"The One Where Michael Leaves". Just the title alone was a joke, jabbing Friends for having each episode titled "The One Where/With/When". The episode starts with Michael and son George Michael leaving for Arizona ("Pheonix, Arizona" as Michael immediately says cutting off Ron Howard's narration). Michael states that the best part of their intended move is not working with the family, but George Michael reminds him that Michael's family motto is "Family First." Michael, of course, says it was but that that wasn't a family. That they were "a bunch of greedy, selfish people who have our nose, and Aunt Lindsay" which gets George Michael excited that maybe Meabe isn't related to her, but Michael quashes that fear with a beautiful dead-pan of "[her nose] is not her real nose. I have a picture of her in a swimming cap that makes her look like a Falcon." And end scene. It was a really simple scene, a moment between father and son. But like any moment between father and son in Arrested Development, it contained incestuous thoughts and obliviousness. The perfect start to a perfect season.
We go back to the car where Michael drives proudly, thinking his family will weep for his loss, but George Michael chimes in with "Well, maybe they think we are headed home. Actually, that's what I thought we were doing until I heard about all that Phoenix stuff." Michael then calls home to ask for Michael to see if they know he's gone, but Lucille just shouts Michael and puts the phone down. Michael then drives back home, and in keeping with perfect detail, the second they enter the condo, the phone is loudly off the hook. After this relatively mundane start, AD begins then to turn up the heat. Michael attempts to give a dramatic speech about betrayal and that he and his son are leaving and cutting the cord, but it keeps getting interrupted. First Buster blows Lucille's rape horn (after Lucille gets defensive about needing her rape horn, Buster whispers "Yeah, like someone would want to "r" her". Then Lucille puts on the blender right as the speech is about the reach its climax, and gives a look only she is capable of giving. The acting in Arrested Development is really unbelievably good. In this case, it is not even the delivery of their lines. They all respond well and act well without speaking. These looks that Lucille gives are a perfect example.
We then cut over to another scene (with the sound of the blender constant in the background - again, no detail was ever forgotten), where Maebe tells George Michael if he feels bad that he's leaving his girlfriend 'Bland' (the first in a long, long line of mistaken names for Ann), a girl so nameless that "under her picture in the school yearbook it says not pictured." George Michael defends Blands honor by saying "they printed a retraction in the Spring Supplement." What show would ever have lines like this, think of something as absurd as a Spring Supplement to a high school yearbook. After George Michael tells Maebe that he's sad he can't go to the school "Get Out to Vote Assembly" (which of course, was postponed to after the election because a foreign exchange student parked to close to the gym), Annyong (in one of his few S2 appearances) claims that he'll play Uncle Sam, which is better than his current part of "ordering the strike against Pearl Harbor." That scene finally ends with Michael and Lucille leaving the kitchen with martini that she just blended in hand.
Michael then goes on another classic Michael Bluth rant about all the things he won't be giving to his family anymore, like someone to watch over Buster who won't kill him (to which Buster shouts "I'll kill them first"), or someone to give advice to GOB about how to get out of a mistake, and then to Lindsay marital advice about a husband who might be a (insert horn, as before Michael says "Gay", Tobias blows the rape horn). In this speech, George Michael was scolded for telling the family the location where they are moving. Remember this bit for later. On the way to Phoenix, Michael is stopped by the police who tell him that his father has been caught. Ron Howard interjects that "Michael knew if he went back, he would say something hurtful", and then it cuts to Michael saying "We're going back." I've never seen a show use the narrator as well as Arrested Development. The narrator was the source of just as many jokes (or in this case, the device used to begin the joke) as any of the other characters. The show cuts back to a scene where the police catch Oscar Bluth, George Bluth's hippy twin brother who had an affair with Lucille that he wants to rekindle. After Buster catches Oscar and Lucille kissing, he exclaims, "Oh, I thought my father was here." This then starts a long running gag of Oscar trying to hint to Buster that he is his father (which is true), as he replies "Did they?" in a tone that just spelled, "Your father is here." What makes the running bit work is this ridiculous music they pair Oscar's comment with, which follows the bit around throughout the seasons. The music was also used as a catalyst for many jokes. It happens two seconds later, where after Lucille says that Oscar can't stay with them, Buster says that "[Lucille] has always wanted me to have a father figure." Cut to Oscar, again with music, nodding "Yes, a father figure." These scenes never end, and never stop being funny.
