The #3 Athlete of the 2000s: Zinedine Zidane

Zizou

I'm writing this a week late, five days and seven years after Mr. Zidane played his final game, and made one final mark on the pitch in international football. Five years have passed since Zinedine Zidane, in which the world coronated four different players as his heir, as "The Best Player in the World." The crown went from Ronaldinho to Kaka to Cristiano Ronaldo from 2005-2008, all three having dizzying heights, especially the first of the three (we are all victims of forgetting just how good Ronaldinho was in his too-short prime). The crown finally landed upon Lionel Messi, and he's had it for three years running. Football has finally found a new heir, but it will take a while before anyone reaches the ridiculous heights that Zidane reached for ten years from 1996-2006. Since this is a best of the decade ranking, here is the short list of achievements that Zidane has that AREN'T included in this decade:

- 1998 World Cup (including two goals in the final)
- 1998 FIFA Player of the Year
- 1998 Ballod D'Or Winner
- 1996-97 & 1997-98 Champions League Finalist (with Juventus)
- 1995-96 UEFA Cup Finalist (with Bordeaux - a one man team)
- 1996-97 & 1997-98 Seria A Titles

Again, all of this is, in the case of this ranking, irrelevant. All of this preceded Zidane v 2.0, the player that made a superstar into a legend. Zidane is the odd player who's prime does not perfectly align with a particular decade. Michael Jordan actually had this problem as his true prime was from mid-80's to mid-90's (luckily for him the rest was amazing anyway). Zidane had five years at the end of the 90's and six years to start the 2000s that were the stuff of legend. Luckily for him, he did enough in those six years to better all but two athletes. Zizou, the man who made millions pour onto the Champs Elyssee, the man who made one of the sickest goals happen, the man who was the richest transfer fee of all time for 8 years and still holds it if inflation is counted, the man, the myth and the legend. Zinedine Zidane is the 3rd best athlete of the 2000s, despite him not playing a minute of the last 4 years.

What Lionel Messi does is easy to explain. He's incredible with the ball and has arguably the greatest left foot ever. He keeps the ball tied to his foot like it was literally tied to his foot. He is nearly impossible to take down and has every shot in the book. That is what Lionel Messi is, nothing more and nothing less. He does it extremely well, but that is what he does. You couldn't truly describe what Zidane did on the field other than saying it was magic. I'll make an effort to try anyway. Zidane had the ability to impact the game without scoring, but then again all defenders have that too. More so, Zidane had the ability to impact the game seemingly without moving, by just getting the ball and passing it off to streaking teammates in advantageous positions. Zidane was one of the most inventive passers in football history. Other than Peyton Manning, there might not have been a better quarterback in all sports.

Maestro is often the word we here associated with Zidane, and in a way it is perfect. He was the master orchestral conducter managing and directing the other 9 players on the pitch (I'm guessing he had no impact on the goalie, but then again if Tom Brady can make his kickers play better...) with ease. He rarely ever missed a pass, ever. What seperates him from modern pass-masters like Xavi Hernandez is that his passes weren't tiki-taka ones that went five feet, but sweeping, looping passes offsetted by back-heels and two-foot combinations. Zidane was everything a central midfielder should be, but limiting him to just that title would be selling Zizou way too short.

Zidane was also a beast with the ball, as rarely was any player able to strip him of it one-on-one. He didn't do it with the fleet footwork of Lionel Messi, or the galloping strides of Cristiano or the original Ronaldo before him, but with true magic. The magic was that he made the most ridiculous things like his famed spin to aerial kicks look easy and simple. He made the game look easy, like it was something anyone can do, and that is the height of his brilliance. Zidane made what was incredible look commonplace, look ordinary and all-the-more, because what he did that looked incredible was actually utterly insane.

It is still hard to believe it actually happened, and harder to believe how forgotten a moment it is outside of football fan circles. Real Madrid at the final peak of their galactico powers, was tied in the Champions League Final, the cap to the 2001-02 season. Zidane, in his first season in Real Madrid following that 75 Million Euro transfer fee, had already lost two Champions League Finals with Juventus - one to Real Madrid who had won two of the last four before Zidane joined. Zidane needed to make his mark and he did it with a 75 million euro goal. Solari flung the ball airborn in a high, tight arc, into the back of the 18-yd box. The ball was suspended in midair and every player on the pitch awaited its return to earth. Zidane didn't wait but readied himself, and then in one smooth move, swung his left foot (off-foot, it should be mentioned) perfectly into the descending ball, connecting with a sharp volley that slammed into the back of the net. The game was tied no longer.



Zidane had already won another FIFA Player of the Year award in 2000, but this was the real start to his decade. Tragically he got hurt in the run up to the 2002 World Cup and missed France's first two games, which were soulless goalless games. Zidane came back with a vengeance putting together another magnificent season to win the 2003 FIFA World Player of the Year spearheading Real to the La Liga title and managing to be the best player on the field during a Champions League tie with Manchester United, even with Ronaldo getting a hat trick. Zidane then scored the only goal in Real's tough semifinal exit to Juventus. In 2004, Zidane then led France to the late stages of the Euro 2004 tournament with a dramatic brace against England. First was an incredible free kick to tie the game in the 88th minute, a kick so brilliant, goalie David James didn't move an inch. He couldn't, frozen by its brilliance. Then he finished it off with a penalty kick to the collective groins of millions of Englishmen. Later in 2004, Zidane got arguably his most impressive honor.

In 2004 UEFA did a poll of the Best European Footballers of the Past 50 Years to cap its 50th Anniversary celebration. Zidane topped the poll, nudging out Franz Beckenbauer. Before people cry that there was some recency-bias, it should be mentioned that the next highest placing current player was Paolo Maldini at #10. Of course, this was a European only list, so it did not include Pele or Maradona or Ronaldo, but the message was clear, Zidane was the best European Football of the last 50 years......... and this was before his magical 2006 World Cup.

The French National Team's qualification for the 2006 World Cup was going about as well as the plight of the roid-free Tour de France riders. Zidane, who had already retired from international football, was begged to come out of retirement, to help his country. After Zidane returned on September 3rd 2005, France didn't lose another game until after he retired again (losing in penatlies is considered a draw). France ended up qualifying comfortably, and the 2006 World Cup was set and going in Zidane let it be known it would be his swansong from all football, at what a beautiful coda it was.

The group stage for France wasn't anything great, but the four successive knockout games were an epic all-to-themselves. First against Spain, a team who had the foundation of the same team that would dominate international football for the six years after the World Cup, Zidane controlled the game beautifully, many times showing off his trademark passing and eye for the game. His whipping free kick led to the game winning goal, and then in stoppage time added the capper, with his first goal in the World Cup, a goal that is often missed but Zidane made look incredibly easy. A date with Brazil was next.

Zidane made his first ever international statement against Brazil, scoring two headers to win the World Cup. In fact, since 1994, the only World Cup game Brazil lost was that World Cup Final. Coming into the game, the Selecao were on a roll and were the favorite. Then again, no one really realized that Zidane had one last breathtaking game again. Difficult made easy. The 2006 quarterfinal perfected that theme as he danced his way around the Brazilians. Pele later called him "the only Brazilian on the field." His free kick again set up the only goal, but Zidane controlled the match (though I should not France's defense was great throughout the tournament), one that was nowhere as close as the 1-0 scoreline.

The semifinal against Portugal was more of the same, highlighted with a picture perfect penalty kick. Eight years after his brace sent millions into the Champs Elysee, Zidane was back again in the World Cup Final, this time against Italy. The Final was marked by three incidents for Zidane. First was his second consecutive penalty kick goal. A kick so sublime, so insane that few would try it. Zidane chipped the ball so perfectly in bounced off the bottom of the cross bar slowly dropping behind the goalline. The second was his last great moment, a flying header that nearly broke a 1-1 tie in extra time. Gianluigi Buffon had to use every inch of his springing frame to knock it over the bar. The final one was the most memorable, the infamous headbutt, Zidane's act of vigilante justice.

The act itself was admittedly disgraceful, but was not really out of character. Zizou played the beautiful game about as beautiful as it ever has, but that grace belied a true temper. Zidane has a lot more bad tempered moments and red cards than most great footballers. His temper is his one true weakness, and it showed at the worst moment, fifteen minutes before the end of his career. But let the headbutt not spoil Zidane's incredible tournament, one that netted him one last award for the best player of the tournament. Zidane's play against Brazil should be sent straight to the Smithsonian, the equivalent of what Manning's insane game against the Jets in last years AFC Championship game was. Zidane was at his magnificent best in the biggest tournament in the world.

Zidane never played again after the headbutt, but his legacy is still set in stone. Just listen to the experts: "Zidane is one of the 5 greatest players in history, a truly magnificent player" (Beckenbauer). "Zidane is the greatest talent we've seen in the last 20 years (1986-2006), and it was an honour to be his manager" (Juventus manager Marcello Lippi who coached Italy in the headbutt game). "Zidane's the best player I've ever seen" (Roberto Carlos). "Technically, I think he is the king of what's fundamental in the game - control and passing" (Michel Platini). "There's never been anyone quite like him, anyone so magical" (Paolo Maldini).

