I'd done this two-week tango, going from desolation in defeat to exuberance in a Patriots defeat very often. It happeend just two years prior with the Jets, who beat the 2010 Colts 17-16 on a walk-off field goal (Manning's last game as a Colt) and then shocked the Patriots in Foxboro. That was different. That Colts team wasn't all that great, a 10-6 injury riddled squad lifted almost purely by Peyton's brilliance. If the Colts won that game, they probably would've lost the next week to Pittsburgh. I also didn't watch the 2010 Divisional Game when they shocked the Pats - being in India at the time. No, 2012 was very different.
For starters, the 2012 Broncos were in many ways the best team in teh NFL that year. By the end of the year that was very known - five weeks in, wiht Manning having come back from four neck surgeries, from barely being able to throw, it was far from known. Manning's return to the sport was incredible, one of the most meaningful, emotional moments for me as a sports fan was that Week 1 win over Pittsburgh. In Week 2 he threw three straight interceptions and all looked lost by the time they dropped to 2-3. Of course, the Broncos would win the next eleven games - all by at least 7 points - with an incredible combination of offense (Manning the league's best QB - runner up in an MVP race with Adrian Peterson) and a defense that was spearheaded by Von Miller and Elvis Dumervil. They scored the second most points and allowed hte fourth fewest. They gained the fourth most yards, allowing the second fewest. They were a complete dominant team. And it all went away in four harrowing hours.
2012 was an interesting season. I was a senior in college, set-up to graduate early (so that December). I had few classes, and watched a shit ton of football. Other than maybe 2008 (my Senior year of High School - sensing a trend) I never followed a season so closely. It wasn't just the return of Peyton, and me wanthing revenge for the league for casting him aside - it was the birth of the Seahawks v. 49ers rivalry, another great New England team, Adrian Peterson's 2,000 yard season and so much more. It was a special year, and it culminated in my hpe that it would crown Peyton as returning conquering king. I sat in my basement (had graduated by this point) to watch the Ravens and Broncos play in the divisional round. It was near zero degrees with wind chill (13 degrees overall). It was a brutally cold day, and I sat in my chair wrapped up feeling every bit as cold and nervous.
Having lived through a few disasters in my life as a Colts fan to that point, I knew to be nervous from the start. A quick punt return TD to put the Broncos up 7-0 didn't alleviate my fears at all and for good reason. A phantom pass interference extended the Ravens subsequent drive which ended with a bomb 59-yard TD - the longest play the Broncos gave up all year, for now. A missed clear pass interference led to a pick-6 by Baltimore to go up 14-7. A missed field goal by pro-bowl Matt Prater didn't allow the Broncos to go up 24-14 before half, and the Ravens took over and hit a 32-yard TD over Champ Bailey (continuously roasted in the game) to tie it at 21. It was harrowing, it was getting colder, and I hadn't moved. And that was just the first half.
In the second it got no better. The worst being the Broncos running three straight times for limited yards needing one first down to clinch the game. Instead they punted, and then Baltimore got one of the luckier breaks in recent playoff memory - the hail mary TD to Jacoby Jones to tie the game. Rahim Moore, a name forever cursed in my mind and all over Denver, took the worst route to the pass - doing the one thing a safety cannot do, especially in that situation. It was awful. OT just made it worse - with twice the Broncos dropping easy interceptions and once letting the Ravens convert a 3rd and long from inside their own five. It finally ended with Manning throwing a bad pick, and Justin Tucker, at the time a flighty rookie, nailing a 49yd field goal in sub-zero temps. It was brutal. I just felt shock.
Not so much they lost, but they lost in the exact ways that kept destroying his Colts playoff career. Blown leads, stupid defensive mistakes, poor performances from units strong all year, conservative coaching (after the Jacoby TD there was still ~35 seconds and the Broncos had a timeout, they just kneeled). It was all so familiar, and so haunting that it was still all there. He changed teams but his demons wouldn't go away.
I don't know if I've ever been more catatonic after a Manning loss, but this time was due to being sad for him, not sad and depressed for myself. That is a small but importnat distinction. That's why very soon after on this blog I put together a list of my 10 most harrowing, worsts sports losses, the 2012 Divisional ranked only #7 - but in terms of immedaite depression it was up there with The Tuck Rule.
And that's why I am so grateful, unendingly grateful, for the Ravens to do what they did the next week. In New England, they beat the Patriots. Not only beat them, but them handily in Foxboro. It was not a close game, it didn't come down to flukes, it didn't come down to officiating luck or insane twists and turns. It was just a pure beatdown (admittedly, the first half was close). It also ended in such great ways as a Patriots hater (and admitted Ravens quasi-fan). It ended with Flacco growing up and him and Boldin embarassing an average Patriots defense. it ended with the Ravens shutting out the Patriots, fresh off of a 550pt season in teh second half. The last three drives, starting from a point of a Ravens 28-13 lead, I was still nervous but starting to get excited, and each three ended with me closer and closer to ecstasy.
I remember watching that game with my Dad, still not fully over the loss the weekend before (done with college, I had little else to do in my day-to-day aside from planning my RTW Trip that would start a month later). We sat on our couch, lights off, darkness descending. He was getting excited early (in the end right to do so), but I couldn't shake the fact it wasn't settled yet.
The first drive ended with a Patriots turnover on downs, with Brady not scrambling for a 1st down and instead throwing up a prayer to no one. The second drive ended with an interception on a batted ball. The third drive, after the Ravens got two first downs to really drain the clock, ended with another interception that was the capper. At that moment, I had a lot of feeleings.
There was joy for the Patriots losing, for the Patriots not onyl losing but losing more badly to the team that jus tbeat Peyton. It took an epic game, full of incredible twists, lucky blunders, and truly once-in-a-decade moments, for them to beat Peyton and the Broncos. It took just them playing great to beat the Pats. I also felt a bit of joy for the Ravens - I have long been a fan of Ed Reed. The Ravens were on the losing end of another catatonic-state-inducing game the year prior in that very hellish Gillette Stadium. they got their revenge, Ed Reed got his shot at a ring - as did John Harbaugh, Flacco and so many other good to great ones.
And finally I felt relief. That whole season was an incredible ride from the immediate highs of Manning's triumphant return in Week 1, to the 11-game win streak, to everything else. I was all set for a triumphant ending and the Ravens took it away in harrowing fashion. They were going to ruin my life because they wouldn't do the same to the Patriots, they woudn't get the refereeing help, they wouldn't get the luck of the Pats dropping picks. Turns out they didn't need any of that, they were just better on that day.
The 2012 playoffs span of eight days taught me a lot - mostly how to let go, to not hold onto the pain of a sports loss too long. In later years I've been able to shift focus a bit better than just remain a bit tied up on a past result. It also taught me to try to apprecaite the great games for what they are. The 2012 Divisional Round is truly an epic game, one of the most memorable, best played playoff games of the past decade - and I've never truly been able to appreciate it for what it is. But mostly, it taught me to not abandon hope, that out of some sports despair can come excellence - and oh and it taught me to always look on the bright side, to find the Ed Reed win in every Peyton defeat.
