= I did this first in 2021 (for the Tokyo 2020 games, which I still love announcers are contractually obligated to call it the 2020 games...), but there was some interesting movement this time around.
= obviously this is partially 'interim' because some sports haven't yet happened in these games: the various track & field things, platform diving, indoor biking, etc.
= This is also going to be judged on my enjoyment of the sport, and pay no real attention to who wins, the stories, the emotional heart-strings and all that stuff; like yes it's great to see the Philippines win their first gold medal in weightlifting, but I honestly don't find it that interesting
= This is being graded gender agnostic, so for say volleyball I'm considering both men's and women's together
Anyway, let's get to the list
Not Ranked - because the non-Olympics version of the sport is just so much better
= Basketball (regular)
= Boxing
= Football (soccer)
= Tennis
= Golf
Most of these are self explanatory. Olympic baseball, softball, basketball, is just never going to be as interesting or good compared to the regular version of those sports. Same with boxing, though this wasn't always the case. For soccer it maybe is the most apparent, as literally no one gave a shit that Messi won an Olympic Gold when speaking of his heretofore struggles winning internationally. Finally, tennis is an odd inclusion given that I've written multiple paeans to the brilliant Olympics in 2016, but that was a once in a lifetime confluence of emotional players and moments. With Fed and Rafa not there, I couldn't give two damns about tennis this time around.
Not Ranked - either because they haven't started yet or I haven't watched
= Artistic Swimming
= Marathon Swimming
= Athletics (e.g. Track & Field)
= Cycling - Indoor & BMX
= Wrestling
= Taekwondo
= Modern Pentathalon
= Sport Climbing
= Canoeing - Sprint
Reason seems fairly self-explanatory here no?
Now to the actual sports
27.) Equestrian (No Change)
2024 Update: Really nothing to update here, still think it's super weird and ridiculous. I will say, them doing it at Versaille was amazing. The French really just were masterful at picking locations for their venues.
I did watch this randomly for about five minutes. I think it was dressage. I will openly say I couldn't for the life of me figure out how the scoring works, and why this glorified Westminster Dog Show is part of the Olympics. Oh and of course I hate it even more because of the weird fact that Mitt Romney's horse once competed
26.) Sailing (No Change)
2024 Update: Again, no real change, but it's funny how I wrote about it being at the mercy at the wind, when notably there was an extreme lack of wind at Marseille this time around. Without wind, it is just so slow and plodding.
I'll say this, the weird way the sailors hang basically parallel to the ocean, grapping random things, is certinaly interesting. Again, really hard to know what is going on. I get its a race, but it also seems so at mercy to the wind. Anyway, let's move on.
25.) Triathalon (No Change)
2024 Update: There will be changes, but unsurprisingly the stuff I didn't like before I still don't. There was some hilarious drama about the water conditions in the Seine being too bad to start the triathalon on time.
Part of this is driven by how long the event takes, and triathalon just takes so damn long. Who's to watch for two hours across three different surfaces. This is certainly amazing in terms of pure athleticism, but in the end is just impossible to hold interest - and very often there are huge gaps by the end of the race so it isn't even likely to give a close finish.
24.) Surfing (-3 from 2021)
2024 Update: Hey, a change! It's funny because it taking in place in Tahiti should've helped but still everyone's way too at mercy to the level of the waves, adn the waves just aren't obliging. I honestly don't know if these more extreme sports are right for the Olympics.
There's a bit of "hey, that's neat!" about surfing, but just not enough happens. I get that they're at the mercy of the weather and the waves - these aren't wave pools - but still 30 minutes where each surfer actually just surfs like four or five times isn't all that interesting.
23.) Weightlifting (+1)
2024 Update: Nothing really to say here, still not too enthralled by people lifting stuff.
Look, it's amazing in terms of a feat of strength, but at the end of the day it just isn't all that interesting to watch someone try to lift really heavy things while standing in place. Sue me.
22.) 3x3 Basketball (-2)
2024 Update: Yeah, I'm out on this now. Court is too small, pace is too weird. Also, we're not sending our best. What I wouldn't have given to see a pissed off Jaylen Brown dominate people in 3x3.
Is is just me or is the court shockingly small? Like there's some five feet seemingly from behind the three point line to the end of the court. I put it down because there are no known players, and also while I appreciate the "let them call it" aspect of having no real fouls apparently, it is a bit much.
21.) Field Hockey (-5)
2024 Update: My second biggest faller, and really I don't know why. It just isn't hitting me enough this time around. Not enough scoring, and the games are a bit too long. Also, this is going to sound worse than I mean it, but the men's field hockey would probably rank last.
I like ice hockey, which both helps and hurts my love of field hockey in the olympics. It gives us some damn interesting matchups, including the sports as a men's sport, which is a completely foreign concept to us as Americans. The action is good, easy to follow - it's surprisingly quick sport as well, but has very few goals which is, much like its iced counterpart, a bit disappointing.
20.) Cycling - Road Race (+3)
2024 Update: A gainer by default. I still prefer the better version of Cycling that is soon to come. This is almost in the category above with basketball, tennis and the like. The Tour de France is so clearly more important/
It will become obvious in a bit how strangely divergent my views are on the two cycling events that have taken place. My largest issue with the road race is once again just how long it takes. This isn't the NFL, I'm not really investing hours in an event. That said, I love the weird brilliance of the Dutch cyclist no realizing she came in second because the leader was so far ahead.
19.) Skateboarding (-9)
2024 Update: By far my biggest faller. The shiny new thing is definitely overstayed its welcome, and for one simple reason: they fall just way too much. I admit when it is great, it is great, but so many damn falls. I get they're happy kids and what not, but overall I'm not for the X-Games-a-fication of the Summer Olympics.
There's definitely some "shiny new thing" aspect to this ranking, but after seeing skateboarding in the Olympics for the first time, and after a while kind of understanding how it works, I got really into it. There's a lot of interesting stories, with the various great 13-year olds, there were some cool tricks. It also knew its shelf-life, getting in and out with some plaudits quickly.
18.) Water Polo (-3)
2024 Update: Still a bit overrated, I don't think this dropped as more so my appreciation of other events increased. It's still astonishing that anyone can do water polo, but the on land version (handball) is so much better.
I honestly think its a bit overrated, at least compared to the similar (but obviously, not in a pool) cousin of handball. It's just a bit too slow and measured given of course they're all in a pool. It's still fun to watch, fairly short, and has some crazy action, but I prefer the version my friends and I played back in highschool which was basically basketball, with the tackling of football, in a pool. That should be an Olympic sport.
17.) Trampoline (not ranked)
2024 Update: I guess I decided to combine this in with normal gymnastics in 2021, but trampoline should be viewed differently. It's super fun, but it is far harder for me to tell the difficulty differences here than in normal gymnastics. Also I scoff at the ridiculous four variable scoring forumula.
16.) Rowing (-2)
2024 Update: I still like the dynamism of how often the leaders will change, but out of all the "go here to there as fast as you can, without any roadblocks and barriers", rowing to me is still the least interesting.
On the down-side, its basically just about speed (and I guess freakish strength), but on the plus side, it's generally short, there's surprisingly more comebacks and changes in position during the race for effectively a 6-8 minute run, and you get a lowkey interesting Olympic sport. Crew people are generally elitist chuds, but that's an American thing - and weirdly, America does fairly bad in rowing....
Rest in Pt. 2