Zizou was a true magician, and his best magic act might have been his quiet disappearance. It is hard to describe why Zidane isn't remembered as greatly as he should, especially since when it comes time for any true expert or football fan blog to do any sort of top-10 list, or have an irrational Zidane vs Ronaldinho or Zidane vs Messi thread, the cobwebs that lie over Zidane's legacy are dusted off and displayed. Maybe it is because it is all too recent. Maybe because Messi is doing splendid things, but Zidane isn't given the Maradona treatment yet. He will because he deserves it. My guess is his high-profile roles in the football business will only help. Zidane was the face of Qatar's bid for the 2022 World Cup. Zidane is now the sporting director of Real Madrid, a job Jose Mourinho wanted Zidane to get, making him the second most powerful man at Real Madrid after Florentino Perez. Zidane realizes that the world has gotten over the headbutt, that it is time to make that legacy eternal.

I don't want to really get into a Zidane vs Messi debate, partly because Messi isn't done and partly because they play different positions (Zidane vs Ronaldinho makes more sense, but that argument is as dumb as Barry Bonds vs Sammy Sosa but without the roids). That said, here is what I know: Messi has played his entire career with Xavi and Iniesta and that cartel in Barca. Zidane did have great teammates at both Juventus and Real Madrid, but not to the same effect. We haven't seen what Messi can do without those two men, and what evidence we have (World Cup mostly), isn't exactly impressive for Leo. As for Zidane, here are the results that France has put up in major competitions since 1998:

1998: Won World Cup (With Zidane)
2000: Won Euro 2000 (With Zidane)
2002: Lost in group stage (Zidane played 1 out of 3 games)
2004: Lost in Quarterfinals (With Zidane)
2006: Lost in World Cup Final (With Zidane)
2008: Lost in group stage (Without Zidane)
2010: Lost in group stage (Without Zidane).

France has done nothing without Zidane, and everything with him. France had other great players in this era like Thierry Henry, Lilian Thuram, Patrick Vieira and Claude Makalele, but none of those guys could do jack without Zizou, without the magic.

In his final game for Real Madrid, his final game in club football, Real Madrid sent him out like a king, with the whole stadium holding up posters of Zidane's shirt and each player having "Zidane 2001-2006" stiched at the bottom of their shirt. Zidane responded with a sublime header, a goal in his final game. The header was tough in actuality, with Zidane lightly arcing the ball off his head, almost placing it with his head rather than butting it, as it flew softly over the goalie. It was difficult but made to look simple, just like everything else in Zizou's magical career.

The #3 Athlete of the 2000s: Zinedine Zidane

(I was going to release this when I first wrote it on July 14th, but I was in India, land of the slow internet connection. Because of this, uploading the videos was near impossible, and since Zidane is basically impossible to capture in writing, the videos were absolutely necessary).


The #3 Athlete of the 2000s: Zinedine Zidane


I'm writing this a week late, five days and seven years after Mr. Zidane played his final game, and made one final mark on the pitch in international football. Five years have passed since Zinedine Zidane, in which the world coronated four different players as his heir, as "The Best Player in the World." The crown went from Ronaldinho to Kaka to Cristiano Ronaldo from 2005-2008, all three having dizzying heights, especially the first of the three (we are all victims of forgetting just how good Ronaldinho was in his too-short prime). The crown finally landed upon Lionel Messi, and he's had it for three years running. Football has finally found a new heir, but it will take a while before anyone reaches the ridiculous heights that Zidane reached for ten years from 1996-2006. Since this is a best of the decade ranking, here is the short list of achievements that Zidane has that AREN'T included in this decade:

- 1998 World Cup (including two goals in the final)
- 1998 FIFA Player of the Year
- 1998 Ballod D'Or Winner
- 1996-97 & 1997-98 Champions League Finalist (with Juventus)
- 1995-96 UEFA Cup Finalist (with Bordeaux - a one man team)
- 1996-97 & 1997-98 Seria A Titles

Again, all of this is, in the case of this ranking, irrelevant. All of this preceded Zidane v 2.0, the player that made a superstar into a legend. Zidane is the odd player who's prime does not perfectly align with a particular decade. Michael Jordan actually had this problem as his true prime was from mid-80's to mid-90's (luckily for him the rest was amazing anyway). Zidane had five years at the end of the 90's and six years to start the 2000s that were the stuff of legend. Luckily for him, he did enough in those six years to better all but two athletes. Zizou, the man who made millions pour onto the Champs Elyssee, the man who made one of the sickest goals happen, the man who was the richest transfer fee of all time for 8 years and still holds it if inflation is counted, the man, the myth and the legend. Zinedine Zidane is the 3rd best athlete of the 2000s, despite him not playing a minute of the last 4 years.

What Lionel Messi does is easy to explain. He's incredible with the ball and has arguably the greatest left foot ever. He keeps the ball tied to his foot like it was literally tied to his foot. He is nearly impossible to take down and has every shot in the book. That is what Lionel Messi is, nothing more and nothing less. He does it extremely well, but that is what he does. You couldn't truly describe what Zidane did on the field other than saying it was magic. I'll make an effort to try anyway. Zidane had the ability to impact the game without scoring, but then again all defenders have that too. More so, Zidane had the ability to impact the game seemingly without moving, by just getting the ball and passing it off to streaking teammates in advantageous positions. Zidane was one of the most inventive passers in football history. Other than Peyton Manning, there might not have been a better quarterback in all sports.

Maestro is often the word we here associated with Zidane, and in a way it is perfect. He was the master orchestral conducter managing and directing the other 9 players on the pitch (I'm guessing he had no impact on the goalie, but then again if Tom Brady can make his kickers play better...) with ease. He rarely ever missed a pass, ever. What seperates him from modern pass-masters like Xavi Hernandez is that his passes weren't tiki-taka ones that went five feet, but sweeping, looping passes offsetted by back-heels and two-foot combinations. Zidane was everything a central midfielder should be, but limiting him to just that title would be selling Zizou way too short.

Zidane was also a beast with the ball, as rarely was any player able to strip him of it one-on-one. He didn't do it with the fleet footwork of Lionel Messi, or the galloping strides of Cristiano or the original Ronaldo before him, but with true magic. The magic was that he made the most ridiculous things like his famed spin to aerial kicks look easy and simple. He made the game look easy, like it was something anyone can do, and that is the height of his brilliance. Zidane made what was incredible look commonplace, look ordinary and all-the-more, because what he did that looked incredible was actually utterly insane.

It is still hard to believe it actually happened, and harder to believe how forgotten a moment it is outside of football fan circles. Real Madrid at the final peak of their galactico powers, was tied in the Champions League Final, the cap to the 2001-02 season. Zidane, in his first season in Real Madrid following that 75 Million Euro transfer fee, had already lost two Champions League Finals with Juventus - one to Real Madrid who had won two of the last four before Zidane joined. Zidane needed to make his mark and he did it with a 75 million euro goal. Solari flung the ball airborn in a high, tight arc, into the back of the 18-yd box. The ball was suspended in midair and every player on the pitch awaited its return to earth. Zidane didn't wait but readied himself, and then in one smooth move, swung his left foot (off-foot, it should be mentioned) perfectly into the descending ball, connecting with a sharp volley that slammed into the back of the net. The game was tied no longer.

Zidane had already won another FIFA Player of the Year award in 2000, but this was the real start to his decade. Tragically he got hurt in the run up to the 2002 World Cup and missed France's first two games, which were soulless goalless games. Zidane came back with a vengeance putting together another magnificent season to win the 2003 FIFA World Player of the Year spearheading Real to the La Liga title and managing to be the best player on the field during a Champions League tie with Manchester United, even with Ronaldo getting a hat trick. Zidane then scored the only goal in Real's tough semifinal exit to Juventus. In 2004, Zidane then led France to the late stages of the Euro 2004 tournament with a dramatic brace against England. First was an incredible free kick to tie the game in the 88th minute, a kick so brilliant, goalie David James didn't move an inch. He couldn't, frozen by its brilliance. Then he finished it off with a penalty kick to the collective groins of millions of Englishmen. Later in 2004, Zidane got arguably his most impressive honor.

In 2004 UEFA did a poll of the Best European Footballers of the Past 50 Years to cap its 50th Anniversary celebration. Zidane topped the poll, nudging out Franz Beckenbauer. Before people cry that there was some recency-bias, it should be mentioned that the next highest placing current player was Paolo Maldini at #10. Of course, this was a European only list, so it did not include Pele or Maradona or Ronaldo, but the message was clear, Zidane was the best European Football of the last 50 years......... and this was before his magical 2006 World Cup.

