2009 NFL Playoff Primer - NFC

It's playoff time. This is the best time of the year, hockey and basketball in full swing, baseball far away so I don't have to gouge my eyes after witnessing yet another negative Astros headline, and the football playoffs to eat up like a sumo at an all-you-can-eat. Here is a team-by-team look at the playoffs, with rankings and comments for offense, defense, QB, coach, intangibles and extra-motivating factor. Teams are listed in seeding style.

6.) Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)

Offense: They are the definition of a big play offense. They rank 30th in 10-play drives, and second in scoring drives of 5 plays or less (NO is first). If they don't get the big play, they struggle to put up any points, as witnessed by last Sunday's game in Dallas. Having Jammal Jackson injured is huge, as centers are arguably the most important o-line position in terms of their effect on the line as a whole. The Eagles running game is surprisingly good in overall production, with 4.4 YPC. Leonard Weaver is a huge x-factor, as the Eagles are 6-1 in games where he gets 30 yards or more. He is the only true "clock-control" running back, and is a good receiver out of the back-field, something sorely missed with DeSean Jackson playing like a shell of himself. Donovan is very hit-or-miss these days, with 6 games with a passer rating over 100 and 4 with a rating less than 80. If he is on, then they can be scary, but it looks like that missing Jackson has really effected the line, and without protection, McNabb is very average now. Ranking: 5 out of 6

Defense: Their defense may be the most solely overrated unit in the playoffs this year. They are totally living by past reputation. Now, Sean McDermott has filled in admirably for the late great Jimmie Johnson, but to say that this Eagles defense is the same is just not true. They had a string of mediocre to bad offenses on their slate (Chicago, Washington twice, Atlanta, Oakland, Tampa) so that their overall stats look quite good. However, I look at two games. They gave up 514 yards to the Giants and 474 to the Cowboys. They are now playing those self-same Cowboys. Their defense forces turnovers and can get to the QB, but against the better teams, they have been unable to get good pressure on the QB, as witnessed by the games against the Giants and the Boys. Their run defense is stouter, but their pass-defense can be shredded if they don't get pressure up front. Ranking: 6

Quarterback: Donovan McNabb is now hit-or-miss much like the team in general. His accuracy is probably as good as it has ever been, but what is now different is that he doesn't really have the mobility to get away from pass rush anymore, not even to his level from last year. He was sacked 35 times, and was barely running. Early on in his career, he used to get Big Ben type of sacks, where he runs and runs away from pressure before inevitably getting caught. That doesn't happen anymore. He is a pocket passer. A good one, but a pocket passer. His playoff exprerience will help him, but it has not always been great experiences. Ranking: 3

Coach: Andy Reid, the embattled fatty. He is very underrated as a coach for his game-planning and his talent eye, but that stuff doesn't really help him anymore. Now it is mainly about game management, as every team left is good enough. His team has the talent, talent that he has helped to bring in, but it is now up to him. His past work has been good but not great. Amazingly, the time management that has killed him in the regular season has never really been a problem in the playoffs. Either way, his use of timeouts and challenges like they are kleenex is scary. No Eagles fan is totally comfortable with him leading the team. Ranking: 5

Interesting Note: The Eagles under the Andy Reid/Donovan McNabb regime have never lost their opening playoff game in a season, going 7-0 in thier first game. What may be a caveat in that streak is that they have only been the away team once, last year where they beat Tarvaris Jackson and the Vikes.

5.) Green Bay Packers (11-5)

Offense: They have really become better in pas protection, the thing that would totally kill their chances earlier in the year. Rodger was sacked only 8 times in the last 7 games. The improvement is split between Mart Tauscher and Chad Clifton finally healthily manning the tackle positions, and Rodgers just getting rid of the ball sooner. Ryan Grant had a nice bounce back year, turning what was a mess into a huge second half. However, let's look behind the numbers. Here are their offensive points and yard production against teams that were over .500: 24-311, 23-424, 26-358, 17-283, 27-350, 36-436. Those are good but not great numbers. Some of those games are impressive (the 36 against PIT, the 424 yards in Minnesota), but overall, far below their numbers in games against teams that are under .500. Ryan Grant never reached 100 yards (and only 90 once) against teams over .500. Aaron Rodgers only put up a passer rating over 100 twice against those winning teams. The Packers still struggle against premier teams, but they are the new-Pats in their way of dominating weaker teams to pad their overall stats. They are paper tigers on offense, but leopoards in real life. Ranking: 4

Defense: This is where they are real tigers. All year long, only three teams have gotten more than 350 yards against. That is the second best total in the league (the next closest had 5 such games). Only one crossed the 400 yard mark (the Steelers in that wild game). Really, since their Week 5 bye, only the Vikings and Steelers have crossed the 300 yard mark. Even after losing Al Harris and Aaron Kampman, their defense has kept on swimming at a great pace. Although their 31 sacks are in the bottom half, their total pressures are 8th in the league. They force turnovers at a league-leading rate of 2.5 a game, and are dangerous at any time. Their run defense is stout as well, with Cody Pickett returning with a strong come-back year. Really, in every single way, this is one of the best defenses in the NFL, and the best in the NFC. Period. Ranking: 1

Quarterback: Aaron Rodgers had a huge year. Huge. Brett Favre NEVER threw for that many yards. His 30-7 td/int ratio is amazing. He is one of the up-and-coming QBs in the league. However, Aaron seems a bit over-hyped. Sure, his numbers are spectacular, but in what may be the most playoff-like atmosphere he faced this year at home against Baltimore, he was very average. He was great against the Steelers, but that game featured as much defense as the Phoenix Suns. I'm not saying he is not good, he is. But, as Bill Parcells might say, "let's put the anointing oils away". Ranking: 4

Coach: I sang Mike McCarthy's praises earlier this year, and nothing has changed over the past half season. He is a top-flight head coach, with a great pedigree. He has playoff experience, and performed admirably in those playoffs. He rarely makes game managment mistakes, and calls that offense very well, adjusting to the specific strengths of Aaron Rodgers. The Packers run a scheme that is not to complex (deep out-posts, slants), but one that is masterfully called by McCarthy. Ranking: 3

Interesting Note: Guess what NFL team leads the league in rush defense? No, its not the usual suspects Vikings and Ravens. No, it is the Packers.

4.) Arizona Cardinals (10-6)

Offense: This is a hard one. At their best, they are as unstoppable as any team in the NFL. Kurt Warner has been amazing in the playoffs, putting up stats at a rate no one has ever done. He literraly ties his shoes, goes through his passing tree and puts on autopilot for 350 yards. Boldin's injury hurts, but there are two extra factors here. Warner throws to the RBs more, with both Wells and Hightower and the running-back flex specialist LaRod Stephens-Howling. Secondly, the running game has transformed. They are now a legitimate dual threat. Beanie Wells was excellent, and Tim Hightower is now actually good, instead of an overhyped schmuck like last year. The offensive line has its bad days, but they seem to be the only team to really be able to turn the switch off and on. When its on, they are a Ferrari, and it seems to be on during the playoffs. There is no point of me putting up regular season stats, I'll just tell you this, last postseason, they scored 30-33-32 points. Fitzgerald went off to the tune of 35 rec 563 yards and 7 tds. He probably won't come close to that, but Beanie and the running game should make up for the difference. Ranking: 2

Defense: The defense, much like the offense, is hit or miss. However, unlike the offense, it hits, alot. They gave up yards alot, but forced turnovers throughout they year, however they really started to gel at the end of the year. They have held five of their last six opponents to 350 yards or less. They forced multiple turnovers in each of the last five games. They were third in the NFL in sacks, and eighth in takeaways. They give up yards, but alot of that has to do with them losing TOP. Their mainstream rate stats are good, being 12th in YPC allowed and 9th in YPA allowed. Those are the numbers that really matter, and they are one of the few teams around the top-10 in both. Ranking: 3

Quarterback: Kurt Warner maybe gray, may like to drink tea and do puzzles, but he is still one of the best performers in postseason history. He has the highest yards-per-game and td-per-game averages in NFL history. He has the highest three single-game Super Bowl passing yards performances, as well as the two highest single-postseason passing yardage performances (1999 and 2009). He has been great. If he has one weakness, it is that he has thrown two pick-sixes in his last two Super Bowls, but we won't have to worry about that for a while. Ranking: 1

Coach: Ken Whisenhunt, much like McCarthy, is one of the rising coaches in the game. I listed him fourth in my coach ranking, and he is first in the NFC playoff ranking. His game management is flawless, always a great conservator of timeouts, and calling the game brilliantly. His game-planning, now that he is the play-caller, has been excellent, mixing in the run exponentially better than last year. Also, he had the sense to get rid of Clacny Pendergast, which has similarily helped that defense. Ranking: 1

Interesting Note: This is the first back-to-back division titles for the Cards in over 50 years.