Michael then meets Barry Zuckerkorn at the jail. Michael then tells Barry that they are leaving, and after George Michael tells Barry that he can't say where too, Michael says "No, we can tell Barry, we are going to Phoenix." To which Barry replies "Oh, I wish you hadn't said Phoenix." This little joke that played off of his earlier indignation of George Michael revealing their destination of Phoenix is a perfect scene to just explain how crazy Michael Bluth really is. Creator Mitch Hurwitz later said that Michael may have been the craziest character of all in that he can't see past the zaniness of everyone around him. Here is a perfect example. He doesn't realize his family won't give two shits about where he is going too, but he tries to hide it from them. Michael then returns to the Bluth home to post bail using the company checkbook (a nice callback to the original foundation of the show, that George Bluth was in prison for using company money). He walks into the living room where Lindsay is "excercising" by deep breathing while sitting on the couch. It cuts to a scene of Lindsay walking into the master bedroom to see Tobias sitting on the bed watching the exact same deep breathing excercising tape. After both Lindsay and Tobias realize they can't become sexually active again, they have a deep heart to heart, which contains a nice nugget where Tobias is seen laying on the bed swinging his legs behind him like a teenage girl. They then agree to an open marraige, to which Tobias cries out "We can hammer out the details later, but right now we have a daughter to tell.... Maebe, we're having a FAMILY MEETING!!". The scene ends with Lindsay telling Michael that GOB is now heading the company.
The scene cuts to the office where in Michael's old office GOB is playing pool and continually hitting the wall with his backswing of the pool cue. After each time, he tells his worker to smash the wall in that spot with a hammer, for no real apparent reason. GOB also tells Michael that his desk is now the massage table in the breakroom. When Michael tells GOB that he needs to be approved by the board, GOB replies that he already has which cuts to a scene where he in front of the board does a magic trick where he turns a one hundred dollar bill into one hundred pennies, and when the trick works, GOB is in his giddy look while the GOB magic music plays (another running soundtrack). Michael, in perfect Michael form, says "why wouldn't they trust you, you've already lost them 99 dollars." After Michael tells GOB that he thought GOB might need him, GOB gets indignant and says "I need you. I should call the guys in to hear this." and then proceeds to not be able to use the intercom, which ends in him, as it should be, needing Michael. Arrested Development did such a great job of juxtaposing a spoken line with an immediate action that relayed the rest of the joke. More than half of their jokes, I would say, were unspoken.
Tobias walks the boardwalk glumly after realizing that his wife will have more success in their open marriage (with a song of "When I'm down, so down; staring at the ground. I'm blue, so blue; Man, I'm blue), he sees a flier for "The Blue Man Group" which he mistakes to be a group for depressed men. This is the beginning of one of the most fruitful arcs in show history. Back in the condo, Lucille realizes that Michael came back out of need, that he was "The Boy who cried Phoenix" and assures him that the police won't be able to tie the homes in Iraq to George Bluth, and then reassures him with two ridiculous winks. Michael replies "Man, the jury's gonna love you," and before walking out, sees Annyong in full Uncle Sam regalia saying 'I Want You', and gives one last quip before leaving that "Man, the jury might actually like that." Going back to Lucille. This part was really evidence that she really was the most aware of everything. She was a bad person, but she also understood the dynamics of the group far more than Michael did, as she realized immediately why Michael came back home from Phoenix.