The French National Team's qualification for the 2006 World Cup was going about as well as the plight of the roid-free Tour de France riders. Zidane, who had already retired from international football, was begged to come out of retirement, to help his country. After Zidane returned on September 3rd 2005, France didn't lose another game until after he retired again (losing in penatlies is considered a draw). France ended up qualifying comfortably, and the 2006 World Cup was set and going in Zidane let it be known it would be his swansong from all football, at what a beautiful coda it was.

The group stage for France wasn't anything great, but the four successive knockout games were an epic all-to-themselves. First against Spain, a team who had the foundation of the same team that would dominate international football for the six years after the World Cup, Zidane controlled the game beautifully, many times showing off his trademark passing and eye for the game. His whipping free kick led to the game winning goal, and then in stoppage time added the capper, with his first goal in the World Cup, a goal that is often missed but Zidane made look incredibly easy. A date with Brazil was next.

Zidane made his first ever international statement against Brazil, scoring two headers to win the World Cup. In fact, since 1994, the only World Cup game Brazil lost was that World Cup Final. Coming into the game, the Selecao were on a roll and were the favorite. Then again, no one really realized that Zidane had one last breathtaking game again. Difficult made easy. The 2006 quarterfinal perfected that theme as he danced his way around the Brazilians. Pele later called him "the only Brazilian on the field." His free kick again set up the only goal, but Zidane controlled the match (though I should not France's defense was great throughout the tournament), one that was nowhere as close as the 1-0 scoreline.

The semifinal against Portugal was more of the same, highlighted with a picture perfect penalty kick. Eight years after his brace sent millions into the Champs Elysee, Zidane was back again in the World Cup Final, this time against Italy. The Final was marked by three incidents for Zidane. First was his second consecutive penalty kick goal. A kick so sublime, so insane that few would try it. Zidane chipped the ball so perfectly in bounced off the bottom of the cross bar slowly dropping behind the goalline. The second was his last great moment, a flying header that nearly broke a 1-1 tie in extra time. Gianluigi Buffon had to use every inch of his springing frame to knock it over the bar. The final one was the most memorable, the infamous headbutt, Zidane's act of vigilante justice.

The act itself was admittedly disgraceful, but was not really out of character. Zizou played the beautiful game about as beautiful as it ever has, but that grace belied a true temper. Zidane has a lot more bad tempered moments and red cards than most great footballers. His temper is his one true weakness, and it showed at the worst moment, fifteen minutes before the end of his career. But let the headbutt not spoil Zidane's incredible tournament, one that netted him one last award for the best player of the tournament. Zidane's play against Brazil should be sent straight to the Smithsonian, the equivalent of what Manning's insane game against the Jets in last years AFC Championship game was. Zidane was at his magnificent best in the biggest tournament in the world.

Zidane never played again after the headbutt, but his legacy is still set in stone. Just listen to the experts: "Zidane is one of the 5 greatest players in history, a truly magnificent player" (Beckenbauer). "Zidane is the greatest talent we've seen in the last 20 years (1986-2006), and it was an honour to be his manager" (Juventus manager Marcello Lippi who coached Italy in the headbutt game). "Zidane's the best player I've ever seen" (Roberto Carlos). "Technically, I think he is the king of what's fundamental in the game - control and passing" (Michel Platini). "There's never been anyone quite like him, anyone so magical" (Paolo Maldini).

Zizou was a true magician, and his best magic act might have been his quiet disappearance. It is hard to describe why Zidane isn't remembered as greatly as he should, especially since when it comes time for any true expert or football fan blog to do any sort of top-10 list, or have an irrational Zidane vs Ronaldinho or Zidane vs Messi thread, the cobwebs that lie over Zidane's legacy are dusted off and displayed. Maybe it is because it is all too recent. Maybe because Messi is doing splendid things, but Zidane isn't given the Maradona treatment yet. He will because he deserves it. My guess is his high-profile roles in the football business will only help. Zidane was the face of Qatar's bid for the 2022 World Cup. Zidane is now the sporting director of Real Madrid, a job Jose Mourinho wanted Zidane to get, making him the second most powerful man at Real Madrid after Florentino Perez. Zidane realizes that the world has gotten over the headbutt, that it is time to make that legacy eternal.

I don't want to really get into a Zidane vs Messi debate, partly because Messi isn't done and partly because they play different positions (Zidane vs Ronaldinho makes more sense, but that argument is as dumb as Barry Bonds vs Sammy Sosa but without the roids). That said, here is what I know: Messi has played his entire career with Xavi and Iniesta and that cartel in Barca. Zidane did have great teammates at both Juventus and Real Madrid, but not to the same effect. We haven't seen what Messi can do without those two men, and what evidence we have (World Cup mostly), isn't exactly impressive for Leo. As for Zidane, here are the results that France has put up in major competitions since 1998:

1998: Won World Cup (With Zidane)
2000: Won Euro 2000 (With Zidane)
2002: Lost in group stage (Zidane played 1 out of 3 games)
2004: Lost in Quarterfinals (With Zidane)
2006: Lost in World Cup Final (With Zidane)
2008: Lost in group stage (Without Zidane)
2010: Lost in group stage (Without Zidane).

France has done nothing without Zidane, and everything with him. France had other great players in this era like Thierry Henry, Lilian Thuram, Patrick Vieira and Claude Makalele, but none of those guys could do jack without Zizou, without the magic.

In his final game for Real Madrid, his final game in club football, Real Madrid sent him out like a king, with the whole stadium holding up posters of Zidane's shirt and each player having "Zidane 2001-2006" stiched at the bottom of their shirt. Zidane responded with a sublime header, a goal in his final game. The header was tough in actuality, with Zidane lightly arcing the ball off his head, almost placing it with his head rather than butting it, as it flew softly over the goalie. It was difficult but made to look simple, just like everything else in Zizou's magical career.

Story of the Year: 2008

..And They Hit On



They are perfect opposites. One, a lithe, Swiss master with a racket that made such sweet music, Mozart would have been embarrassed. The other, a fiery, fierce matador from Spain, with his bulging arms exposed as a sign of his physicality. One, a righty who floated around the court. The other, a lefty who was just as fast, but more forceful in his movements. One, an all court player who had already conquered each surface three times over except for clay. The other, a player who had not conquered any surface other than clay, which he had done four times over. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal were not similar in any way, except for the fact that they were brilliant at tennis. They also had the similarity of being able to bring out the best in each other, to play off each other like two dueling musicians. They were perfect opposites, but they were perfect for each other, never more than on the day of July 6, 2008. That was the day that tennis history was written, because tennis history was changed.

Entering the final, Roger Federer had yet to lose a single set. The same could not be set for Rafael Nadal. The specter of Nadal's ridiculous 6-1 6-3 6-0 win in the French Open Final just four weeks earlier hung over the match, but that was on clay. Clay was perfectly suited for Nadal's game, and the high bounce that Nadal could create was perfectly ill-suited for Federer's. This was on grass, and grass was Federer's surface. Five straight years Federer had conquered the lawns of the All-England Club, usually without much serious competition. Each of the past two years even saw him beat Nadal in the Wimbledon Final. Federer had the history on his side, but Nadal had the recent history on his. As the match was about to start, and the rain finally ended after two hours, history was ready to be made.

History held its breath. This was supposed to be the year that the debate ended and Roger Federer took his place as the greatest tennis player ever. The Mighty Fed needed simply to sustain his remarkable trajectory and he'd eclipse Pete Sampras's record of 14 Grand Slam singles titles. He was on pace to finish his fifth consecutive year with the No. 1 ranking and become the first player since 1888 to win Wimlbedon for the sixth straight time. And so in the last few moments of daylight on Sunday, there was a Centre Court coronation. Only it wasn't for the Swiss stylist; it was for a swashbuckling Spaniard. In a spellbinding men's final that will stand as the benchmark against which all future tennis matches will be measured, Rafael Nadal dethroned Federer 6--4, 6--4, 6--7, 6--7, 9--7. Let's be unequivocal: This was the greatest match ever played.

It also doubled as a four-hour, 48minute infomercial for everything that is right about tennis—a festive display of grace, strength, speed, shotmaking and sportsmanship that crackled with electricity. If this Wimbledon final doesn't improve the sport's relevance quotient, nothing will. While Nadal collapsed onto the court after winning his fourth match point, it was the House of Federer that was brought to its knees after a glorious five-year run. "There is a new king tonight," said a breathless BBC announcer. "We may have to rethink tennis history."
In becoming the first player since Bjorn Borg in 1980 to pull off the spring-summer double—winning on the clay of the French Open and the lawns of Wimbledon—Nadal defied conventional tennis wisdom. It's long been thought that no player relying on high-bouncing topspin and cutting sidespin can thrive at Wimbledon. And it's hard to recall a player ever applying more action to his shots than Nadal does; a recent study commissioned by the International Tennis Federation found that while the ball rotates 2,500 times per minute on the average pro's shot, it rotates twice as much on Nadal's.

