided to read a book a a week - probably kept that up for a month or so. It was fun. But come the draft, or come training camp and definitely come September, I was right back there on my couch in my basement each week. I really do wonder if that will happen this September.
My love for Raiders is reborn, but that isn't as strong as it was for Manning and the Colts (and Broncos, though there I really only cared about him). My love for the league just isn't though. I still find football to be the best sport. The strategy is incredible. The human emotion is great. The stadiums, the energy, the environment, the cosmic energy of a cold January night. It is all so special - but is that enough anymore.
I've dug into this baseball season more than any in the past decade probably (quick aside, the Astros are really good!). I'm enjoying the hockey playoffs like I have any other year. I've followed La Liga and the UCL more than in years past with my old Manning-esque love in Zinedine Zidane back in the spotlight (another quick aside, if Manning were to take a Team President role, that would truly be a game-changer), and I have a feeling these other interests will not abate once football is back.
In a dark moment, I may get close to admitting that the Patriots ridiculous comeback has a part to play as well. I didn't watch the Super Bowl. Really, I didn't. I couldn't. Actually, I rpobably could have. I just didn't want to. Instead, I cooked a lamb roast and watched My Cousin Vinny (100% serious). Given what happened, this was a better use of my time. I've gone past hating the Patriots to just being bored and accepting of them. I wrote years ago that I yearn for a post-Manning/Brady league where each week isn't a re-examination of that rivalry. Given Manning is gone, and Brady has seemingly won that argument forever in the minds of 95% of the public (I still hold firmly 18>12) maybe I just don't care anymore.
Instead of examining why this disillusion occurred, I've started just wondering what my life would be without football as such a central figure. I've thought about what I could do with my fall Sundays suddenly available. I've thought about what podcasts I could listen to during my drives instead of listening to umpteen football ones. I've thought about what it may mean to not be so invested into the results of each Sunday that it makes my case of the Mondays even worse than it should be. Life without football playing a leading role may actually be more rewarding on the whole.
I don't look back at my football quasi-addiction with a sense of disappointment. I do ask 'was it all worth it?', but in the end I think it was. I have an addictive personality by nature and if it wasn't football, it would have been something else. Football taught me a lot. It gave me an opportunity to interact with a lot of incredibly interesting people on various football and Colts-specific blogs. I don't regret these things. I will always remember watching the great games of the past 15 years. I also don't feel bad knowing that I may not catch all of the great ones of the next 15.