We cut back to the office where in attempt to nail a picture to the wall, GOB uses a sledgehammer (another callback to a season 1 gag where none of the Bluth family can successfully use a hammer - more on this next episode). After breaking the wall, GOB finds a briefcase with a signed agreement between George Bluth and "S. Hussein". Before we get back, we quickly cut to Tobias grinning with glee at the Blue Man Show's concert. Then it cuts to the penthouse, where Lucille watches the news where after the lead story that "You may be living in one of Saddam's mini-palaces", there is story that there was a seal attack, the first of many hidden foreshadowings to Buster losing his hand in a seal attack. On the way to the office, Lucille is stopped by Michael Moore. In the only true bit of referencing in this episode, Michael Moore asks Lucille if she was willing to sign Buster up for the ARMY , full Fahrenheit 911 style, to which Lucille says yes. The beginning of another great fountain of jokes for S2.
Michael is back at the house, trying to find the checkbook by, of course, breaking the walls with the sledgehammer, and he breaks a wall that reveals Tobias in the bathroom in full blue paint. "Are You Crazy!!" Tobias asks. "Are you Blue?" Michael retorts, to which Tobias says "only in color, Michael, only in color." Tobias then has a heart to heart with Michael, saying how he needs help, that "he's carrying a sledgehammer, and has blue paint on his......." He then realizes that he was the cause of the blue paint, not only on Michael's shirt but around the house. For the rest of the first half on S2 there will be blue paint all over the house in random places. On walls, on faucets, on plates; blue paint will become a running feature of the Bluth house. As Michael gets ready to leave to ask for money, Tobias says "I have to leave for an audition." Michael can't believe Tobias hasn't actually gotten the part, but Tobias replies sadly, "I just blew myself." The first of about 200 double entendre's in S2. We cut to Tobias walking to his audition at dusk, perfectly blending in with the blue sky (another thing that was so Arrested Development. What made the show is great is most shows wouldn't even think of half these things, be this creative. What show would have a member of the Blue Man Group?). He is then run over by, of all people, Barry Zuckerkorn.
Michael then meets the rest of the family in the hospital where he makes a speech about how people are too proud to ask for help, to say "I need you." To which each member of the family replies "I need you" one by one. Buster starts with "Mom volunteered me for the ARMY, just because the fat man said so." GOB continues with "I know too much. I've got the thingy. Half in Enlgish, half in squiggly". The doctor then arrives. The doctor is known to be a very literal man, as in he earlier said about George that "we lost him" when they lost him in that he escaped. Now, he's saying that Tobias "looks to be dead", to which GOB cries out, "The little guy. We lost the little guy. The tears just aren't coming" (the tear part was a callback to when George was reported to be 'lost' and he cried out for the loss of the 'Big Bear'). Michael wants reassurance, and the doctor replies "it just looks like he's dead. He's got like blue paint on him or something." which cues angry reactions from the whole family, the funniest being Lidnsay's "This Fucking Doctor" with the fucking bleeped out. The uses of curses in Arrested Development was always brilliant. In keeping with the realist setting of the show, they were always used like how any normal man would use the word, in times of agitation. Every bleep was expertly placed, always funny, always great.
The cops then come to take Michael, and GOB reassures him that they have the proof, they have George's signed contract with Saddam, "Hussein" as Buster slowly whispers. GOB then realizes that the briefcase is missing, which we would notice if we paid attention to the background that Oscar slowly takes the briefcase out of GOB's hands when hugging him. Annyong then blurts out that someone stole his Uncle Sam wig, which then we realize that Oscar was in fact George with the Uncle Sam wig, and that he's again on the lamb. Everything comes full circle, as Arrested Development is able to incorporate a seemingly irrelevant bit (the Uncle Sam part in the "Get Out to Vote" play) into the main arc. A nice way to wrap up a nice episode. The episode then finishes like all others, with fake "Next time on Arrested Development" scenes. The first uses the literal doctor who says to Lindsay "you are really looking hot" when she has a fever of 104. That leads to a scene where she's in the hospital, and hidden behind is Tobias, ears still Blue, in the cot next to her. The first episode was more just development and setting the season in place. It really gets going in the third episode. The second one is mostly a standalone, as far as any standalone can be in Arrested Development. When we get going though, it doesn't stop. From now on, I'll talk less about the summary, and more about my thoughts, but I wanted to let people get a good feel for what the show is. From now on, it gets tougher and more interesting. In the words of Bart Scott, Can't Wait.
Next Up: 2-02 - The One Where They Build a House