Yet in winning Wimbledon the 22-year-old Nadal confirmed what some U.S. television viewers already suspected: Simply calling something a "no spin zone" (in this case, a grass court) doesn't necessarily make it so. It turns out that Nadal's unique combination of spin and brutal power is ideal for Wimbledon's surface, especially when it plays as slowly as it did this year. His shots kicked so sharply upon landing that they should have required turn signals. "All the time," complained Nadal's dumbfounded first-round opponent, Andreas Beck. "I was thinking, What the hell's he doing?"

In the quarterfinals Nadal thumped Andy Murray, the Great British Hope, in straight sets. (Next day's headline in London's Daily Star: ANDY'S KICKED IN THE NADS.) A half hour after the match Murray was still dazed by Nadal's cyclonic strokes. "He just swings his arm so hard at the ball," says Murray. "With Federer it looks like effortless power. [Nadal] puts a lot of swing on it, and when it hits the court it bounces hard in the other direction!"

Toni Nadal, Rafael's uncle and coach, claims that even as Rafa was winning his fourth straight French Open last month, crushing Federer in straight sets in the final, he was preparing for Wimbledon. He practiced volleying and serving wide and planting himself on the baseline, typical backcourt positioning for grass. "Everyone thinks because he's Spanish, it's clay, clay, clay," says Toni. "But for Rafa, Wimbledon ... has always meant the most."

Nadal sure masked the intensity of his ambitions, though. His rental house in Wimbledon Village, an easy walk from the courts, was Fiesta Central during the tournament, particularly early on when Spain's soccer team was winning Euro 2008. Nadal kicked a soccer ball around on the practice courts, slapped five with passersby as he walked around town and spent part of his downtime writing a blog for The Times of London. Sample entry: "I went out to Wimbledon to do some grocery (?). Is that the word for shopping food? I guess so. I cooked ... pasta with mushrooms, gambas, some onion at the beginning and these crab sticks. Not bad, believe me. Anyway I am going to bed now and finish the Godfather."

If this insouciance was a sharp departure from Federer's buttoned-down approach, well, add it to the list of contrasts between the two. Federer-Nadal is the most gripping rivalry in sports, and it's largely because of what each player represents. No. 1 versus No. 2. Righty versus lefty. Smooth, silent grace versus rugged, oomphing tenacity. White-collar tennis versus working-class tennis. (Fittingly, Federer endorses Mercedes; Nadal has a contract with Kia.) Plus, the two players show not merely respect but also fondness for each other. Federer said that even as their final showdown loomed, he sought out Nadal in the locker room to chat. Asked last week to name his favorite sportsman, Nadal listed Spain's soccer team, Tiger Woods and ... Federer.
The critical difference between the two: While Nadal is clearly galvanized by the concept of a rivalry, Federer can appear annoyed by the presence of such a bold and pugnacious challenger. In past matches between them Federer played tentatively, unnerved by Nadal's aggression. Federer admits that, in the past, he had a "Nadal complex."

With that as a backdrop, what made Sunday's epic all the more memorable was the abundant evidence of guts on both sides of the net. Confounding Federer with his spins and angles, Nadal seized the first two sets. Call it territorial instincts, but Federer would not go gently. He dialed in his serve and, after a 90-minute rain delay in the third set, won a riveting tiebreaker. A little more than an hour later Nadal held two match points in the fourth-set tiebreaker. Federer summoned some of his best shotmaking of the day—champions do this—and, putting to rest any doubts about his mettle, pushed the match to a decisive fifth set.

Squandering match points in a Wimbledon final would be enough to torture even the most mentally sound player. But Nadal's psyche is as rock-hard as his physique. As if putting on a set of noise-canceling headphones, he blocked out the distraction and went back to work. There was a second, 24-minute rain delay in the fifth set, and by the time Nadal broke Federer at 7--7 it was after 9 p.m. and the balls were barely visible. "I couldn't see nothing," said Nadal. Still, he coolly served out the match. "You know how people say, 'It feels like a dream?'" Nadal later told the Spanish media in his native tongue. "Winning my first Wimbledon? Beating Federer, the greatest player of all time? A match like this? How could it not feel like a dream?"

Tied to Federer, if not by blood then by the bonds of a rivalry, Nadal was similarly dignified in victory. The first Spaniard to win Wimbledon in 42 years fell flat on his back but popped up quickly to embrace his opponent, who may have revealed as much of himself in defeat as he ever did in victory. Nadal then sought out Uncle Toni and the rest of his entourage before carrying a Spanish flag into the Royal Box to greet his country's Crown Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia. If his first Wimbledon title weren't momentous enough, it's virtually certain that Nadal will take over the top ranking by year's end.

Rafael Nadal is now the king of men's tennis, but at that moment in 2008 tennis was still Roger's kingdom. Roger was the emperor, conquering land after land, on his way to a now record 16 major titles. Rafael Nadal today has just 9, but is still only 24, and has shown the ability to, like Federer, win on every surface. Time will tell if Rafael Nadal can catch Roger. However, time will also tell the story of this match. The day that the two best tennis players of their generation hit and hit and hit. And just when you thought it was over, and Rafael Nadal hit that ridiculous winner to get match point, they hit on.

The Best Sitcom of the 2000s: Arrested Development

"It Ain't Easy Being Bright"

What was the best sitcom of the 2000s? Annyong, Mr.F?!?! The answer is obvious. It is the show that for three years was as "stable as a table" in its humor, turned "illusions" (not tricks) all the time, and was as straight as Tobias for 53 episodes. Now, it is time I "lay my sweet crown upon her head."

So, sit back, grab a bucket of candy beans, bite into a sweet Bluth Frozen Banana, make a trip to Tiny-Town, hire a surrogate to attend meetings for you, put up your hair, and your glasses, act frightened by acting like an angry old coot, visit Dorothy in prison, pick up Stan Sitwell's "Just Woke Up" hair, put "Annhog" in the trunk, do a chicken dance, pop in your copy of "Franklin Comes Alive" [I can keep this going longer...], look for "Hermano", deal some seals, buy some diamond cream, watch out for a "looseseal", be aware of hop-on's, get a margarita made in your mouth at Senor Tadpoles, never be seen nor heard at the Milford Academy, and of course, "Always Leave a Note."

There were shows that were more popular. Hell, there were shows that were exponentially more popular, more watched and more profitable. No sitcom will ever reach the 20 million viewers plateau like Friends and Seinfeld did, but some got to double digits (Two and a Half Men, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory). Arrested Development rarely cracked five million. Arrested Development's viewership was so bad that FOX cut the second season from 22 episodes to 18, and then not only cut the 3rd season to 13 episodes, but presented the last four in a 2-hour block running against the opening of the 2006 Winter Olympic Games, basically as filler. None of that matters. It doesn't matter that the show lasted three seasons, two of which were truncated, and was unceremoniously ushered out while everyone was watching something else. No, what matters was that no comedy was better written, better acted, better produced, and purely just better than Arrested Development. It is the best sitcom of the 2000s, and it is not really all that close.

One of the show's more famous gags, the Chicken Dance was a running joke to perfection

In fact, I am truthfully happy that Arrested Development ended after three seasons and 53 episodes, because its short life-span never gave it the chance to grow stale. The biggest problem any sitcom has is that the longer it goes, the more old it gets. Nostalgia is TV's biggest enemy, as what happened in Season 1 or Season 2 of a series always seems better than what happens in Season 6 and 7. Of course, usually that is the case because the show runs out of great ideas (Seinfeld, to a point), or every character becomes a pointed caricature of themselves (Friends). Arrested Development never got the chance, and although I think if anyone could have kept new ideas going for eight seasons, Mitch Hurwitz and the Arrested Development guys were it. Each episode was brilliant. Each episode was funny, and not just ha-ha funny, but funny to a deeper level, something never really seen in comedy. It was smart funny, it was layered funny, it was the focused man's funny.

The reason Arrested Development is so great is because there is just so much to love. The cast goes nine deep, legitimately. There's the patriarchal sarcasm of George Bluth (who the actor, Jeffrey Tambor, doubled with his hippie twin brother Oscar), the even bitterer sarcasm of mother Lucille Bluth (one of the funniest female characters in the history of television, based on pure humor), the deadpan humor of Michael Bluth, the timing and delivery based humor of magician GOB, the just silly humor of socialite Linsday, the double-entendre genius of Tobias, the awkward humor of Buster, and the two kids, who are as funny as everyone else. There were nine lead roles, and all were written well and acted well. No show ever starred more people, and shows who had far fewer main characters didn't even share the humor as well among all of them. For example, for all that Modern Family has done right in its year and a half on TV, the one thing it is starting to struggle with is splitting airtime between 10 characters. It already seems to rotate the spotlight between houses each week. Arrested Development had the problem, but had a solution. It almost is unthinkable how amazing Arrested Development was at incorporating nine characters and never making it seem like there were too many. It is hard to have a favorite character. Their all tied, because they were all brilliant.

