Tuesday, March 31, 2020

The 10 Most Ludicrous Things in The Tiger King

Like so much of humanity, I watched and was enthralled by The Tiger King. I like to think I was ahead of curve, posting a link to it in a group discord server the day it was released, and finishing the entire thing over the weekend two weekend's ago. I was an early adopter, and shouted loudly into the wind (maybe hitting the ears of a few dozen people) that it was tremendous. The number of twists and turns.

10.) Everyone referred to Jeff Lowe by his full name 'Jeff Lowe'

Let's start with a small thing that I personally found hilarious, and that is that basically everyone referred to Jeff Lowe by his full name. Every time it was just 'Jeff Lowe did this' or 'Jeff Lowe said this', while calling everyone else Jim, Mike, etc. I don't know why people felt compelled to give Jeff Lowe, easily one of the more despicable people in the doc, this honor but it cracked me up every time. I half thought maybe his name is Jeff-Lowe Jones or something, or it was Jefflowe Harris. But no, just Jeff Lowe.


9.) A person got their arm ripped off, but Joe Exotic made sure to grab his EMT jacket

Look, I don't want to put too much blame on Joe for the girl getting her arm ripped off. First, she works at a damn tiger zoo (and by choice). Second, she seemed to actually be stably liking that job and without force agreed to take the job right back. But still, it was amazing to watch Joe Exotic parade around in his own damn EMT jacket, fit with the EMT logo on the back, putting it on prior to the actual EMTs show up. I guess there is some small likelihood that Joe moonlight's as an EMT, but the more likely reason is he knows there's gonna be hella accidents in his park so he wants to look official while adding no real value in the aid of an injured employee.


8.) Joe Exotic's campaign manager didn't think anything was too wrong

There were very few instances of outsiders being unfazed by the whole deal. Take for instance the producer who agreed to help Joe with Joe TV so he could get footage for a reality show. He knew that all these people are ludicrous. But my man the campaign manager that got hired randomly while working at Walmart, my guy was down with it all. He had such a great deadpanned way of explaining his view of what is going on. The most stark / sad example of this is him starting agog with no movement for ten seconds after the younger of Joe's two husbands kills himself in front of him. No rushing over to help or calling for help or just GTFOH, but a shocked, silent face.


7.) Jeff Lowe still plans on building a new zoo

I mean who the hell is going to visit this zoo run by a complete scumbag who stole the zoo from Joe, essentially convinced Joe to go down the path that would lead to his arrest, and is financing this all with a song and a dream. Jeff Lowe was, to me, the worst character on the show (apart from maybe Carole, but we'll get to her later) and the fact that he thought he could keep all those tigers, build another damn zoo that was 'fancier' and roped in another big cat sucker to squeeze and dump him? All of it was ridiculous. The last couple episodes got progressively more depressing, largely because people like Jeff came out OK.


6.) The zoos actually seemed like decent attractions...

Look we can talk about the animals rights issues, the overall distaste of there being more tigers in captivity in teh USA than running wild in the entire world. All of it is bad, but let's not also overlook that it seemed like a lot of people actually liked visiting those zoos, be it playing with the small tiger cubs (who are adorable, to be fair) or even seeing the larger, caged-up cats. I struggle to see the real difference between these places and real zoos other than size. They seemed like decent attractions. Of course, Doc Antle may have euthanized dozens (same with Joe), and there's obviously a lot of pain surrounding these places, but at their very core I did see a whole lot of happy customers.


5.) The room the leg-less park manager was being interviewed in

Ok, here's another random thing I found increasingly funny. what the hell was that room they had the park manager, the guy with two amputated legs, giving his interview in, replete with a rhino on the wall and various furs and animal artifacts. In the beginning I took it that it was the manager's house, but later on we see after he finally left the park he lived in a trailer. So, I ask you, what was that comedically weird place they had him give his interview in? He was probably the most relatable character in the documentary (not truly sure what that says), so it was almost a relief to find out that he didn't live in that carnival house.


4.) The documentarians never calling Carole out on her shit, or also who the hell is ghost-singing for Joe

Man I so wanted at least once for the guys making the documentary to just ask Carole why she thinks she is any better than Joe (or Doc). Why her cages are any better (they aren't). Why she using free labor (volunteers, but they were full-time as hell type jobs) is better than Doc or Joe paying their employees (granted, a piddling salary). How in the hell she is 'rescuing' cats by keeping them in cages and still making money off of them. That's the dark area I wish the documentary went into slightly further. The other area wasn't quite as dark. Why did they never try to figure out who is goddamn singing in Exotic Joe's videos. The singer was quite good. It was so obvious it was not Joe signing, but the documentary just played along. It was hilarious in a way for that to just be left alone.


3.) The cuban druglord who Scarface may have been somewhat based on seemed the most normal

To me, I knew this documentary was going to be something special when they dug up Cuban Miami Kingpin Mario Tabraue as a big-cat collector who sells private tours. It was hilarious that he (a) had a max-security zoo, (b) agreed to allow the film crew in, (c) was seen just fondling little cats, (d) admitted openly to having killed many people but just playing 'the game', and finally (e) knew who Joe Exotic and/or Doc Antle was. He's litteraly a crime character, a real-life personification of the clip from Narcos Mexico when Felix Gallardo receives a tiger as a gift, but instead of one tiger he collected dozens. That was the first twist in a series of ridiculous, enthralling, twists.


2.) Doc Antle ran a harem

Like it was mentioned, and it was good they found a (relatively stable) ex-employee/haremess to interview. It was a relief she escaped and found peace. It was also just weird how this wasn't explored more. The guy is a legit polygamist (then agan, so is Joe - maybe it's a sign) who more or less traps employees looking to play with little tigers into being sex-and-work slaves, softly forces them to get implants, change their names to some ludicrous quasi-asian vibe, and more. Baghavan Doc Antle was somehow simultaneously the most normal and the most insane of our three leads, and nothing was wierder than him being a harem owner and flaunting it openly, while also being the local big-cat-farm owner.


1.) The Tiger King's music video about Carole feeding her husband to the tigers

Let's end with maybe the greatest comedic moment in 2020 television - and it will be hard for anything to touch this. First of all, the episode that explores Carole's old husband Don, who of course himself raised cats, then left his wife for a road-side blonde and ran away with her (Carole), being killed was a series highlight and cemented Carole's place as the worst character o the show. But yes, the idea that she almost certainly killed her husband and fed him to the tigers is just brilliant. More brilliant, of course, was the music video Joe Exotic created, befit with Carole look-alike feeding a meat to tigers holding a mannequin of her husband. I mean, just loop that shit for 30 minutes already. Nothing will top it, be it the voice of whoever is singing for Joe Exotic (and to be fair, those songs were catchy) or the crazy similarity between the lookalike and real Carol to just the damn idea of it all. Joe Exotic may have been a wacko but damn if he wasn't a golden creative (admittedly racist) mind.

About Me

I am a man who will go by the moniker dmstorm22, or StormyD, but not really StormyD. I'll talk about sports, mainly football, sometimes TV, sometimes other random things, sometimes even bring out some lists (a lot, lot, lot of lists). Enjoy.