3.) Dallas Cowboys (11-5)

Offense: Paper Tigers. They can run well. They can throw well. But neither is great. Neither is game-changing. When mixed right, they are pretty dominant, but it is very questionable as to whether they can win the game themselves. They only scored 22.5 ppg (14th in the league). They gain yardage, but it does not translate to points, which goes very well with a team that can throw and run, but do neither at an all-pro level. Their offensive line is not great at run-blocking, by is amazing at a delay draw, which they run all the time and to amazing success. Those three running backs can all get yards between the 20's, but turn a bit softer in the red zone. Their red-zone offense is ranked 20th in the NFL, and that will have to improve as the time goes along. Their o-line has gotten a big boost from Dave Free, who has filled in brilliantly at LG. Flozzell is still a penalty machine, and Andre Gurode is still schizophrenic, but their o-line has been excellent in pass protection. Romo was only sacked 9 times in the last 10 games, and some of those were coverage sacks. Why are there coverage sacks? Becuase other than Miles Austin no one can consistently get free. Jason Witten does, but those are just short routes. He seems to have lost the ability to run deep, as his YPCatch was its lowest since 2004. Overall, the offense sputters to score, and that is what matters at the end of the day. Ranking: 6

Defense: Unlike their offense, their defense is top-notch. Credit Wade Phillips, who is now essentially the defensive coordinator of that team as well. Here is just a stunning stat, they have not given up more than 347 yards since week..... TWO. Yes, their defense has been playing at a great level for over four months now. You can still pass on them, but that allows their great pass rush to get after the QB. Jay Ratliff is on a tear, and he is allowing Spears, Olshansky and even Ware to get added pressure. Their run defense is the second-best in the NFL. There has been a total role-reversal in the last two years for the Cowboys. Now, they are a purely defensive team. Ranking: 1

Quarterback: Tony Romo still has not won in the playoffs. Sure, it is grasping for straws, but when every other QB in the NFC (except for Rodgers, whose stats are better than Romo in every single way) has reached at least the title game, with three reaching Super Bowls, and two winning Super Bowls, it is hard to be too confdent in him. His stats have been good, but in games where Miles Austin is taken away from him (San Diego, Green Bay), he turns into old Romo. Ranking: 5

Coach: Wade Phillips is underrated now. He is still a guy who has made some blunderous decisions, and never won a playoff game, but his job this year has been great. He held together what is still a volatile locker-room, and led that defense perfectly. That defense is great, and Wade is reasons 1 through 99 for why that defense is among the league's best. Ranking: 4

Interesting Note: That defe
nsive stat is amazing. What is more amazing, the last week they scored over 24 points? Week....... 8, on November 1st. That offense is average at best.

2.) Minnesota Vikings (12-4)

Offense: Let's all throw out that Week 17 performance. The Giants were mentally in Cabo. They are lucky the get a home game in round two, where they are 8-0, becuase they are still losers of three straight road games. In those road games, they put up 13 and 7 points, before "exploding" for 30, which is not a huge number for this team. The key here is Peterson. We saw, when Peterson when through his first malaise of his career (4 straight games under 100 yards, 6 straight under 4.5 YPC), Favre was not really able to carry that team by himself. The o-line has really suffered recently, alot to do with a mysterious drop in play from Bryant McKinnie. He seemed to recover in the Bears game, but he is still a question mark. This team is Jekyll at home, but Hyde on the road, and since they have to play one road game, most likely, I'm guessing we see Hyde at some point. Ranking: 3

Defense: EJ Henderson's injury has killed this team. Just killed them. They no longer stuff the run at a historic pace. They still finished the year ranked second against the run, but are only eleventh against the run since the Henderson injury. Pat Williams has also been slightly knicked up, and it seems that one half of the Williams wall at less than full makes the wall far less supple. The secondary is still problematic. Antoine Winfield returned brillaintly against the Bengals, but has since been beat badly. Steve Smith and then Devin Aromashadu pasted them. Allowing 100 to Steve Smith is fine. It happens. But to devin Aromashadu? That is reprehensible. Teams are no longer throwing for 300, but the mid 250's is being hit often, by quarterbacks of the Matt Moore, Jay Cutler ilk (can't believe those two are of the same ilk, btw). Their safeties have not been able to stop the big play, as they rank 10th in giving up 20+ yard pass plays. Some of that has to do with Winfeild's absence, but even since, they have given up big plays. Their defense was great against the Giants, but that should not act as a total bandage for that gushing scab that was their defensive performance against the Bears and their previosuly insane asylum-ed QB Cutler. Ranking: 5

Quarterback: Brett Favre's luster has certainly worn off with those performances, until, again, Week 17. Throwing out Week 17, he was average against the Bears, but that Arizona-Cincy-Carolina triad was ugly. He has not been the greatest playoff QB recently. He threw the pick against the Giants in '07, had a 4-int game in '04, threw that duck in OT against the '03, was totally outplayed by Vick in '02 and had a 6-int horror show in '01 against the Rams. That is the opposite of pedigree. Ranking: 6

Coach: What other coach would personally go to pick-up a player at the airport? The same one that would lose an argument to the same QB? Brad Childress is a puppet to Favre. Favre controls the strings in that operation. Add that to the fact that Childress wastes timeouts that makes Andy Reid look like he's protecting them in a safe-box, and there is no way I can trust him. Ranking: 6

Interesting Note: Visanthe Shianco led the league in REC per TDs, with 11 tds in only 55 catches. His 19 tds in the last two years is the most of any TE.

1.) New Orleans Saints (13-3)

Offense: Let's remember that this team, for a 12 week stretch, played offense that was only matched by the Greatest Show on Turf (they did not run it up like the '07 Pats). They were unstoppable. The last three weeks lost some luster, but I trust Drew Brees to be able to pick it up again. With Lance Moore and Reggie Bush finally back healthy, they have their full stable of weapons. If there is a cause for concern, it is that Jermon Bushrod, a guy who was a replacement LT for Jammal Brown, may have finally reached the point where he is over-his-head. Bushrod gave up 1 sack in their 12 game winning streak, and gave up 4 in the three losses. DeMarcus Ware used him as his personal cabana boy. There is thought that the reason Brees didn't even take one snap is because Payton was scared of subjecting Brees to the Bushrod-Peppers battle. That was not a vote of confidence, but with that quick-strike offense, and Brees's ability to get the ball out of his hands, I'm sure Payton can game-plan around it. Their running game stagnated a bit late, but alot of that had to do with accumulating injuries. Thier RB's trio is finally healthy, and if that run game returns to what it was as recently as the early portion of the Tampa game, than they should have the balance that made them unstoppable. Ranking: 1

Defense: Their defense had the same late-season malaise, but it is mainly shown on turnovers. Causing turnovers is not luck. There are teams that excel at it, and the Saints did, forcing 37 in their first 13 games, by far leading the league. That run came to a grounding halt, but again, there are reasons why. Injuries befell the secondary, and with the first seed all-but locked up, Payton and Williams devised a rotation scheme to give all thier DBs time, while resting them all. Jabari Greer, their top-corner, is finally back healthy. They were fourth against the pass with Greer in there, and 25th with him out. Darren Sharper reportedly wasa knicked up, but should be healthy. The thing here is that they simply played vanilla schemes the last four weeks, rarely sending more than four or mixing up coverages like they did so masterfully in the New England game. It is ridiculous to expect them to return to their peak on defense, but it is also not fair to assume that they cannot get any better. Ranking: 4

Quarterback: Drew Brees was the best statistical QB in the NFL this year. Period. It is not debatable. He probably wasn't the most valuable, as Manning had less to work with, and put up similar numbers, but as simply a guy to put up points and numbers, no one was better. Setting the NFL record for completion percentage was a nice coda to his best season yet. His postseason performances have been interesting, with a bad one in San Diego and two good games agains the Eagles and Bears in 2006. His team fumbled all around him, but he was a warrior in that 2006 NFC Title Game. His mastery of the position is simply unquestioned, but is average postseason drops him below Kurt. Ranking: 2

Coach: Sean Payton may have lost his luster, but there is no better game-planner, and no person who uses the vast multiple array of players at his and his QB's disposal. It seems like Drew Brees and Sean Payton are one in the same, one just controlling the other. His time management is not that great, as witnessed by the butchering of that potential game-tying drive against Dallas, but it is not enough to offset his game-planning. Ranking: 2

Interesting Note: The 13 games with over 350 yards that the Saints put up were the second highest total in NFL history, only behind the 2000 Rams who did it 14 times each.

Rankings Overview

Offense Ranking:
1.) NO
2.) ARZ
3.) MIN
4.) GB
5.) PHI
6.) DAL

Defense Ranking:
1.) GB
2.) DAL
3.) ARZ
4.) NO
5.) MIN
6.) PHI

QB Ranking:
1.) Kurt Warner, ARZ
2.) Drew Brees, NO
3.) Donovan McNabb, PHI
4.) Aaron Rodgers, GB
5.) Tony Romo, DAL
6.) Brett Favre, MIN

Coach Ranking:
1.) Ken Whisenhunt, ARZ
2.) Sean Payton, NO
3.) Mike McCarthy, GB
4.) Wade Phillips, DAL
5.) Andy Reid, PHI
6.) Brad Childress, MIN

AFC Coming Later Today

2009 NFL Season in Review

No need for power rankings, now that roughly 60% of the teams have no football left. The other teams get to play a crafty little tournament that will essentially make this whole "power ranking" charade pointless. Number one will be decided, unquestionably, in five weeks. I can't wait, unless it is those Chargers, in which case I am actively shopping for a rock to lay under. Anyway, here are my awards for the 2009 NFL Season - regular season version.

2009 Regular Season Champions: The Indianapolis Colts

They have been by far the most news-worthy team, whether it be the 4th and 2 debate and then the F-10 tornado that was unearthed from Bill Polian's decision to rest people. With these two things, both that negatively effected the team, people forgot just how good they were. They beat everyone they wanted to beat. They won game after game, staying calm and collected in the clutch and in the fourth-quarters. Contrast that to the 2009 Paper Champions, the Pats, who played like nuetered dobermans in fourth quarters. The Colts had a top offense, a top defense and finally a special teams that was "special" (or at least compared to the special teams they put up before). They were the best team in the regular season in every way.

2009 MVP: Peyton Manning, QB, Indianapolis

Yeah, it's that obvious. It's that simple. He was 14-0 when he played a full game. He set personal bests for completion percentage, and had overall the second best year statistically of his career. He was brilliant in the fourth-quarter of games. He lead touchdown drives at the most opportune times, playing possum until it was time to pounce. He won a game when the Colts held the ball for less than 15 minutes. He won two seperate games when they were trailing by 17 points, to New England and at Houston, teams that were desperate, needing wins to get in, or get positioning. He was the best. Also, let's remember that he had two new targets to throw to, and lost Anthony Gonzalez on the first offensive drive of the SEASON. There was arguably no better overall year for Manning.