He wasn't the best character, but he may have been the funniest

Then there are the jokes (and more jokes, and jokes). The sheer volume and depth of the jokes enhances the show as a whole, as it makes Arrested Development among the most rewatchable shows ever. Every time you watch an episode, one more joke will show up, something you never noticed before. Whether it be that in the episode "Spring Breakout" Tobias is always shown coming out of a fireplace, or that in "Notapusy", when Rita falls over, she covers up part of the banner "Wee Britain" revealing "Wee Brain", or the amazing amount of references foreshadowing the impending loss of Buster's arm. No line was read without a meaning attached. There was no wasted time in any of the episodes. There were episodes of Friends that did not have many jokes. There were strings of episodes in the Office's later seasons that were not funny. There wasn't a string of five minutes in any episode of Arrested Development that did not contain a joke. If you think there were, rewatch it. You will find one, guaranteed.

Herein lied the biggest problem with Arrested Development. It was too broad. The viewer had to search to uncover all the jokes. With the vast amount of callbacks (like the cornballer, or Kitty being "horrible, disgusting thing", or Senor Tadpoles) Arrested Development was not a show that someone could enter during the middle of Season 2 and understand what was going on. No, it required time and attention, but for the one's that did, or the ones that wanted too, the reward was the greatest package of "funny" in sitcoms in the decade.

Didn't think that clip was all that funny? The joke lies in the numbers.

Arrested Development was never going to be as mainstream as a show that never tried to bring things from its past, or one that highlighted its jokes with sex, or laughtracks. No, it was a show that was loyal to its viewers, viewers that wanted to not only laugh, but think as well. The Arrested Development viewer was a treasure hunter, and each episode was an old, buried ship that required multiple dives to find it all. Arrested Development did not try to reinvent the format of a sitcom, like The Office (a show that has forever been overrated, both in its humor and in its originality). It was a show that took a traditional sitcom format (a dysfunctional family), and added enhancers all over the place. There was nothing that Arrested Development did not want to tackle, whether it be the (rampant) incest, or its own unsuccessful run on television (just watch the episodes Save Our Bluth's and watch self-aware humor at its best), or even the prison system.

Annyong's best moment. This one is a little soft, so turn the volume up.

However, this underscores the a truth rarely talked about when discussing Arrested Development: not only is it the smartest funniest show, it is the funniest show in the normal sense as well. Even the obvious humor is the best of the decade, whether it be Lindsay and Lucille's fight at Klimpy's, or Tobias becoming Dorothy, and singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow, there's another Rainbow" or even the surrogate. Arrested Development was even the king of straight in-your-face comedy, being able to get a laugh at will when necessary. Arrested Development's humor was 75% hidden, or presented through double meanings, or wordplay, or timing, or callbacks, but that other 25% of just situational humor was still as good as it gets.

One of the funniest moments in the show, that gave us "Tiny Town" and the epic line "God Knows They're squinters"

Arrested Development may or may not come back as a movie in the next couple of years (I, for one, don't want it too, as it could ruin what was a perfect show), but it still lives on. The internet has spurred the popularity of the show far further than television ever did. It probably has more short clips than any other show on Youtube. Seemingly 40% of all blog usernames are some variation of an Arrested Development joke. Loyal viewers can have a conversation of just alternating lines from the show for hours on end without stopping (that is a good thing, in a way). Arrested Development is probably the most popular show to last less than five seasons ever, and it merits that accomplishment. It also probably holds the record for the difference between the buzz it generated, and the actual viewers. But this is not a contest of viewership, or even overall popularity. A sitcom's main goal is to be funny, to entertain, and Arrested Development did that better than any show since Seinfeld. Every episode was a 30 minute collection of absolute brilliance in writing and acting. The show didn't do anything new, but just pushed the medium as far as it could go currently. Arrested Development has been off the air for almost five years now, and it is still as relevant as it was the day it left air, and it will continue to be for years. Arrested Development, in all its glory, was the best sitcom of the 2000s, and at 53 episodes, is the most watchable sitcom, and its brilliance lies in the fact that it is the most rewatchable as well.




The ones that just missed the cut (these are all shows that I have seen every episode of, and I think are right up there.... I have never seen Community, or Parks, or Flight of the Choncords, and Curb seems way too much like Seinfeld to merit a spot).


- Chappelle's Show

It overtook Saturday Night Live as the best sketch comedy of the decade, and like Arrested Development, was weirdly better served by lasting for such a short period of time. The show probably wasn't as consistently good as it is remembered as being (it did have its down episodes), but at its best, Chappele's Show was the funniest thing on television, and did more to tear down racial barriers than anything else on TV in the 2000s. The most memorable thing it did was probably give Rick James something to be remembered for by a whole new generation, but it also put one of the best comedians of our time into a new spotlight. When Dave Chappelle mysteriously walked away from 50 million to end the show after two seasons, a lot of people thought he was crazy. Chappelle later said that he walked away because he thought people were starting to laugh at him, and not with him. The show was its best when the viewer could laugh along with Dave, laugh along at the incredible density of our culture, so Chappelle's Show might have ended at the perfect time.

Two of my favorite clips for Chappelle's Show, showing Dave at his best. First putting the term "Rick James, Bitch" into comic history, and then pulling his best political act yet.

- It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

The best Seinfeld since Seinfeld, Always Sunny (as it is more affectionately called) had the luxury of being able to swear, but had the ills of being relegated to FX (not noted for their comedies). Still running as strong as ever six years later, "The Gang" is about where it started: a self-absorbed, petty, vindictive bunch that is as funny as anything currently on television. The addition of Danny DeVito in Season 2 hasn't been perfect, but it is hard to envision the show without it. The fact that the first Season was only seven episodes long now makes the pre-DeVito era seem strange. The writing of the show is great, and Dee has been able to become the 2000s answer to Elaine, showing again that the best way to write a woman is write her as a pseudo-man (unless you are Arrested Development, and you have Lucille). Of course, the show has started to push the boundaries of what it was starting with the musical episode that ended Season 4, but the show is still as relevant as ever, mainly because the characters haven't changed. Weirdly, the actual actors' appearance never seems to change either.

Nothing really embodies the show more than Day Man and Night Man.







- How I Met Your Mother

No show combined, and possibly still combines, emotion and comedy like How I Met Your Mother. That is why we fell in love with the five late-20-year-olds from New York. Of course, Barney had become the best-written sidekick until the team made him into too big of a major player, and the actual story of meeting the mother might be lost at times, but that doesn't make it any less good at pulling our emotional heartstrings right after pulling our legs. Also, few shows have done a better job of expanding its media base. How I Met Your Mother is the leader in the clubhouse of using the internet (not as many recently, but HIMYM has created eight different websites on the show that they later created on the real internet, like "ihatetedmosby.com, or "barneysvideoresume.com". They have also perfected using music. They had the musical crescendo of "Nothing Suits Me Like a Suit" to end their 100th episode, and also great character of Robin Sparkles. At its best, no traditional sitcom was more creative, and none could make you tear up laughing and crying at the same time the way How I Met Your Mother could.

Barney's best moments.... and then arguably the show's best (at least in showing off its uniqueness)






'Till Next Time.

Story of the Year: 2007

The Patriots Act

A perfect storm is an often used cliché. It is used for, sparingly, actual storms, but mostly for any disaster that was most likely not a perfect storm, but it seems either more interesting or more defensible if it was some ‘perfect storm’ brewed from nature like a potion. The use of the phrase is now so common that never does anyone even question its use. True perfect storms are rare, powerful and destructive. Perfect storms come around once or twice a decade in reality, like the Indian Ocean Tsunami/Earthquake. That was a perfect storm. The Credit Market collapse that ruined the economy worldwide, that was not a perfect storm. Hurricane Katrina, that was a perfect storm. The recent BP oil spill, that was not. The 2007 New England Patriots taping video signals and that blowing up in their face, causing scorn and hatred which was retaliated by the most vengeful team in sports history, which finally ended poetically with a great upset, all of those things which never would have happened if the perpetrator’s right hand man with inside knowledge decided not to turn him in after a hissy fit after an embarrassing loss, that was a perfect storm.

There was no team more interesting, more polarizing, more ashamed, more vengeful, more hailed, more hated and more popular than the 2007 New England Patriots, and all of it had to do with silly video signals. There was a tyrannical team that was caught as a team form of a criminal. The team was led by a dictator of a man, shrouded in mystery. Instead of accepting their punishment, they terrorized the rest of their peers week after week, somehow turning it around and placing the blame on everyone else. They showed no remorse, beating the strong until they were down, killing the weak while they were. Not until a team from the Gotham of New York City came to fight them with the Batman of Eli Manning, and his (helmeted)sidekick Robin named David Tyree, was the tyrant stopped, but until then no one complained, just watched in amazement. The Patriots were that tyrant, but more than that, they were THE tyrant. At a time when villains and heroes are doing battle in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Patriots become enemy #1 as well as exhibit #1 of greatness in team sports. All the talking heads had something to say, from those on sports radio to those on Capitol Hill. Everyone wondered, “How much did they cheat?”, “Were they punished enough?”, “Why are the Patriots acting like the victim?”, and most importantly, “Can Anyone beat that F**king team?!?!”

