All Boss Team: Offense

A Boss. Its one part swagger, one part physicality, and a cocktail of ownership and beastliness. In the NFL, there are stars, there are speedsters, there are mauling offensive lineman, there are the pretty boys (I'm looking at you.... Tommy B), and then there are the bosses. They are the ultimate at their position of unearthing a psychotic level of physical play, able to terrorize opponents with their skill and their swag. This is what makes the NFL great. In the brashest of sports, these are the brashest at their positions. The Boss team.

QB - Peyton Manning, Indianapolis

You can be a boss and be brainy. Peyton is the boss in every definition of the word. He is the owner of the league. He is the leader of the pack. He has the swagger. That look, that fierce look that Peyton gives when he's being challenged, it exudes a confident swagger. He simply does not lose. He simply does not get fooled. He is The Boss on offense.

RB - Chris Johnson, Tennessee

The dreads, the speed, the moves, the confidence to challenge Usain Bolt to a 50m race (however ridiculous that may be). He is the boss at running back. He is a week-in and week-0ut beast. He is the dirtiest man on offense, with the grill and the look and the fact that he went to the East Carolina football factory. Chris Johnson can do everything on the field, and that is more than the fumbler can say for himself.

WR1 - Andre Johnson, Houston

He may not talk all that much. He may not do any dances, may not hold up signs or plead for the ball. All he does is own any DB that tries to cover him. With no other target at all at receiver on that team, and only an above-average QB throwing him the ball, he's got over 100 catches and 1500 yards each of the last two years. Also, he's from the U. He's got that quiet swag. Plus, he's also a physical monster, at 6'4'', 220 lbs. A WR in a LB body. Boss.

WR2 - Steve Smith, Carolina

He is tiny, he is fast, he is the most physical receiver in the league. He's punched out teammates, and scored a TD with a broken arm. He also establishes the rules and regulations of the game. They are 89. That is it. Rules, over. Regulations, over. Steve Smith is the man.

WR3 - Santonio Holmes, Pittsburgh

Any player who can pull the trifecta of getting a punt return TD of the supposed beast Mike Scifres, score an amazing Super-Bowl winning catch, and have a nude picture surface on the internet, with the quadrafecta of having a name of Santonio. He's from "The Ohio State" as well. I can't see how he and Jim Tressell got along at all.

TE - Kevin Boss, Giants

His name is Boss. He has to be on the team. I mean, if Boss Bailey was still roaming the field, he would be a shoo-in. Also, he schooled Rodney Harrison on this play that spearheaded, and kickstarted, the Giants 4th quarter beat-down of the Pats. Just for that, and his very fortunate name, he is a boss.

LT - D'Brickashaw Ferguson, New York (a)

Just for that name alone. I mean, he's got an apostrophe! That is as boss as it comes.

LG - Robert Gallery, Oakland

6'7'', 330 lbs, 32 tattoos, including a arm-length python. He owns three motorcycles and supposedly once ate a 92 oz steak in one sitting. And I only made up one of those. Sure, he was a bust at LT, but is a great LG.

C - Kevin Mawea, Tennessee

He's been sticking his hands through his legs at a high level for the last 14 years. That's enough for me. As always, I know little about o-line play, so I really can't do this with any truthfullness.

Coach - Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh

Six Words: "We Will Unleash Hell in December." Sure, it did not happen, but God was that cool as hell. He is one of the baddest men ever to roam the sidelines.

Owner - Steve Bisciotti, Baltimore

He's the boss of the team with the most all-boss players. A self-made Billionaire, from a family who lost their dad at 8. He started a staffing firm out of his basement, and ended up with 1.5 Billion and the Baltimore Ravens before he turned 40. That is a Boss.

All Boss Team: Defense

Defense

DE - Julius Peppers, Carolina



Names are really important in this discussion. I'm sorry, but Mike Vrabel is just not the name of a Boss. Just to make sure that I'm not racist, Willie McGinest isn't a boss name either. Just to make sure that I'm not a total Pats-hater, James Farrior doesn't cut it either. Anyway, Peppers is an absolute beast. He is always labelled as a guy who doesn't care, yet he just dominates game after game. Carolina would be remiss to let him walk.

DT - Haloti Ngata, Baltimore



The Big Samoan. He is easily the most feared Samoan DT in NFL history, if not the most feared DT in the game today. He's 340 lbs and can run. He's gotten 5 career interceptions, and can play at a high level inside and out. He's as important as Ray Lewis for that defense, and again has a beautiful boss-like name. Haloti Nah-TAH (just say it like that). That is a beauty.

DE - Dwight Freeney, Indianapolis














Doesn't seem like the usual boss, but he plays off injuries, he played a week after partially tearing his quad. He is as good a speed rusher as he is a bull-rusher. He is the one defender Tom Brady fears. Also, he made Jonathan Ogden look like the second coming of the entire Texans offensive line (Carr era version).

OLB - LaMarr Woodley, Pittsburgh










He beats teammate James Harrison because of the name. Nothing much to say. He is a demon off the edge. What I will say is that there is an obvious preponderence of Ravens and Steelers, but that is because Boss-ing is mainly a physical thing, and those two teams climax at the thought of smashmouth football.

ILB - Ray Lewis, Baltimore



He's not what he used to be (which would be the boss-master general), but come on. He practically is the ringleader of the new U, and he's easily the most charismatic, feared LB in the last 20 years. He might not be any better than Derrick Brooks was, but he's got the mojo to get the boss nod.

ILB - AJ Hawk, Green Bay

White man with long, long locks. Count me in. By the way, this selection had nothing to do with the fact I had not picked a single caucausian for the defense yet.

OLB - Joey Porter, Miami

The king of trash talk. The king of just hitting QBs all over the place, and creating havoc for any defense. Overall, it is his prodigious trash-talking skills that puts him here. He is the Gary Payton of the NFL Trash-Talking scene. Joey may have entered Football Hell when he pilgrimaged to South Beach, but he still gets the nod here.

CB - Charles Woodson, Green Bay



He's the best ball-hawk corner around, playing physical man coverage: essentially the corner form of gunfighting. He's a true beast, and he's getting better with age, a rare wine-style boss. I wish the Raiders never let him leave, as he looked absolutely baller in the silver and black, but the green and gold suits him just fine.

SS - Bob Sanders, Indianapolis

Just because he has the physical tolerance of a tissue, doesn't mean we should all forget just how dominant Demond Sanders is when healthy. Bob is everything a hard-hitting strong safety should be. He single-handidly made the 2006 Colts defense title-worthy, which when coupled with the Dreads and the general beastliness of his physical play, is everything a true boss should be.

SS - Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh

He talks softly, prays on the field, never talks trash and has the voice of a woman. However, on that 100x53 yard there is no person that plays with a bigger heart and a bigger head. He is the premier full-field safety, making bone-crushing tackles and then dropping back and picking off pass after pass. To think that Samoa is so boss-like.

FS - Ed Reed, Baltimore

The ultimate Boss. He is the Dark Night, as the video above tries to show. He can do everything. He won Defensive Player of the Year as a Strong Safety, and is the best Free Safety ever. No discussion. He embodies boss. He plays with a cool confidence, a fiery passion and a intellectual brilliance that rivals QBs. He has dragged along old and then bad CBs to mash up a consitently good pass defense. There is no better Boss in the NFL. Period.