2009 Coach of the Year: Marvin Lewis

So, this team has missed the playoffs three straight years, and were 4-11-1 last year. What did he do this season: sweep Baltimore and Pittsburgh (the teams that met in the Title Game las year), go the Lambeau and beat the Packers, and go to San Diego at their peak, and play point-for-point until that Caldwell fuble. He also had to lead this team over the dual tragedies of Mike Zimmer's wife and Chris Henry. This team finally became a defense, and that is credit to Marvin, whose defense improved after losing at-the-time sack leader Antwan Odom. Great year overall, by a guy who has finally comeback from the devastating Palmer injury in 2005.

2009 Rookie of the Year: Brian Orakpo, DE, Washington

Yup. Shocker. He got no publicity, with the dual white LB's killing on Green Bay and Houston, and Mark Sanchez, Stafford, Moreno and even Harvin. Harvin lost steam after that concussion, but Orakpo stayed steady all year, even when he lost his meal-ticket Albert Haynesworth. It was a year that was understandably suppressed by the Jim Zorn fiasco, featuring Sherm "B-7, no damnit, you don't have a bingo" Lewis. He's a stud. Finally, Texas has produced one (Yes, I'm looking at you, Michael Huff).

2009 Game of the Year: New England 34, Indianapolis 35

It was the most talked-about game of the year, and one that became as exciting as any game in recent memory. It was the untimate, quintessential water-cooler game. Everyone had something to talk about afterwards. Was Belichick smart? Was Belichick dumb? Does the math support this? Why are we quoting economics analyses on going-for-it on 4th down? Did the Colts deserve to win? What will happen to the Pats? In the end all questions were answered. Belichick was smart and dumb (depending on how you look at it). Let's leave economics out of football. Yes, the Colts deserved to win, as seen by their 14 straight wins before and after. The Pats were never the same. It was a game that the Colts springboarded themselves into a zone where they were just unbeatable. The Patriots were haunted by it, losing two of the next three, and never really threatening to break into that upper-echelon again. It was a game that, I will admit, I put off. I now have been burned twice, and have learned my lesson. Never turn off the lights on the Indianapolis Colts. Never. Also, expect levels of excitement and brilliance when the Colts and Pats match up, always.

2009 Moment of the Year: Saints Pummeling the Pats

Yeah, the moment is actually a game, but for what is probably still the most down-trodden economically fan-base in the NFL, it was a moment to savor. The Saints have still never fully recovered from Katrina, and had the all-time moment in 2006 when they re-opened the Superdome. However, this was it. This was New Orleans time in the spot-light. Undefeated at 11-0 against a top-tier franchise (whether they are a top-tier team is debatable), they cruised. It was the Greatest Show on Turf 2.0, with Sean Payton playing the more affable version of Mike Martz. It was NFL offense at its very best, with a crowd that was loud from the moment the pregame started, until every second of the clock drained on an emphatic Saints blowout.

2009 Goat of the Year: The Bills, Belichick and Polian

This is not because I hate him. I just think there was people who were more of a negative lightning rod than the Bills. Belichick's 4th-and-2 decision was stupid when it was made. It was more stupid when they failed to convert. Belichick decision unearthed a legion of Belichick hate, which made the most respected coach in history unbelievably questioned over an actual football decision. What takes the cake is that the Pats were never the same since that call, save for their monthly thrashing (Jacksonville). As for Polian, he was the man behind the decision. Fine, rest your starters in a blizzard in Buffalo. Don't rest them at home, or at least don't rest them after playing them enough to get a 5 point lead in the third quarter. It was not a good year for the Bills, whether Polian, Belichick or even Buffalo.

ALL-2009 Team

QB: Peyton Manning, Indianapolis

See above, in the MVP section.

RB: Chris Johnson, Tennessee

He ran for 2,000 yards, and set an NFL record with 2549 yards from scrimmage, breaking Marshall Faulk's NFL record. It didn't really help them get wins, since they were 0-6 with Johnson and Collins. However, there was no one as exciting as Chris Johnson. No one even close, other than Peyton. However, Peyton's excitement is more centered in a fine-art way.

WR1: Andre Johnson, Houston

He is an absolute beast. He is an udonis among mere worms, let alone normal human beings. He cuaght 100 balls. He led the NFL yards by about 150. He was the only reliable target for Matt Schaub, and without him, he would not have come close to the numbers he put up. He is a combination of Wes Welker and Randy Moss, a guy who can fly, go deep, and catch everything that is within an area-code of him.

WR2: Sidney Rice, Minnesota

Yeah, some love for those Vikings. He was a guy who entered the season as a bust, a guy seeping with talent. With Favre, he turned into a monster, catching deep balls, short balls and medium range. He contorted himself in every possible anatomical way to catch balls thrown to him. Since I feel Percy Harvin is overrated, and Bernard Berrian shouldn't even be "rated", so Sidney Rice's performance is even more amazing.

TE: Dallas Clark, Indianapolis

With Anthony Gonzalez out since early Week 1, and two unknowns taking over for him, Dallas Clark had to step up his production, and my God did he ever. With only one other great target for Manning to look for, teams tried to stop Clark. They stopped him to the tune of 100 catches, 1100 yards and 10 tds. Monster, Clark is just a monster.

LT: Ryan Clady, Denver
LG: Steve Hutchinson, Minnesota
C: Nick Mangold, New York
RG: Jahri Evans, New Orleans
RT: David Stewart, Tennessee

I know next to nothing about offensive line play. I know that some of these players are good, but I really can't truly judge offensive lineman in any substantive terms. If anything will kill my chances to be an NFL-head coach, my inability to know how to judge lineman will kill me.

LE: Dwight Freeney, Indianapolis

He had a monster year. It was probably his best year in his career, and when you consider that he had frequent hamstring problems throughout the year, his constant pressure makes it even more amazing.

RE: Jared Allen, Minnesota

He is an absolute beast. Sure, his stats outside the two Green Bay games aren't amazing, but those two games should be packaged and sent straight-away to Canton. The guy is just the best bull-rusher in the NFL.

NT: Jay Ratliff, Dallas

He is as important, if not more important, than DeMarcus Ware. His ability to constantly get into the backfield, and be double-teamed on blocks, allows all the other players around him to get better. The Dallas pressure scheme is completely dependent on his ability, and it has worked.

DT: Kevin Williams, Minnesota

At least one member of the Williams wall has to be here. One just has to.

OLB: LaMarr Woodley, Pittsburgh

He started off slowly, but became just a monster at the end of the year. 11.5 sacks in the last 11 games, and that coincided with Aaron Smith getting HURT. Just a monster. In my opinion, he was more effective than either DeMarcus Ware and James Harrison.

ILB: Patrick Willis, San Francisco

Nothing really to say here, but the guy just makes tackle after tackle.

OLB: Elvis Dumervil, Denver

He's essentially an edge, line-backer rusher, and he is the best at that in the NFL. 17 sacks. Pressures constantly. Even when the whole team was just falling apart at the seams, he was raising his game.

CB: Darrelle Revis, New York

Shut down top receiver after top receiver week after week. It started with him shutting down Andre Johnson and Randy Moss back-to-back. He completed the year with possibly forcing Chad to revert to "Johnson". THAT is a year.

CB: Charles Woodson, Green Bay

He had a monster year, with 9 ints, playing the type of corner he flashed in Oakland, and made him deserving of the 4th overall pick back in 1998.

FS: Darren Sharper, New Orleans

In a year that probably cemented his bronzing in the Hall-of-Fame, he set a record for INT-return yards, picking off nine passes returning three for touchdowns. He was the emotional and physical leader off the NFL's most attacking defense.

FS: Antione Bethea, Indianapolis

Pay this man, Bill Polian, pay this man. I'm going unconventional with two FS, mainly because there was no great SS this year, with Troy being hurt and Adrian Wilson being underwhelming. Antoine Bethea was amazing at limiting big plays, picking off timely passes, and really being the only constant in one of the league's best and most rotating defenses.


Well, there is the great Season-in-Review. I will come back with a breif playoff primer tomorrow, and picks on Friday.

I would just like to leave you with one playoff fact before you make picks: Before last year, the last time niether #1 seed made the Super Bowl was 1997.
98 - Broncos, 99 - Rams, 00 - Giants, 01 - Rams, 02 - Raiders, 03 - Pats, 04- Eagles, 05 - Seahawks, 06 - Bears, 07 - Pats. What is interesting is that there hasn't been a Super Bowl with both 1 seed (the last time that happened was 1993), but each year one 1 seed has made it, so most likely, Indianapolis or New Orleans make it.

Week 17 NFL Picks

Tough to make alot of these, becuase the "to rest or not to rest" becomes a real problem in the final weeks.

Indianapolis @ Buffalo (-8.5)

Vegas likes them to sit their players. I do to, with Manning playing two series, and then out. I think that Manning puts up at least 10 points, and the Painter Company puts up another 7. What people forget is that Buffalo is starting the immortal Brian Brohm, a guy who lost a job to Matt Flynn in Green Bay. That is the epitome of CFL-ready talent. I'm sorry, but I can't take a team starting Brohm as serious. This line is a joke.

Colts 17 Bills 13 (IND)


New Orleans @ Carolina (-7.5)

The Saints are starting Mark Brunell. In the words of GOB Bluth, "Come On!!". They will be the first one-seed EVER to enter the playoffs of a three game losing streak. That is an ignomanious label that the team that openly talked about playing their starters to go for 16-0 when they were 12-0 just needs. I would have thought that they would have wanted to play all-out, try to regain some of that momentum, some of the form that they showed against New England. The Cardinals did it last year, playing all-out locked into the 4 seed just to get some good vibes entering the playoffs, they came 7 yards away from winning the Super Bowl.

Saints 14 Panthers 27 (CAR)


Jacksonville @ Cleveland (-1)

Ok, is Cleveland really going to have a four-game winning streak. Jacksonville plays good in these meaningless games. Cleveland allowed Jamaal Charles to rush for 120. MoJo Drew is a Ferrari compared to Charles' Toyota Sequoia (I am 99.4% sure that that is spelled wrong). They would want to go out on a high-note.