It started in Week 1 of the 2007 season, near the end of the Patriots rather routine 38-14 win over the New York Jets. The Jets were not a very good team, so that score was not that ridiculous (at least compared to what was to come). Eric Mangini claimed that the Patriots were illegally taping the defensive signals of the Jets, which was clearly against the rules. Mangini was correct, and he knew this since he knew the Patriots were taping signals throughout his time in New England as well. The Patriots were not forced to forfeit that game (what would have been a fair punishment), and for a day it did not seem like that big of a story. Most people thought that like in baseball, sign stealing was not that big of a deal, was not going to be punished that severely, and that the season would go on like normal. However, by the next Tuesday, it became obvious how wrong this was, and that the 2007 Season would not be like any other in recent memory.

On Tuesday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell levied his penalty. Patriots Coach Bill Belichick, a hoodied, mysterious genius of a coach, was to be fined 500,000 dollars, the most ever levied to any one coach (or even player), and the team would be docked their first round pick in the 2008 draft. Some said this was too much, some said that this was not enough, some stupidly called for the Patriots’ three Super Bowl Titles in 2001, 2003 and 2004 to be stripped. Of course, Roger Goodell smartly did not listen to this polarized outcry, but he, stupidly, burned the video tapes that the league confiscated from the Patriots, burning the lasting evidence to the severity of the crime, and burning away the remains of the tape-stealing story. Roger Goodell would have loved for his burning of the tapes to end all discussion of Spygate, as the incident was unoriginally coined, but he was wrong. It was just starting, and the Patriots would be taking center stage.

LaDainian Tomlinson, the future Hall of Fame running back, was not a fan of Bill Belichick and the Patriots’ work. In fact, he hated their work and he hated them especially after they celebrated on the Chargers field after winning a playoff game the previous January. He was delighted by the public shame that the Patriots action had garnered them, and he used this opportunity to join various other NFL Players and coaches, both current and past, to voice his displeasure with the Patriots and their Spygate-ing ways. “The Patriots follow the motto, ‘if you’re not cheatin’, you’re not tryin’” he said in an interview. The Chargers and Patriots were scheduled to play that Sunday night in Foxboro, MA, in a early-season litmus test for both, which is why these words were so meaningful. For years the Patriots were known as a team who used this “bulletin board material” to inspire their performances, but this was usually used to inspire their defense. This taunt from Tomlinson was pointed at the team. Everyone’s taunts and jabs were pointed at the team. It was unofficial ‘Bash on the Pats’ week in the NFL, and everyone was happy to oblige. The Patriots, although 100% guilty of what they were accused of doing, had enough of this most public celebration by the rest of the league on their demise. They fueled the numerous taunts, and questions and insults into something special, so special it would captivate the nation and turn the fall and winter’s most watched TV program into “New England Patriots Games.”

The Patriots, mad at what Tomlinson and everyone else (like Coach Jeff Fisher, Terry Bradshaw, Tom Jackson, Merrill Hodge and more) said, drummed the Chargers 38-14 (up 24-7 at the half). They destroyed the team that many saw as the best in the AFC, and did it on National Television. At the end of the game, each Patriots player took time to hug their coach and leader, the man who was $500,000 lighter in the jeans pocket than he was just seven days earlier. Most people around the nation thought they saw an inspired performance by a great team. What they didn’t realize was that the fun, at least for the Patriots, was just beginning, and that the Chargers weren’t the focus, everyone was.


The Patriots, fueled by the taunts of the teams around the league, score 38, 34, 34, 48, 49 and 52 points in the next six games. It was the most amazing sight in football history. They were simply ruthless. Tom Brady, a QB that was hailed as the next Joe Montana, was finally putting up the stats that everyone wondered if he could ever put up. He had a perfect receiving corp, with Randy Moss, who was fired up to show the league that his stint in Oakland was a mirage and the real Moss was still there, Wes Welker, who was fired up to show the league that he was not a type-cast “white” receiver, and that he could be great, Donte’ Stallworth, who was fired up to show the league that he was not to blame for his being on three different teams in three years, and great offensive line, who was fired up to show the league just what pass-protection looks like. Of course, everyone was fired up to show the league that stealing signals had nothing to do with their 3 Super Bowl Titles. It was proof by execution. “Surely the signals that we taped meant nothing if we are setting offensive records here!” they were saying to the league. Of course, this polarized the nation on the Patriots even more. There were the people who love greatness, love perfection, and they were ebullient to see offense being played at a level it never was before. Then, there were all the people who lauded sportsmanship, and saw the Patriots Revenge Act as bad natured when they humiliated teams. Of course, this lead to controversy number two, running-up the score.

There has always been a code among sportsmen, a code that is rarely broken. It says that when one team is comfortably ahead, assured of victory, that that team would stop running all ten cylinders and dial everything down, basically go through the motions until the clocks showed zero. The Patriots, however, knew of no such gentleman’s agreement (or as Tomlinson, I’m sure, would agree, they knew of the agreement, but the Patriots weren’t gentleman). They threw when up 42-21 in the fourth quarter. Lord knows, they threw on 4th down up 45-7 against Washington. They threw and threw and threw. They always had to get one last touchdown in, one last “eff-you” TD, as Bill Simmons called it, just to show that team that first, the torture was not over yet, and that the Pats are just that dominant. The fact that they did this to Joe Gibbs, one of the few men who could claim to be Bill Belichick’s equal as a head coach, made it worse. The Patriots were, seemingly, intentionally running up the score on teams that had no chance to stop them anyway. It was horrible, unjust and ugly, and of course, great, great television.

The Patriots were suddenly America’s villain, and of course, everyone had to check out the villain. Even people that had no idea what sports were, and who Bill Belichick was, and certainly not if stealing signals had any real effect on the game, had to check in. Everyone has to be witness to the perfect storm. The Patriots, for one season at least, became America’s team. Patriots’ games were the 5-highest rated TV events of that TV season. The Patriots-Chargers, Patriots-Cowboys, Patriots-Colts, Patriots-Chargers Championship Game, and Super Bowl XLII (Patriots-Giants) all garnered more viewers than any other single TV program that TV season. American Idol was no longer the best reality show. That was the Patriots. Would they run it up? Would they hit 70? Would Tom Brady throw 6 tds? Would Belichick shake the opposing coach’s hand? These were the new question’s in TV. And of course, that same old one: “Can anyone beat that F**king team?!?!”

The chase for perfection was what made the 2007 Patriots the perfect storm. Not only did they break the rules in a manner that was probably more egregious than any football team in the NFL’s history, not only did they run up the score in a smug fashion and play with a hauntingly funny outward arrogance, and not only were they on pace to shatter nearly every record in the books on offense, but they were yet to lose a game. Never has the “Is this team going to go undefeated” asked any earlier than it was with the Pats. Because they were winning games by 24, 24, 31, 17, 21, 21, 21, 45 points for the first eight games, there seemed to not even be a team that could play with them, let alone beat them. The madness reached its height when before their Week 9 matchup against the Colts, the Patriots were favored by 6 points. The Patriots were playing in Indianapolis, against the defending champion Colts who were 8-0 and won their last two games by the combined score of 60-14, and the Patriots were nearly touchdown favorites, and no one could argue. The Patriots managed a tight win, coming back from 20-10 down in the 4th quarter. Sure, the Patriots won the game, but at least the Colts showed that the Pats were beatable, and maybe the revenge that they were levying against the rest of the league had an expiry date.

The Pats offense slowed, but the wins did not. It culminated in a Week 13 game agat the Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens, 4-7 at the time, were not supposed to be any match, but their defense, the heart and soul of their team, was finally healthy, and playing for their fallen College comrade Sean Taylor. On a windy Monday Night, Baltimore played inspired. Tom Brady barely completed half his passes, and with 2 minutes to go, the Patriots, who had sputtered all night, were down by 4. However, like they did every single one of the first 18 games they played, the Patriots made every play late. It was not the “eff-you” TD but the “Thank-God!!” TD. The Patriots, just like they did in a 31-28 win over the Eagles the week before, escaped with a win. Sure, the Patriots that dropped 48, 49, 52 and 56 points in four games in six weeks were gone, but the ones that win were not, and entering the playoffs at 16-0, the season that started, and in all reality kickstarted, by Spygate, by fines and lost draft picks, by scorn and rage, by taunts and insults, was three weeks away from ending in the most unlikely way, with a 19-0 record.


The Patriots efficiently, if not listlessly, rolled through two playoff games, setting up a rematch against the Giants, the team that barely lost to the Patriots 38-35 four weeks earlier. They were not supposed to be any match for the Patriots and their record setting offense. In between the day Spygate started, and their cap to a 16-0 season, the Patriots scored 589 points, beating the old record by 33. Tom Brady threw 50 tds (to just 8 ints), to barely beat Peyton Manning’s 49 he threw three seasons earlier. Randy Moss caught 23 td passes, again barely beating Jerry Rice’s 1987 record of 22 (it should be noted Jerry did his 22 in only 13 games, as it should be noted Brady threw 81 more passes than Manning did in 2004, because the Colts did not run up scores). The Patriots set records everywhere, but the one they really wanted, and would really shut up all the idiots who claimed that the league should strip their earlier titles, was the Super Bowl, and that record for most wins in a season with 19. All of those earlier records could be broken one day. The 19-0 never will. They will live on forever, just like the 1972 Dolphins did and continue to do. The Patriots knew this, and knew that this was the perfect way to end the storm that started five months earlier in Giants Stadium (irony there) where they were caught filming signals.

Of course, the Sports God’s had different ideas. In what was mistakenly called a perfect storm of a game by the Giants, the Patriots fell, somehow. For a team that had once scored 42 points before halftime, they were awful, outdone by a defensive line that simply played better. The Giants simply played better. Sure, luck was involved. If Asante Samuel caught that interception, the Pats would have won. Sure, if Eli Manning didn’t escape the sack or if David Tyree didn’t spontaneously use his helmet as a bar to catch a pass, the Patriots most likely would have one (if Tyree dropped it, it would have been 4th and 5 with 1 minute to go, not exactly over). However, the Patriots know better than anyone that “if” is a dangerous proposition. The best NFL franchise of the decade had made a fortune of banking on “If”s that didn’t turn out. “If Drew Bledsoe never sheared that blood vessel”, “If Walt Coleman didn’t inexplicably overturn Brady’s fumble”, “If the Rams learned to hold onto the ball”, “If Drew Bennett didn’t drop that fourth down pass”, “If the Panthers never went for two”, and “If the Eagles knew how to run a hurry-up offense.” If any of these “if”s didn’t happen, the Patriots dynasty doesn’t happen. “If”s are a part of life, and the biggest “if” for the 2007 Patriots was a different one, “What if Eric Mangini decided to keep his damn mouth shut.”

Eric Mangini’s double-crossing expose of the Patriots signal-stealing was the first step to creating a monster. The Patriots were so motivated by the taunts and insults launched at them after Spygate was exposed that they took it out and layed waste to the rest of the league for 18 weeks. Sure, the Patriots were a mightily talented team, with great weapons on offense and a savvy, good defense, but as we know from what happened when the momentum from the revenge for Spygate wore off sometime around the Colts and Eagles games in Weeks 9 and 12, the Patriots weren’t insanely better than the rest of the league. The Patriots played close games in the 4th quarter in Wins #9, 11, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18 and in Loss #1. But it was Wins #1-8 and 10 that made the Patriots of 2007 the most analyzed and watch team of the decade, and what made Spygate and the Patriots subsequent chase of perfection one of the stories of the decade. When the Patriots were at their ruthless best, nothing else in sports really mattered. That years Red Sox World Series Title was totally overshadowed. The death of Sean Taylor was overshadowed. Everything happening in the world was overshadowed. The Patriots were the sports story, the news story and the gossip story. The Patriots were the story.

There never will be another perfect storm in sports like the 2007 New England Patriots again. First, there never will be another Spygate. For the first two weeks of its aftermath, it had giant-sized legs. People were bringing up all different types of alleged shady business that went on in Foxboro. People clamored for the Patriots titles to be stripped. Senators asked for congress to review the NFL saying that by destroying the videotapes the NFL was covering evidence that might show the league was unfair. Even the Matt Walsh fake story of the Patriots allegedly taping the Rams walkthrough had legs (I’ll have to admit, if that story was true, I believe stripping the Patriots of the 2001 Title might be reasonable). Then, there will never be another team that can use Spygate as the gasoline to spark that size of a sports’ inferno. The Patriots already had revenge and redemption on their mind after blowing a 21-3 lead in the 2006 AFC Championship Game. The failings in that game led to the Patriots bringing in Stallworth, Welker and Moss, which even without the extra-motivation from Spygate would have made for a dangerous offense, but when the energy from Spygate was added, it turned into arguably the greatest offense of all time (I’ll still take the Greatest Show on Turf, version 2000). Finally, add in a chase for perfection and you have the perfect football storm. That led to hundreds of hours spent on that old question, “Can Anyone Beat this F**king Team?!?!”

Story of the Year: 2006

The Headbutt

Just ten minutes were left, plus penalties. Win or lose, his career would be complete, and he would leave on top, nearly single-handidly leading his aging country from the depths of European Football to the precipice of a second world cup, and third major trophy (along with Euro 2000), in eight years. Zinedine Zidane still could not believe that Gianluigi Buffon, the Azzurri's talismanic goalkeeper saved his pinpoint header five minutes earlier. That, he assumed, would be his last great moment on the football pitch. Just like when he lit the world ablaze in 1998 with two great headers past the Brazilian goalkeeper Taffarel, a header would be Zidane's last great moment. However, that career-capping header was yet to come, and would do something that above all his accomplishments, whether it be the World Cup Title, the Euro Championship Title, the countless league titles at Monaco, Juventus and Real Madrid, and even the three Champions League Final's he had played in, would move him to a rarified air. Zidane would become a mega-star for doing something most un-football like, for displaying brute force that is more generally associated with the 'football' played across the pond in the USA. Zidane would use his head to slam Marco Matterazzi to the ground, and provide a fitting end to a career most brilliant and most entertaining.

Nine months earlier, Zinedine Zidane was lured out of retirement because France was in a mess. They were lagging behind in World Cup Qualifying, with precious few of the old guard that had completed the double of holding the World Cup and the Eueropean Title at the same time, including Zidane. He came back from retirement and spurred a furious finish that allowed France to qualify for the 2006 World Cup. This was not supposed to be France's tournament, and merely a nice swansong for Zidane before France was inevitably knocked out and Portugal, Spain and Brazil fought for the World Cup Title. Weird thing happened, though. Zidane played like it was 1998 all over again. He was the everything for France, as he led Les Blues past all three of those aforementioned teams that were the pre-tournament favorites. Up first was Spain. They were talented, with the seeds of the team that enters the 2010 as the favorites as youthful players. Zidane was great, prolonging plays and passing seeds of offense to his forwards. He had a direct hand in France's game-winning goal, with a whipping cross from 40 yards out to Patrick Vieira, and then scored a goal himself with a great shot past Iker Casillas. Brazil was up next. Even more talented than Spain, Brazil was off a fresh 3-0 win over Ghana, and was back for revenge for France's 3-0 win in the 1998 World Cup Final. At this point, no one knew that Zidane would go Keyser Soze two weeks later against an Italian Thug. It was still about the masters swansong, and act two was about as good as it gets.

It was against Brazil eight years earlier that Zidane's star first shone brightly, and before it turned into a supornova in the 111th minute against Italy, that star ballooned against Brazil once again. Zidane was breathtaking, exhilerating and masterful. It was a performance for the Gods, for the Maradona's and the Pele's. Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney, the stars that could shine in 2010 can only dream of such games. The ball was seemingly tethered to the foot of Zidane, while his passes were strung along on the same string. He effortlessly toyed with the Brazilians. Against the team that toyed with everyone, and against the player that was currently the best in the world, Ronaldinho (who at that moment was better than Messi is now), Zidane was the best Brazilian on the field.

Zidane's epic game against Brazil in 2006

Up next was Portugal. Against the man that would replace Ronaldinho as the best player in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo, Zidane, at the "young" age of 34, outshined them all. He scored a deadly penalty kick, placing it in the most perfect place at the net. France then stifled the Portuguese team for 90 minutes, shutting them down. Zidane's magic had led Les Blues to the World Cup Final. Somehow, a team that played 8 out of 11 starters over the age of 30, France was in the World Cup Final, against Italy. And that is where the story gets really ridiculous, more so than a 34-year old bald man being the best soccer player on the world, again.

The game was mostly undramatic. Zidane scored another sublime penalty. Italy scored a header twenty minutes later. Until Buffon's glorious save on Zidane's last great footballing moment. Next came his most lasting. Marco Matterazzi, a ruthless, brash defender, tugged at his shirt. Zidane pushed away, but the leech that is Matterazzi is not so easy to disengage from, and Marco re-tugged on the same shirt. Zidane quipped that "If you want my shirt, you can wait till the match is over." Marco Matterazzi responded with words that were shrouded in mystery for four years. Seconds later as each was jogging back down the field, Zidane slowly turned around to face Marco Matterazzi head on, lowered his shoulder and headbutted Matterazzi right in the chest. Although Marco Matterazzi was a tough, 6'4" player, he 'crumpled' to the ground as if he was sniped by a SWAT team. After some initial confusion, Zidane was deservedly sent-off ten minutes before his career would expire, and Italy won the penalty shootout to claim their fourth World Cup Title. However, no one cared that Italy won the World Cup again. No. All people cared about was that headbutt.