Jaguars 24 Browns 17 (JAX)


Philadelphia @ Dallas (-3)

Call me a cynic. Call me a anti-Dallas basher. Call me a "I'm Jealous of Romo becuase He Bangs Hot Women" but I don't think Dallas is better than Philly. Dallas impressed me with their great performance against the Saints. Their o-line was great, their d-line, even better. Jay Ratliff, Marcus Spears and Igor Olshansky work wonders, sucking up blockers and still getting pressure. However, having said all that, their secondary can be beat. DeSean can beat it. There will be great symmetry in the Eagles winning this game, a win-and-your-division-champs game a year after thrashing the Boys in a win-and-you-are-a-wild-card game last year in Week 17. Why this was not flexed in is beyond me? The Eagles have just enough explosiveness to slow down that pass-rush, make the Cowboys try to play coverages which they are not too good at.

Eagles 31 Cowboys 24 (PHI)



Chicago (-3) @ Detroit

Uggh. What a game. Why did you give the sullen people of Detroit such a game to finish the year? Anyway, I spoke to two friends that are Bear fans, and both of them are quick to blame the o-line. Fine, the o-line sucks. But last year, in Denver, Cutler was still wild, throwing 18 interceptions. Then, my Broncos fan friend blamed the Defense for making Cutler force balls to play catch up. I'm gonna say it's mainly Cutler's fault. Cutler is like Favre (yeah, I know, the balls on me to say that). Give him a good defense, good line and good weapons, and the guy will be great, better than most in that situation. However, if one of those things go awry, he will turn into the "Screw it, I'm just throwing this ball up for grabs" Favre that roamed the land from 2004-2006.

Bears 24 Lions 13 (CHI)


New England @ Houston (-8)

I want New England to win. I would rather have them as the three-seed, which makes it impossible for the Colts to have to beat San Diego AND New England to win the Super Bowl. I think they will win, as well. I don't really believe the Belichick will rest people. For historical perspective, in 2006, the Pats were 11-4 and in a fight with the Colts for the 3 seed. Having to win to stay alive for the 3 seed, they played their guys full and won. That situation is similar, and in this case they don't even need the other team to lose. Win and they have the 3 seed. They play all out, and squeak it out. Andre Johnson will probably shred that team, but not enough.

Patriots 31 Texans 27 (NE)


Pittsburgh (-3) @ Miami

Just like when Patriots fans complained after going 11-5 with the easiest schedule ever created and missing the playoffs, Steeler fans are killing me right now. How do they complain when they lost to the Chiefs, Raiders and Browns. You lost your chance at the playoffs yourself. Patriots fans complained that 8-8 Chargers got in while they sat. Well, guess what, you lost to the Chagers 30-10. You had your chance, and you blew it. The Steelers, you had your chance, and you blew it.

Steelers 30 Dolphins 16 (PIT)


New York (n) @ Minnesota (-9)

The Vikings need this game, to have a hope at the two. In fact, a loss probably puts them at the four seed, which could lead to a first round game against the Packers. Now, as much as I want to see that matchup another time, I have a feeling that we will not see it. The Vikings are just better, and the Giants are missing both Jacobs and Bradshaw and are in full autopilot. It is over for them in the 2009 season. That's one prediction I would like to have back.

Giants 17 Vikings 23 (NYG)


San Francisco (-7.5) @ St. Louis

Steve Spagnuolo is foaming for the opportunity to get Ndamukong Suh. That is too much to pass up. Also, the 49ers are looking for their first non-losing season since 2002. That is a dual-incentive that makes this game pretty obvious to pick. Rams fans, don't worry, while you wait for Ndamukong Suh Draft Day, just pop in some "Greatest Show on Turf" tapes. Or, alternatively, just put the Cardinals playoff games in black-and-white and pretend Warner is still playing for the Rams. It could work.

49ers 21 Rams 10 (SF)


Atlanta (-2.5) @ Tampa Bay

Atlanta is looking for their first back-to-back winning season ever. The Buccaneers are trying to win three straight to end the year. These are interesting incentives. In this case, although I have semi-hated at Matt Ryan all year, he is easily better than any Josh that the Bucs can throw out there.

Falcons 27 Buccaneers 14 (ATL)


Green Bay @ Arizona (-2.5)

Tough game to predict. The Packers have really nothing to play for other than Wild-Card seeding. The Cardinals have, I guess, a two-seed to play for, however they will know if they are alive for that two seed, barring the Minnesota game. I think the Packers rest full-out, as they have nothing to play for, and may well play the Cardinals. Since I think the Vikings win, the Cardinals have no shot, so they probably rest up. Neither of these teams will want to play hard since they will likely play each other next week, so I will go with the team with what I think is a better backup (Leinart vs Matt Flynn).

Packers 14 Cardinals 20 (ARZ)


Kansas City @ Denver (-11.5)

Denver needs this game, but really, their track-record in winning must-win games is not good at all. They have done nothing to show that they win games they need to, blowing must-win games in 2006, 2008 and now in 2009. Kansas City is just awful, so the Broncos luck out there. If it were any other team (discounting the Rams), I would pick them, but either way, especially without the Broncos having Marshall, the Chiefs cover.

Chiefs 16 Broncos 24 (KC)


Baltimore (-10.5) @ Oakland

Oakland has been a real black hole for teams this year, as they have knocked off the Bengals and Eagles in Oakland. Both of those teams are a combined 21-9, so they can easily knock the Ravens off. However, the Ravens are a team that doesn't lose these games. They win the games they are supposed to win. They are supposed to win, and they need to win. They win.

Ravens 24 Raiders 10 (BAL)


Washington @ San Diego (-3.5)

The Chargers have nothing to play for, clinching that 2 seed. The Redskins have nothing to play for, because they never have anything to play for. I can't see Rivers playing too long, however Turner may want to keep the momentum of a 10 game winning streak entering the playoffs. This is one of the tougher games to pick, as even if Rivers sits, Volek and Naanee might be able to beat them anyway. I'll go with the Chargers, but I am not too happy about it.

Redskins 14 Chargers 20 (SD)


Tennessee (-4.5) @ Seattle

Seattle has packed it in, and Chris Johnson has records to play for. Enough said.

Titans 28 Seahawks 13 (TEN)


Cincinnati @ New York (a) (-10)

Vegas thinks the Jets will sit everyone as well. So, since I say the Pats win earlier, the Bengals have nothing to play for. They lay down, as they have alot of people nicked up, anticipating a rematch in one week. So, with all that said, the Jets get to luck in, but are they really good enough to cover this one, no. I say its a push.

Bengals 14 Jets 24 (push)


Enjoy the Games!

Week 17 NFL Power Rankings

Can't believe the regualar season is all most done. It has really been an interesting season. Here we go, psycho-breakdown style.

The Dregs of the League

32.) St. Louis Rams (1-14)

Nothing good to say about this team..... so I won't say anything. However, New York misses you, and Bill Sheridan is really, really wanting you as a boss again, or maybe he just wants you as a shield for when some New Yorker throws slabs of ice at his motionless face.

31.) Kansas City Chiefs (3-12)

They gave up a 98 yard drive to lose the game. That is hard to do, even when your team is already despicable in every level. If he was not Belichick's personal cabana boy, Pioli would be hammered for not making this team better in any tangible way since last year.

30.) Detroit Lions (2-13)

Somehow, they are alive for the last pick, and I'm telling you, if I am Schwartz, Drew the coffee boy is playing QB, not Drew Stafford. Ndamakong Suh is a Haynesworth clone, with a supposed ability to try hard every snap. Jim Schwartz is probably climaxing just at the sight of his frame.

29.) Washington Redskins (4-11)

God, why did I believe in this team at all? Does Mike Shanahan really want to inherit this mess.
Their o-line is average. Their QB is average. Their WRs are below-average (or old). Their defense is good, but Shanny wouldn't know defense if it smacked him in the ass (just ask Larry Coyer). Why? Why, when Chicago is screaming out for you.

28.) Seattle Seahawks (5-10)

What a mess. I bought into the love, but forgot they had a Mr. Collins look-a-like at the helm. That never ends well.

27.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-12)

Good to see them playing hard for Raheem Morris. They could be a landing spot for Cowher, and Morris is probably on the way out, but he has easily risen up to coach rankings (http://loungingpass.blogspot.com/2009/12/nfl-coach-rankings.html). At least he's past Perry Fewell.

26.) Buffalo Bills (5-10)

Speaking of which. That Perry Fewell Fever lasted exactly three games. That was dreadful. Considering that most of the "embarrasment to the league" teams have played much better of late (Tampa, Detroit to some point, Cleveland), it is strange to see what teams have replaced them. And I think losing 31-3 to an average team is cause to put them at those treacherous depths.

25.) Oakland Raiders (5-10)

I will never get this team right. They probably will go out and beat the Ravens now that everyone despises them again after that game against the Browns. I will say this, they are not that far off as people may think. They will be good long before that Pioli-orchestrated mess of a unit is.

24.) Cleveland Browns (4-11)

Take note. The Bengals started last year 1-11-1, and finished with three straight wins. The Browns started this year 1-11, and now have won three straight. Somehow, I don't have the same faith in Brady Quinn and the Browns to do a 2009 Bengals routine than I did in Cincy this year.

Spoilers (or possibly, building momentum that will inevitably be killed over the next eight football-less months)

23.) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-8)

They were a fun tease for 13 weeks. I was in Jacksonville over the last weekend with family. I didn't go out much, but I saw zero enthusiasm for a team that is at least in the mix. That game was on TV as it was a road game, but it got a worse rating than that nights Arby's Crap-a-Burger Bowl.

22.) Miami Dolphins (7-8)

This team has surprised me with the way it layed down the last two weeks. Houston doesn't win those games, against good physical teams. They beat them like Miss Havisham beat Pip.

21.) Chicago Bears (6-9)

Nice performance. However, they still gave up 30 points in one half and blew a 16-0 halftime lead. That is cause for concern, and probably the last nail in Lovie Smith's coffin. It was a nice run for Lovie, taking this team to the playoffs twice, once a Super Bowl, and keeping that team perennially in the mix, but time has come for that train to leave Chicago station.

20.) San Francisco 49ers (7-8)

I still don't think that Alex Smith is the answer, and I even less think that Mike Singletary is the answer. There have been some disastrous lows (the 45-10 home loss to Atlanta that made Bill Walsh stab himself in his grave), but they are around .500, and have improved.

19.) New York Giants (8-7)

God, that was a disaster. This team always took care of business. What happened to the 2008-First5Weeksof2009 Giants? That was the dominant franchise in the league. They were the team to beat. Now, Tom Coughlin is probably fuming again, turning his watch back another five minutes. Eli actually improved, but that running game went to hell. Super Bowl XLII probably bought Coughlin five years, but they better improve next year. This team is as talented as Dallas and Philly. The fact that they crashed and burned is something that needs to be adressed.

18.) Atlanta Falcons (8-7)

They have a shot at finishing over .500. That in itself is cause for celebration. Both of the miracle 2008 teams (Miami, Atlanta) fell off a bit, as expected by me. But in the end, they stayed around .500, setting both up for a good bounce-back year three. That NFC South should be interesting next year.

17.) Tennessee Titans (7-8)

Well, the 2009 resurgence lasted a nice eight weeks. Looks like that loss to Indy killed one half, and the Chargers were the second car, driving them into the ground, breaking into 12 pieces splattering blood and Chris Johnson's hair all over the place. I don't hear near the Chris Johnson is God talk these days.

16.) Carolina Panthers (7-8)

Good way to finish the season. Still not sure if Matt Moore is for real, but if he is, they are immediate contenders next year. DeAngelo and JStew are both in their prime, and Stewart will gain much from this time alone in the spot-light. If they ever get a good second WR, they are the 12-4 team they were in 2008 again.

I Mean, the Cardinals Did It Last Year!!!!

AFC

9.) Denver Broncos (8-7)

Now 2-7 in their last nine, they seem to be a team in free-fall. However, they play tough in most games and have had a diffucut shedule. They turned out to be the team we all thought they were, but that 6-0 start wasn't a total mirage. They will be the ultimate playoff fodder if they sneak in, but for a team that had legitimate thought at the top pick, a good year all around.

8.) New York Jets (8-7)

They probably luck in, especially if New England wins earlier in the day, but they are a team I would gladly like to come back to the Luke in round two. They are a mirage. Their defense is not great against premier competition, and Sanchez is a Shaun King type rookie, not a Flacco or a Roethlisberger.

7.) Pittsburgh Steelers (8-7)

If Houston loses, and one of the Jet/Raven combo loses, they sneak in. I'm sure that the round one team that they will play does not want any part of them, but they did not impress me at all in that Baltimore game. The Ravens gave them that game. It was simple Salvation Army charity-style. They are the champs, but with Troy being not at full strength, if at all in the playoffs, they will need a serious change to make a real run past the divisional round, if that.

6.) Houston Texans (8-7)

They will look back at some of those games and curse themselves. They have a shot at making one last statement, and either way, Kub-es probably keeps his job. I'll say this: I want to thank Matt Schaub for a full, good fantasy season. That was a good start of what might be a Drew Brees 2006-2009 type run the next four years.

5.) Baltimore Ravens (8-7)

They are a team that if they play the way they are capable, they can beat anyone. They still can hold any team to 17-24. Maybe they won't win playoff games 27-9 or 13-10 like last year, but they have enough firepower, especially with Ray Rice being a mini-Chris Johnson in his explosiveness, to beat teams 23-20 or 24-17.

NFC

6.) Dallas Cowboys (10-5)

There is enough there to make a run, but I just don't think they can score enough. That defense is great against the Redskins and Raiders of the world, but when they go to Arizona, or New Orleans (I know, I know, they already beat them) they will have to slow them down, and score, and I think when push comes to shove, it won't happen. The NFC is wide open, and I think that other than the team to follow I could see any team making it to Miami, but I think the Cowboys have the lowest cieling.

5.) Minnesota Vikings (11-4)

I cannot see them in Miami in Super Bowl XLIV, but I would pick them over the Cowboys, since they match up beautifully with them. They can still stop the run, and can still score, Carolina game aside. Also, all those people claiming for Favre-MVP and calling them the best team in football probably feel like Giant idiots, eh Jaworski??

4.) Green Bay Packers (10-5)

They probably scare every NFC team. They can play defense. They had their nightmare game in Pittsburgh. Every good team has one nightmare game (Colts: vs NE. NE: @ NO. NO: vs DAL. DAL: @ GB (or @ NYG). SD: @ PIT. CIN: @ MIN. MIN: the last four weeks), and they've had it. Their running game has really come on strong, which makes them twice as dangerous. Loud, loud out.

If One of Us Don't Win, then the NFL Playoffs is Essentially March Madness without the Co-Eds or the Cheating/Money-Grabbing Coaches

AFC

4.) New England Patriots (10-5)

Not gonna get sucked in by one performance against a dead-team. The Jags played their Super Bowl against the Colts, and had nothing left. That was embarrasing for them. Anyway, this team reaks of a team that will suck everyone in. They are the AFC's "You don't want to play this team come playoff time" team. SD would have been, but after 10 straight, I think everyone now knows that you don't want to play them. The only recent team of said label that won the Super Bowl was the 2005 Steelers. That's it. I still don't think they win a gunfight.

3.) Cincinnatti Bengals (10-5)

They will have emotion on their side, with Chris Henry still fueling them. They are a team much like the 2003 Patriots. However, the Pats were able to win their miracle games (the intentional safety against Denver, the goal-line stand at Indy) while the Bengals lost theirs (the Stokley game, the Oakland loss, Caldwell jet-propelled fumble at San Diego). They have only been truly outplayed twice. That is a sign of a good team. They will make noise, and I would seriously think about picking them again in San Diego.

2.) San Diego Chargers (12-3)

This run can't last forever, can it? That was impressive. I have to give them all the credit in the world. Now, after admitting that, I have to wipe myself of the vomit I just induced after making myself say such heinous things.

1.) Indianapolis Colts (14-1)

They still haven't been beaten at full strength. They still are the team to beat. One game does not change that. Also, it's not like their potential round 2 foes are really that scary, like Pittsburgh in 2005 or San Diego in 2007. Cincy and NE may be good, but neither is as good as those two teams. Plus, that dredge of Wild-Card teams is inevitably a whipping stick for SD or IND.

NFC

3.) Arizona Cardinals (10-5)

They still have that peak. Believe me, after possibly the Eagles they are the scariest team in the NFC. When they are on, they are almost unbeatable. They nuetered the Vikings so much that they have never recovered. Bryant McKinnie is still weeping in his sleep from the thought of the Cards game.

2.) Philadelphia Eagles (11-4)

Scary, scary, scary. No, not the ability of the Eagles. But the thought that everyone is solidly behind the "They are the favorite" line right now. Knowing Donovan McNabb's history in NFC Title Games, no Philly fan is sleeping easily.

1.) New Orleans Saints (13-2)

Don't want to knock them off yet. It happens. They had nothing to play for. They had already lost, taking away any 16-0 adrenaline. That was meaningless. It was a fluke. They were up 17-0. Sure, I am talking utter crap, and probably just trying to cover for picking them, and going full-force on the Saints bandwagon. I'll just say this, the '99 Rams (my Saints comparison all year) lost to the Lions. The Lions. It happens.


Playoff Projections

AFC

1.) Indianapolis Colts 15-1
2.) San Diego Chargers 13-3
3.) Cincinnatti Bengals 11-5
4.) New England Patriots 10-6
5.) Baltimore Ravens 9-7
6.) Denver Broncos 9-7

NFC

1.) New Orleans Saints 14-2
2.) Philadelphia Eagles 12-4
3.) Minnesota Vikings 12-4
4.) Arizona Cardinals 11-5
5.) Green Bay Packers 10-6
6.) Dallas Cowboys 10-6

Week 16 NFL Picks

Here we go. Short version, since Christmas-type activities and merriment beckon. Need to go around 12-4 (aka, pull a Manning - 12-4 at least for SEVEN straight years - to keep pace).

San Diego @ Tennessee (-3)

Tennessee, much like Cincinnatti, can give the Chargers trouble with their physicality. I finally figured out who the Chargers are. They are the 2003-2004 Colts. Great pass offense, little run offense when it is truly needed, and a pillow-soft defense against good, tough, physical football teams. At home, this formula works (witness last weeks slug-it-out win against Cincy), but on the road it can create problems. That Nashville crowd will be rocking, with the team finally at .500 and the short week kills teams, especially short week on the road, cross-country against a team fighting for its life.

Chargers 20 Titans 27 (TEN)


Seattle @ Green Bay (-14)

The Jim L. Mora era is coming to a crashing end. In the meantime, that supposed sturdy defense of the Packers is in need of a hug after giving up five-bills to Roethlisberger. Well, there is no better elixir to an ailing pass defense, than to play the Seahawks and their stable of average, backup lineman. Walter Jones, that beast is not coming through the door. AJ Hawk and Clay Matthews will likely get enough frequent-flyer miles flying to Hasselbeck's arms to take an offseason trip to Istanbul. Doner Kebabs, Baby!!!

Seahawks 13 Packers 34 (GB)


Oakland @ Cleveland (-3)

Come on, Oakland. Just get this one. They have been awful after each of their previous four wins. However, JaMarcus played a hand in all of them. People forget that the team was winning 13-6 at halftime. JaMarcus saved them from blowing a lead, not a heroic comeback. They can really get momentum going into that last-week mother-of-all-spoiler games next week against Baltimore. They are playing like a team that knows it missed opportunities earlier in the year (opportunites like shoving JaMarcus out of the team plane on the flight to New York - JaMarcus wouldn't die, as his gelatinous fat will act as a parachute, landing him comfortably among the cornfields of Iowa, where he will be among his own, the heffers!!). As for the Browns, unless Jerome Harrison becomes Jim Brown again, and Josh Cribbs returns two to the hizz-ice, don't see them making it three in a row.