The Headbutt had a life of its own. Immediately, the biggest question, a bigger one than "Isn't it amazing that Italy are now the world champions?", was "Why the Hell did Zinedine Zidane to that?". Obviously he was provoked, although the exact provocation wasn't know for years, but speculation ran rampant. News organizations called in lip-readers who tried to decipher what Matterazzi said. Some said Matterazzi insulted Zidane's Muslim, Algerian roots. Some said he made a simple inslut of Zidane's sister. Some said he did nothing. Then there were the people who judged. Some wanted Zidane arrested for assault. Some wanted him stripped of his Player of the Tournament Trophy for the 2006 World Cup (which rightly never did happen). Some thought Marco Matterazzi, a known rabble-rouser, got what he deserved. However, no one stopped to realize what the headbutt really meant, and what it was. The Headbutt was the single most polarizing and known sports moment of the decade, by far. Billions know what 'the Headbutt' was. Billions know just what happened that night in Frankfurt, in the Olimpiastadon. The Headbutt was bigger than Zidane, bigger than soccer, or football or futbol, or anything. The Headbutt was a different monster.

Four years later, the headbutt is still as known as ever. Back in February, three and a half years after it happened, Zidane finally admitted as to what it was that Marco Matterazzi said. Matterazzi insluted Zidane's mother, who at the time was ill with cancer in a hospital. None of that matters now. All that matters is that it was an event that tarnished Zidane's career forever. Zidane is still known in the parts of the world that appreciate and love football above all else as the best player of his generation. However, in America, he is known as the guy who headbutted the other guy. He will always carry the reputation of a headbutter, he will always carry the reputation as a villain. Of course, that adds to the intrigue of football's dark night. Zidane will be a hero, a brilliant footballer, a magician on the field, but his most enduring moment will always be, in the hearts and minds of many, his headbutt. Of course, this belies the most interesting sports "what if?" of the decade as well. "What if Zidane didn't do it?"

Of course, Italy still could have won. People seem to act like the only reason that Italy won was because Zidane headbutted Matterazzi and got himself red-carded. The game would, in all likelihood, still gone on to penalties. The only man to miss a penalty, David Trezeguet, would have taken a penalty anyway. However, the best "what if?" is even more intriguing, "What If France won anyway?". The reason why that is so damn intriguing is because much of the reason that Zidane is villified for the headbutt was that France lost the game. If France won, Zidane, who is still a hero in France, would have been the hero anyway. Not only did he lead the French to the Final with amazing play, but he headbutted the thug of the Italian team, and his team won the most prized trophy in all of sports. Zidane would probably be praised for admitting some vigilante justice on Marco Matterazzi, but no, the fates were interested in a more delicious dish, one where Zidane did unleash his fury and Matterazzi did fall to the ground.

The Headbutt is probably the most famous World Cup play ever, and it did not even include a ball. It will always be remembered as the moment that the World Cup became mainstream in America. It is definitely the most famous World Cup moment here in the states. Back in 2006, youtube was still about a year from being mainstream, but after just minutes, the interwebs were alive with headbutt videos. 'The Ultimate Zidane Headbutt Video' was the quickest video ever to 1,000,000 views. Still today, the video has had to be re-uploaded three times, and each successive version got even more hits. The Headbutt will always define football in the 2000s, the 2006 FIFA World Cup, and sadly, part of Zinedine Zidane epic career.

The Ultimate Zidane Headbutt Video, the Youtube Sensation

Top 10 Iconic Images of the 2000s

These are the iconic and memorable images that defined the decade in sports. The images that when seen immediately illicit a reaction from millions, and in one case billions.

10.) The Volley


The first iconic moment comes from cold, rainy glasgow, where the best soccer player of his generation warmed up the crowd, and heated up the intensity of the game with the most memorable goal of the decade in soccer. At the top of the 18-yd box, Zidane received a high arching cross, more aptly described as a lob, from Brazilian Roberto Carlos. In one quick whirl of his left foot (his off-foot mind you), Zidane struck a volley right over the Bayer Leverkusen goalie. It was a perfect showcase of just how far and mighty the talent of Zidane could go.

9.) The Swimming Celebration


In race 3 of his 2008 Beijing Escapade, Michael Phelps was not the person who put up the great show in the pool. Phelps ran the second leg of the four-man relay, and didn't swim all that well, so fate rested in the hands of Jason Lezak. Lezak ran the laps of his life, but like life so often does, the star still took center stage. Phelps' totally spontaneous, vibrant celebration was arguably the iconic moment of the Olympics and it was the moment when everyone realized just how long of a torso Michael Phelps has.

8.) The Chip


Tiger Woods has now entered into the gray area between Pariah and Devil, but back in 2005 he was still the squeaky clean, but slumping golfer. Tiger lined up on the edge of the 16th green, clinging to a two shot lead on Chris DiMarco, and just unfurled genius. 'Genius' and 'Golf' usually are not connected, but for this one moment it was. Tiger's shot landed seemingly far, far away from the cup, but started rolling and rolling and rolling. It then paused just long enough to show the nice Nike logo, strike up a nice ad campaign, and drop in the cup for Golf's moment.

7.) The Steroid Hill


It was the moment that really defined baseball in the 2000s, where steroids trumped everything that really happened on the field. The old heroes of the 90's took their place on Capitol Hill, and answered and in all reality lied through their teeth. It was the moment that put Rafael Palmeiro's finger wag into the infamy. It allowed Mark McGwire's "I'm not here to talk about the past" into the verbal lexicon. It was the moment that truly un-caped the legends of 1998.

6.) The Miracle by Mario


It is strange that the most iconic moment in basketball happened in the college stage, but it really fits. In the best Title Game of the decade, Memphis and Kansas went back and forth in a see-saw game, but Memphis was able to put up a nine-point lead. The big elephant in the room was Memphis' free-throw shooting, and thank God the elephant reared its ugly head. Because of the Tigers' inability to hit free-throws, Mario Chalmers had a chance to launch a last-second three. Like a perfect arc, the shot split the net easily and prettily, sending the "Rock-Chalk Jayhawk" crowd into a frenzy and killing the hopes of one arrogant Mr. Calipari.

5.) The Tackle


This Game, Super Bowl XXXIV, has already been detailed in long prose already, but the most lasting moment of the game is the above image, arguably the most famous defensive play in NFL History. Kevin Dyson saw the yellow-painted End Zone open in front of him, but Mike Jones, the no-name defender from the Rams was paid money to defend that painted area. Jones perfect tackle was a fitting cap to one of the all-time Super Bowls, and started the decade off in style.

4.) The Tuck Rule


It was the biggest refereeing decision in football history. It was the play that started a dynasty, and the play that indirectly led to Tampa Bay getting Jon Gruden and winning a Super Bowl of their own. The moment is most memorable for entering the Tuck Rule into the encyclopedia of football. The Tuck Rule still lives on today, and is one of the few plays of the decade that is recognizable just by the utterance of its name.

3.) The Bloop by Lugo


Just two outs away from a 4th straight World Series win, and with the greatest closer in MLB History on the mound, Bank One Ballpark stood in waited hope that their Diamondbacks could do to the Yankees what the boys from Gotham did to their martyr of a closer in Byung-Hyun Kim. The Arizona prayers were answered when Luis Gonzalez lofted the first pitch from Mariano Rivera over the head of Derek Jeter into the Bermuda Triangle of the baseball diamond. It nestled into the grass, and Arizona had finally ended the Yankee Dynasty, kickstarting a new era of, dare we say, parity in baseball.

2.) The Helmet Catch


It is very strange that one of the most famous football plays and images does not have an official name. Pretty much every other great football play has a name, but the connection between Eli Manning, fresh off escaping a sack, to David Tyree's helmet, is probably the most memorable domestic sports moment of the decade. The 'Helmet Catch' is all the more great for its timing, as the first punch that would ultimately knock off a juggernaut.

1.) The Headbutt


It only fits that in the decades most watched sporting event, the decades most memorable moments is born. Just 10 minutes, plus penalty kicks, from the end of his glorious career, French Magician Zinedine Zidane, always a holder of a hot, quick temper, had heard enough from the libelous mouth of Marco Matterazzi. Matterazzi acted as if he was shot by an AK-47, but either way Zidane's career and World Cup hopes were red-carded in dramatic fashion. It is the one moment that is truly known by billions just by its name. "The Headbutt." There is something greatly humorous that in a sport known for its artistry, it was its greatest artist that added a bit of physicality that led to the decade's most iconic, memorable moment.