Raiders 27 Browns 17 (OAK)


Kansas City @ Cincinnatti (-13.5)

The Chiefs just lost to the Browns at Arrowhead. They just allowed the aforementioned Jerome Harrison to rush for 286. Come on, this is stealing. Also, you just know Larry Johnson wants to stick it to that douche Haley. He just wants to run for 100, and smack a big kiss on Haley's wife sitting in row one.

Chiefs 10 Bengals 31 (CIN)


Buffalo @ Atlanta (-9)

This line is too high. Matty Ice and Turner weren't exactly killing last week. The Bills are very good at pass defense. They held their own, and really cost themselves the game against the Pats. They can go into the Georgia Dome, which will be a live mausoleum, fans greiving the loss of another Falcons season ending before the second weekend of January.

Bills 20 Falcons 24 (BUF)


Houston @ Miami (-3)

This is the toughest game of the week (outside of the IND game, where it is unbeknowst to me whether Manning is playing the game fully or not). These are two 7-7 teams, and they both have legitimate claims to the postseason. The Dolphins are one of the leaders of the 7-7 pack, while the Texans hold a tiebreaker only against the Titans. However, beating the Dolphins kills two birds. This is a game that the Texans, if they ever want to make the postseason, even be it next season, need to win. The Texans suck in showdown games, witness the dual Fails to the Colts and the loss on Monday Night hosting the Titans. All tough winnable games, all losses. They have to make it stop. Andre Johnson is an absolute man. Also, people are writing them off afther that really flukey 16-13 win over the Rams. A win is a win, they come back in a big way.

Texans 27 Dolphins 24 (HOU)


Carolina @ New York (n) (-7)

Carolina is a great running team. The Giants have alternated between '85 Bears and '08 Lions against the run. Not sure how that will play out. Jakle Delhomme has finally been put on IR, which will probably lend itself to every single Panthers player and fan feeling a giant weight of their shoulders. The Giants are in the thick of the race, and the Panthers "We Gotta Win or John Fox will Lose His Job" Game and Julius Peppers "Wait a Minute, I'm the Most Dominant Force in Football. I can Beat This Crap LT" Game is over for the month. That was last week. Not this one. But, this line feels a bit high for a team that rarely gets blown out, against a team that is better on the road. I hope new Giants Stadium is in a wind-resistant bubble.

Panthers 17 Giants 23 (CAR)


Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (-14)

This is becoming normal in length, so for games like this one, I will just quote that literary lexicologist, Chad Johnson (Ochocinco) (Hachi-Go): Kiss Da Baby. That's all you need to know. Just like Chad, I have no clue what that means, but in these type of games, it fits.

Buccaneers 14 Saints 41 (NO)


Jacksonville @ New England (-7.5)

Tough game. The Jags can play with anyone. They can run, which as shown by last week is another one of myriad problems with that New England defense. They can cover, and they can put up points and control the ball. They are a team that can give the Pats problems, as long as Garrard doesn't channel his inner Byron Leftwich.

Jagaurs 20 Patriots 23 (JAX)


Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (-2.5)

They're the defending champs, defending their home-turf. Troy might be back. And come on, we all want 5 8-7 teams and 5 7-8 teams entering Week 17 for those two wild-card spots. KISS DA BABY.

Ravens 16 Steelers 20 (PIT)


Denver @ Philadelphia (-7)

The hottest NFC team in the league is QB-ed by McNabb and coached by Andy Reid. Come on, they can't keep up this torrid pace from now through Jan. They need a game to reassure to their fans that they are still the Eagles. KISS DA BABY.

Broncos 17 Eagles 20 (DEN)


St. Louis @ Arizona (-14)

The Cards just don't get up for those teams. Maybe that is a legitimate criticism of Ken Whisenhunt, but they win most of them. He's still in my top-5 of coaches. Plus, Kurt Warner cannot expend total energy in every game. I would rather him play this one at a octane lower than the max, than do it against Green Bay in round one. As for the Rams, they have played well the last couple of weeks, and look for it to last another week.

Rams 19 Cardinals 27 (STL)


Detroit @ San Francisco (-13.5)

The coach takes his pants off. The team is QBed by Alex "Yeah, I know, my hands are small. You don't need to insinuate that it has anything to do with the size of my doberman, thank you" Smith. Megatron is Megatron. KISS DA BABY.

Lions 24 49ers 20 (DET)


New York (a) @ Indianapolis (-5.5)

This is tough. I say Manning goes all-out one more week, and plays a half, enough time to pad a 21-3 or 17-3 like lead, next week. The defense probably goes without Freeney and Mathis for a long time, but the Jets offense is not what scares me the least. Last home game until Jan 16-17. Please, they show up.

Jets 14 Colts 31 (IND)


Dallas (-7) @ Washington

Let's see. Everyone riding Dallas, the team that just beat the perfect Saints. However, Dallas is still the team that followed a beat-down of the 11-2 Giants last year with consecutive losses to the combined score of 77-30. That bandwagon is stuffed full like a "Joe's Lawn Service" truck in Miami. Washington, who always gets it up for the Cowboys, just got embarrased at home. That bandwagon is emptier than Bill Belichick's soul. KISS DA BABY.

Cowboys 21 Redskins 20 (WAS)


Minnesota (-7) @ Chicago

Cold, snow possible. Brett Favre has looked like excrement in both Arizona (the diametric opposite of Chicago in late-December) and Carolina (not exactly Siberia). Come on, he can't bring it 100%. However, Peterson can, and will. They need this game, because next weeks game will be against a desperate Giants team. They need the game to keep up with the Eagles for that 2 seed. They need this game. Cutler is a gone case this year. It's over for him in 2009. All he has to do is avoid 30 ints. That's it and call it a successful last two weeks. Matt Forte is evidently in witness protection somewhere in Idaho, while lucky fan winner #23 is playing RB.

Vikings 23 Bears 13 (MIN)


Enjoy the Games. More importantly, for my Christian friends, enjoy Christmas. For my non-Christian readers, enjoy break, and the last week of the '00s. Have fun.

Week 16 NFL Power Rankings

Didn't do a Monday Review. I went 10-6 in my picks, so I'm 20-12. I need to go 23-9 the next two weeks. Not likely, but I might be able to put a Titans like run.

Now, for the Power Rankings, to make this easier, I'll split the teams into three catagories: No Playoffs: Wild-Card/Playoff Fodder: Legitimate Title Contenders. When we get to Wild Card fodder, and Legit Title Contenders, I'll split them by conferences. It's weird, but with this incomprehensible surfeit of 7-7 teams, I feel like something has to be done.



Playoffs!?!?!!?!?!

The Dregs of the League

32.) Kansas City Chiefs (3-11)

Sure, the Rams have only one win. Then again, the Rams weren't just embarrased at home by the Cleveland Browns. To put it into perspective, I would definitely pick St. Louis, even with Keith Null (who I wrongly called Kraig last week. I'm sorry but really, the guy is Keith Null, how do you expect me to know that) over the Chiefs right now. I'm gonna say that the Scott Pioli, Todd Haley and Matt Cassel triumvirate will never smell the playoffs.

31.) St. Louis Rams (1-13)

Why did they ever change those uniforms. Sure, they are totally ghastly, and look like those yellow stripes are just yellow tape on blue tape, but they won a Super Bowl in those, and immediately changed them. That is no way to show love to the fashion-loving sectre of the football Gods.

30.) Detroit Lions (2-12)

Drew Stafford/Daunte Culpepper, I have never seen two mixed racial QBs look so similar. That was easily the worst performance by a team in a performance that will be universally hailed as a good performance in NFL history. The end is in sight, Lions fans, but you may need a telescope for that sight.

29.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-12)

Random dominant win in Seattle on Sunday. However, I have a feeling that it says alot more about where that Seattle franchise has gone to than it being a sign of some Buccaneer ressurection. Sure, the Raiders are the butt of more jokes, but looking at it seven years later, the Raiders are in a better position to win the Super Bowl than the Buccaneers are right now. And to me, that is all that matters.

28.) Washington Redskins (4-10)

That was just despicable last night. Other than the persuasive powers of Dan Snyder's wallet, what would draw Mike Shanahan to this team. Jason Campbell is average at best, however he gets no protection at all. The Devin Thomas/Malcolm Kelly combo has done nothing, they have an aging RB and TE, and have no depth on defense. What is appealling? At least Chicago has a good QB (I know calling Cutler a good QB is a strecth, but he just didn't forget how to play overnight).

27.) Cleveland Browns (3-11)

Josh Cribbs is the second greatest kick/punt returner ever. The Browns are evidently considering turning him into a Wide Receiver. You would think that they would learn from what happened to the Greatest kick/punt returner ever when they tried to turn him into a WR. BTW, his name rhymes with "Kevin Fester".

26.) Seattle Seahawks (5-9)

God, that was even more despicable than what the Redskins did. Good God. Now I see why Mike Holmgren picked Cleveland over Seattle. That is a mess. Mora Jr. is an awful, over-his-head head coach. He has to be right behind Eric Mangini in the "How did this coach ever get a second job" hall-of-fame.

Spoilers, but Really, Nothing More

25.) Buffalo Bills (5-9)

Seems like I overrated Perry Fewell's power. The Bills lost at home when they outrushed and outpassed New England on Sunday. They had every opportunity possible to win that game, or at least send it into overtime, but they just committed penalty after penalty. Imagine telling some Buffalo-ite after their 4th consecutive Super Bowl loss that they would lose 14 in a row to the ragged New England Patriots. They would probably do nothing, since they are from the most unconfrontational city in America, but they would definitely be mad on the inside.

24.) Chicago Bears (5-9)

Jay Cutler is not this bad. That is all I have to say. Maybe if you get him a real receiver, and stop this idiotic conversion of turning most dynamic and exciting player in the NFL into a 3rd-receiver, you may go back to the heights of 2006. I mean, Minnesota is not that much more talented. OK, maybe that last line was a lie, but, Philadelphia is not that much more talented, except for the receiver position.

23.) San Francisco 49ers (6-8)

......... (team didn't show up, their wrap-up is not showing up)

22.) Oakland Raiders (5-9)

They have beaten the Eagles (10-4), Steelers (7-7), Bengals (9-5) and Broncos (8-6). I'm not sure any team has beaten three teams with eight wins currently. Actually the Colts have (and probably some others, but I'm feeling lazy). If they get any passing game, and if they just get like 10% more consistent, they will make a serious Wild Card push next year. Honestly, knowing that they probably have given up on J-Russ (even with that sloppy good performance), makes me so much happier about the prospects of my first wife (NFL-team wise). The NFL is better off when the Raiders are good.

21.) Carolina Panthers (6-8)

Those were the Panthers I expected to show up the whole second half of the year. That 0-3 start just killed them, but they are 6-5 since. They still have a young, talented team (apart from QB). Maybe, just maybe, Matt Moore is that guy. If so, they will be right back at the top of the league next year. Also, Steve Smith is a baller.




20.) Atlanta Falcons (7-7)

Nice win. I did not expect them to pull that game out at all. The actually have a chance at getting their first back-to-back winning seasons in franchise history. Yes, that's right, they've never done that. The Colts have now seven consecutive 12 win season, and the Falcons have never even had two consecutive 9 win seasons.

I Mean, the Cardinals Did it Last Year!!

AFC

Ahhh, yes, the 7-7 Brigade (with some foxy 8-6 teams mixed in, for pure perversion). All of these teams are as likely as the next to make the playoffs. They are all pretty much 6-5 or 5-6 in conference. Some of them even play each other. This upcoming order is subject to massive change in the upcoming two weeks, like Kabeer level change.

12.) New York Jets (7-7)

The Jets, for my money, are the worst. They have a good defense, but it strikes me as one that is a tad overrated, having feasted on too many of the Falcons and Bills of the world. Their QB is still redefining "atrocious" and "catastrophic fall into the lower depths of hell" as we speak. And their coach is now pushing 4-bills. Not good, especially with the Colts, who will have to play Manning so Pey-Pey gets some timing down with the finally healthy Anthony Gonzalez. Look out, that bottom's about to drop.

11.) Denver Broncos (8-6)

That bottom has long dropped. Mother of God, was that pitiful. The Raiders running game, the most variant good running game in the NFL, ran through them like they were a daisy patch. They blew a 6 point lead to JAMARCUS RUSSELL. I cannot believe that this team hooked me in. I thought they would go 2-14. Well, you know what. Screw them. For all I know, those first six wins were all fixed, just so no loony Denver-ian didn't snipe Josh McDaniel's and force-feed Kyle Orton his own beard. They are 2-6 in my books, which makes me close to correct.

10.) Jacksonville Jaguars (7-7)

They impressed me Thursday Night. Of course, they had everything to play for at home against a team with nothing to play for, but still, that was impressive. Reminded me alot of the Week 17 Pats/Giants game in 2007. However, I bet my whole life the Jaguars are not playing in Super Bowl XLIV, like those Giants did. Also, am I the only one who thinks that MoJo Drew is kind of a douchy prick.

9.) Miami Dolphins (7-7)

Heartbreaking loss. Of all the 7-7 teams, they are the crucial one. They play two other 7-7's (hosting both HOU and PIT), and can either make the playoffs by sweeping out, or giving those two hope. Why do I feel they will all end up 8-8 just to screw with the minds of the public. Honestly, that "Playoff Clincher Scenarios" column for Week 17 is going to be longer than Thucydides' Polleponesian War (Oh, Thucydides, how I wish I could meet you and cut off your fingers, dip them in your own excrement, and serve them to you, fondue style).

8.) Houston Texans (7-7)

The ultimate dark horse. Two tough games left, with a trip to Miami followed by hosting the Pats. Now, the Pats will have sown up tha division, but will probably be playing for the third seed. The third seed nets them a trip to San Diego, while the fourth nets them a trip to Indianapolis (or SD). My guess is that the Pats would rather get the 3 seed, so they will be trying. This all leads me to this: I'm pretty sure that even if they win out, they probably don't get it, but they will be a huge thorn in the side of New England.

7.) Pittsburgh Steelers (7-7)

Boy, that Steeler defense is just plain bad. Has a defense ever fallen further in just one year. That was embarrasing. They cannot get near the pass-rush of last year, and that back-end resembles Florida's in that SEC Title Game (no game since Super Bowl XLII has given so much joy to see a team go down). Troy Polamalu cannot mean this much. It's not possible, unless he is hiding HGH in that hair of his.

6.) Tennessee Titans (7-7)

That was a gutty win against two desperate teams. It says so much about Jeff Fisher as a coach that they can get to .500 after that 0-6 start. However, it says more about just how good these Colts are that they are the only team to beat the Titans in the last 8, and not only did they beat Tennessee, they were leading 27-10, before the Titans got a garbage time TD. OK, I'm done heaping praise on the Colts, until the Colts part.

5.) Baltimore Ravens (8-6)

They just feast on these bad teams. Somehow, their defense is right back up to number two in points allowed. They are a scary proposition for that 3-4 seed who has to play them. Joe Flacco has really gotten his level of play back up after that midseason swoon. Ray Rice is second only to Chris Johnson on the "Orgasmingly high Excitement Generator of an NFL-Player-ma-tron". Good team, dangerous round one, but probably not as good as the 6 seed Ravens from last year.

4.) New England Patriots (9-5)

This may be the Patriots hater putting them in this group, but I don't see why they should be as good as the top-3 in the AFC. Sure, they are technically ranked ahead of the Bengals, but if those two teams played tomorrow in some nuetral site, I'm taking the Bengals. Brady just looks off. That was an inexplicably bad performance. The Weather wasn't even that bad. They tried that whole "We'll show you, NFL, for doubting (in this case) Moss" vengeance shit that was so effective in 2007. What did it generate: 5 catches and 70 yards for Moss and a 17-10 win. God, if that's the angry Pats, sign me up. However, as you will see in the upcoming list, I do not want them coming to Indy in round 2.

(Quickie side-bar rankings)
Fear Rankings of these teams on the prospect of them coming into Indy in round 2
8.) Jets (Child Please)
7.) Jaguars (Child Please^2)
6.) Dolphins (They lost when they played perfectly in Week 2)
5.) Ravens (Nowhere near as good against actual competition)
4.) Titans (Chris Johnson is a Greek God)
3.) Pats (They're the Pats)
2.) Steelers (They're the Champs, and they did it to us in 2005)
1.) Texans (They just scare me. Going 3-0 against a team is tough)

NFC

7.) Dallas Cowboys (9-5)

I know, I know. I'm knocking them down after a franchise-changing win. Well, I feel like I have reason. Washington may no longer be tough (I mean, they looked like a Division-3 school against the Giants), but with a one game lead, and having been swept by the Giants, that Week 17 game looks scary. The Eagles will probably still be alive for the second seed, so they won't lay down. That will be serious. One game does not a difference make. Last year, they beat the 11-2 Giants in Week 15, and then lost their next two games 77-30.

6.) New York Giants (8-6)

That was impressive. The Redskins were playing pretty well the last couple of weeks, and they did everything short of making the Redskins play the role of the catcher last night. They were so far superior. That is the team that ran roughshod through the league through 13 Weeks last year. Eli Manning quietly is having a very good statistical year. The defense seems to have some swagger back. Hell, Jacobs is head-hunting Albert "I once stomped on a man's face" Haynesworth. Go get them, Gotham-ites.

5.) Green Bay Packers (9-5)

So much for that "Good lord, that Packers defense in FIERCE" sandstorm that was whirling up. They got pressure on Roethlisberger, but pressure is secondary to the simpler things of covering people. Aaron Rodgers continued his good year, and I'm pretty sure he is now outperforming Favre with a slightly weaker supporting cast. I am pretty sure Minnesota wants no part of them come round two (one??).

If One of Us Don't Win, then the NFL Playoffs is Essentially March Madness without the Co-Eds or the Cheating/Money-Grabbing Coaches

AFC

3.) Cincinnati Bengals (9-5)

That was a great performance. I really want to see the rematch in the divisional round, but it looks like we're locked into Pats/Chargers (unless Santa answers my call and the Pats get knocked off in Round 1). The finally decided to let Palmer rip, and they exposed what is an above-average secondary. Chad looks like a man-possessed, and seeing from 2003-2007, that is not a one-game thing. Look for this team to win out, and gather steam heading into the playoffs where they will probably be under-dogs against a Baltimore team who they swept.

2.) San Diego Chargers (11-3)

I'll admit it, these are not the 2007-2008 Chargers. These are the exact opposite. Statistically, this is not a great team. However, they now win those big-time games against good competition. They rise to the occassion. They may make it look ugly, and LT may still be cryogenically frozen, with a CGI-d hologram taking his place every Sunday, but they just win. I was wrong, San Diego.

1.) Indianapolis Colts (14-0)

What more can Peyton do. 7 4th quarter comebacks, and to think people considered Brady the better clutch player?!?!?! Two of his top-3 targets from last year are gone, and were replaced by a mormon and a player from Mount Union. What does he do: lead the team swimmingly. Honestly, seeing Manning play QB is like watching Eddie Van Halen play guitar. Just soak it all in. It won't last forever. Manning will eventually retire, like Eddie will eventually have a catfight with David Lee Roth, but while it is here, there is nothing better. Also, that defense is still something. Sure, they were smashed for 3 quarters, but that was with Freeney and Mathis playing sparingly. Those two played much of the 4th quarter, and the Jags were scoreless. Now, it's all up to Caldwell to see whether we can have a second 16-0 team in three years.

NFC

4.) Minnesota Vikings (11-3)

I was right, they would have to fight for the 2 seed, I just picked the wrong team to wrestle it away. What was that? At least losing to Arizona, when Arizona is playing on beast-mode is defendable. Getting toad-smacked by Carolina?? That is just too much. Brett Favre wasn't even the 4-int Favre. What happened to that offensive line. I guess Bryant McKinnie isn't the greatest LT since Ogden, as Peter Kings was hailing him as. I guess Adrian Peterson is not Walter Payton incarnate. They are still a good team, and I guess they can hold on to that 2-seed, but believe me, teams are lining out through the door for the prospect of going there in round two and not the Superdome (or Philly, or even Arizona).

3.) Arizona Cardinals (9-5)

I'll say this. On my teams with the highest ceiling list (which I will rank my top-5 at the end of the power-rankings (I know, I know, so many rankings)) the Cards are very, very close to the top. They have a level that very few teams can match. Now, they never seem to want to reach it, unless they are playing a good team, but that isn't too worrying come playoff time. They will be a tough out, as they are vastly better defensively this year than last. Warner has been a bit off since the Vikings game, though. On the flip side, Beanie Wells gives them great balance.

2.) Philadelphia Eagles (10-4)

They are who we thought they were. I thought this team would be one of the better NFC teams (3rd, behind the Giants and the Pack (oops)). McNabb looks like he did back in 2002. DeSean Jackson is creeping up on the "Holy Fuck, Did He Just Do That!?!?" list, and the running game has stayed surprisingly average without Westbrook. Also, let's not forget the job of Sean McDermott, who filled Shaq-sized shoes replacing the late Jim Johnson. That was no easy task, and he is passing with merit. (As a comparison, just look at the job Bill Sheridan has done filling in for Spags, and Johnson's shoes were twice as big.)

1.) New Orleans Saints (13-1)

Sure, they lost one game, but the biggest problem with people trying to analyze the NFL is taking too much stock from one game. It happens. Other than the '72 Dolphins (and up to now, the '09 Colts) everyone has a bad game. Now, if they don't mercilessly destroy the Bucs this week, then I'll think about moving them, but they are still the team to beat in the NFC.

Projected Playoff Seeding:

AFC
1.) Indianapolis Colts (15-1)
2.) San Diego Chargers (12-4)
3.) Cincinnati Bengals (11-5)
4.) New England Patriots (10-6)
5.) Dont Have The Mental
6.) Capacity to Work These Two Out

NFC
1.) New Orleans Saints (14-2)
2.) Philadelphia Eagles (12-4)
3.) Minnesota Vikings (12-4)
4.) Arizona Cardinals (11-5)
5.) Green Bay Packers (11-5)
6.) New York Giants (10-6)

The Highest Ceiling Ranking

5.) Pittsburgh Steelers - Troy makes a difference, and their ceiling is a slightly less-good version of the 2008 Super Bowl Champions. If they find their ceiling, I hope to God two other 9-7 teams make it in.

4.) Philadelphia Eagles - They can be explosive offensively, and pressure defensively. Only weakness, no real running game, and that defensive back-end is suspect.

3.) Arizona Cardinals - Witness that Minnesota game. Their defense can be dominant if they want. Their offense, especially the Fitz-Boldin-Warner hook-up can be deadly. They are a team who, when they want to, can beat any team in the league.

2.) New Orleans Saints - Their ceiling is that team that mercillesly clubbed the baby-seal that was the Patriots on MNF. This team has the ability to be the 2007 Pats, regular season version.

1.) Indianapolis Colts - Their ceiling is the 1989 49ers, who outscored their playoff competitions 126-26.

Yes, the marathon, Simmons-esque in length, power rankings is done.

Week 15 Picks

With the dual death of Chris Henry and the fact that I have finals, can't really spend all this time on writing this. Of course, I spent mental time going over the slate of games, but that can be done without the handcuff of a computer.

Anyway, the games:

Indianapolis (-3) @ Jacksonville

Gotta believe they will go all out. Mathis and Freeney will be limited, but the Manning Co. will be at full strength, and that should be enough. This is a night game, and Manning is 17-3 in night games going back to 2003.

Colts 31 Jaguars 20 (IND)


Dallas @ New Orleans (-7.5)

Really, if this were a small-market good but not great team against New Orleans (say, Miami), this line is 13. They are just too good in that dome, especially on primetime. Manning will make an MVP statement Thursday, Brees will have to answer. Those Cowboys just cannot get it done in December.

Cowboys 17 Saints 35 (NO)


Miami @ Tennessee (-5.5)

Big line, especially with a team who can stop the run, and is a tough-as-nails foe. Miami rarely gets blown out, and Tennessee doesn't blow teams out, at least those not QB-ed by Kraig Null. Gotta go with the gut, and the gut tells me that Miami is one of the six best teams in the AFC.

Dolphins 23 Titans 20 (MIA)


New England (-7.5) @ Buffalo

Moss is dogging it. Brady is slightly hurt. Defenses are routinely holding them in the 20s in normal conditions. Snow is in the air for Buffalo, and at least cold, cold weather. (When I say snow, I don't mean Baltimore/DC level snow, but flurries). The Bills are playing hard for Perry Fewell, and an interim coach can do nothing better than beat a divisional foe fighting for a playoff spot.

Patriots 20 Bills 24 (BUF)


Arizona (-14) @ Detroit

I doubt Arizona turns it over 7 times. I doubt it matters.

Cardinals 38 Lions 14 (ARZ)


New York (a) (-7) @ Atlanta

No Ryan, no Turner against a defense that feasts on average offenses. The Jets can be beaten defensively by a good team, but against the Falcons/Chris Redman-level dregs of the league, they will make Redman turn Blue (Yeah, I'm that busy, that is the level of jokes this week!!).

Jets 27 Falcons 14 (NYJ)


Cleveland @ Kansas City (-2)

I want to pick Cleveland, but Todd Haley's temper would actually kill someone if they drop this one. Also, I think it is time to call Matt Cassel a bum, and a product of Randy Moss, which puts him in the same level of a 37-year old Cunnincham, Jeff George and Culpepper. I really have no idea. Mangini is probably coaching for his job, with Czar Holmgren staring at him.

Browns 27 Chiefs 24 (CLE)


Houston (-14) @ St. Louis

Houston, somehow, can still sneak into the playoffs, and now, when they are the biggest longshot, they will go on their run and save Kubiak's job. Here's a prediction, and cast it in stone: If Kubiak stays, they win 11 games next year, minimum.

Texans 41 Rams 17 (HOU)


Green Bay @ Pittsburgh (-.5)

The Pack's bandwagon is getting a little too crowded. They are a good team, but they need to drop one to get all this "They are the only team with the defense to beat the Saints" garbage out. Also, come on. The 'Burgh can't lose 6 in a row!! Not happening.

Packers 16 Steelers 21 (PIT)


San Francisco @ Philadelphia (-7.5)

Really, this should be alot higher. Philly is really, really good, and the 49ers somehow made a game where they were giftwrapped 7 turnovers interesting in the fourth quarter. An Owl couldn't see through that smokescreen of a win.

49ers 14 Eagles 31 (PHI)


Chicago @ Baltimore (-11)

I would say this is a tad high, but the snow kills this. Flacco is yet to play in a snow game. Cutler spent the last three years in Denver. I'll say he has the snow advantage. In a blizzard-like snow, throwing is easier than running, and that also helps the Bears, as the Ravens depend on the run more, while Matt Forte is now allowed to spend another week in Guantanamo.

Bears 20 Ravens 24 (CHI)


Cincinnatti @ San Diego (-7)

So, Ochocinco want to wear 15 in honor of Chris Henry. I love it. Roger Goodell, that never-ending dipshit, does not. He will fine Ochocinco. Thankfully, the NFLPA has already said that they will pay Ocho's fine. I love it! Roger Goodell is an idiot, straight and true. He really has done nothing good for the league. The salary cap is on the way out, he wants to play games in London where they could give two shits for the NFL, and wants to ludicrously expand the schedule. Why is he commissioner?

Now, about the Henry situation. It's a real tragedy. He was turning his life around, recommitting himself to his three kids, and being the family man he wasn't three years ago. It is just horrible that three kids will grow up without the father that they deserve and the father that Henry was working so hard to be. RIP Chris Henry, and the Bengals will honor you well.

Bengals 24 Chargers 14 (CIN)


Oakland @ Denver (-14)

This strikes me as too high, and if Gradkowski was starting, I might have even called up Mexico and placed some dinero on the ol' Silver and Black. However, Charlie Frye is starting, the guy who was onced traded to Seattle, and was behind Seneca Wallace on the QB depth chart. That guy. However, the Raiders are in total "ABJ" mode. That's "Anybody but JaMarcus".

Raiders 20 Broncos 30 (OAK)


Tampa Bay @ Seattle (-6.5)

Really, a truly awful game. How the mighty have fallen in Seattle.

Buccaneers 14 Seahawks 27 (SEA)


Minnesota (-9) @ Carolina

Isn't this why flex scheduling was invented. CIN @ SD was not a protected game, so why on earth was that not flex-ed in. This Favre ball-washing has to stop. There is no reason for this to be the primetime games. None. However, since it is, gotta believe the Panthers get it up a little bit. I mean, John Fox has to have pride, and I know Steve Smith does.

Vikings 27 Panthers 20 (CAR)


New York (n) (-3) @ Washington

Not a terrible MNF game, considering the Redskins have been playing better, and will probably be in great spirits after being enshackled from that mafia boss Cerratto. However, the Giants are a team steaming from last weeks win, and since Devin Thomas does not scream "DeSean Jackson" I'll have to go with them.

Giants 28 Redksins 20 (NYG)


Enjoy the Games.

RIP Chris Henry.